Oct 31, 2008
Oct 29, 2008
Oct 28, 2008
At 1 I went as a streaker!
At 2... Hey look at me! I'm a cowboy! How original...
And in 1966, at 9, the worlds most frightening Frankenstein.
There you have it, vote early and vote often!
Oct 23, 2008
I am worried about Kathy's dad, he is just crushed.
See you all next week.
Oct 21, 2008
Oct 20, 2008
Here in Colorado, as we all go to the polls we are facing the most amendments that our ballot has ever had. Included in these is #51, where we would receive additional funding to help reduce the wait-list time for people who have disabilities to be able to receive services. As it stands right now, Skyler would start receiving some support around 40-50 years old.
Yes, it is that long of a wait.
I hope and pray that people can find it in their hearts to pass this, but with the economic woes of late, I have my doubts.
Here is Garrison's column:
The Scripture reading in church Sunday gave me a jolt - Exodus 32, which refers to the Chosen People wearing earrings, men as well as women, and I twitched when the lector read it. Yikes! Moses got his ears pierced? What else didn't we know???
And then a bigger jolt. God is so furious at the C.P. for worshiping the golden calf (forged from their earrings) that He talks about consuming them with fire, but Moses talks Him out of it, which sort of dents one's faith in divine omniscience, does it not, the Lord taking a sharp turn like that? ("Oh, I hadn't thought about that - O.K., cancel the thunderbolt!")
But I didn't jump up in my pew and point this out - we like to keep things moving along in church, recite the Creed, confess our sins, pass the plate, sing the doxology, not stop for questions along the way - so I just brood over it, as I do about more and more these days. Walk at night down misty streets through yellow leaves and question everything and keep it to myself.
I let other people carry the conversational ball when it comes to religion, or politics.
I've known enough old bores to want not to be one of them. Old honkers with ratchety voices who hold everyone hostage and make their point 16 times and lay waste to the dinner hour.
Not me, dear hearts. As I write this, the sun is coming up over the Mississippi Valley, and in the orange swashes at the horizon is a long string of clouds that one could imagine are mountains.
It rises on people facing challenges far beyond anything I've known in my rackety life. A beautiful, cheerful woman of 26 has been handed a jagged diagnosis of cancer like a big, wet albatross on a necklace. A friend struggles with severe depression, slogging through the day, wishing the meds would kick in.
And then there is Patrick, whom I met on Saturday, a very bright boy who lies speechless on a gurney, a trach tube in his windpipe, a pump humming softly on a shelf below. His parents explain that he was stricken by a rare neuromuscular disease and that's all they say about that. They're both animated, buoyant, jokey, and Patrick smiles and raises his eyebrows - and suddenly one's own tiny troubles aren't worth mentioning.
The existence of human suffering seems to me to affirm the Christian faith. It's the sacred duty of the faithful to uphold the Patricks of the world and their heroic parents against the prevailing Darwinist forces, but a Patrick shouldn't be asked to sit by the roadside waiting for a kindly Christian motorist to stop - he is entitled to mercy as a basic human right, and it is merciful of Christians to expect government to carry out this duty.
The safety net has become seriously frayed, as the parents of the Patricks of America know very well, and now the sun has risen on an October day of pure blue sky and yellow and red boughs raised against it, and the day must be acknowledged. What a gorgeous life we lead, here in this gaudy forest, the smell of smoke and apples in the air, and three weeks to go before the election.
The American people are poised to do something that could not be imagined 10 years ago, or even five, which is to vote for the best man regardless of his skin color and elect him president.
The campaign against him is not one that anybody will point to with pride in years to come. It is a long trail of honking and flapping and traces of green slime, as if a flock of geese had taken up residence in the front yard.
But Barack's cool poise in the face of blather is some sort of testament to American heart and humor. The man has walked tall and his wife has turned out to be the brightest figure in the whole political parade, an ebullient woman of quick wit and beautiful spirit.
Onward, America. We've all seen plenty of the worst - the sly cruelty, the arrogant ignorance, the fascination with trivia, the cheats, the weaselish and piggish and the buzzardly - but we can rise above it if we will only recognize a leader when one comes along and have the sense to let him lead.
Garrison Keillor is the author of a new Lake Wobegon novel, "Liberty."
Oct 18, 2008
I wonder why they aren't one word statements?
Oh well, that's a debate for another time, away we go!
#1 - Clothes.
Very, very, casual. Bordering on looking like a flood victim most of the time. It doesn't help that I work out of the house now, and can't be bothered to even put on clothes most of the time...
#2 - Furniture
I am the proud owner of one of the finest collections of American Furniture Warehouse "scratch and dent sale" sets to be seen! I do a private tour on the 5th Tuesday of every month.
#3 - Sweet
Why, yes I am, thank you! What's that Beth? Oh, I see. What do I like that is sweet... My bad. I enjoy chocolate, preferably dark chocolate.
#4 - City
Hong Kong. I was there twice in the Navy and it is electric. It is busy, fun, cultural, and the nighttime view from the top of Victoria Peak is awesome!
#5 - Drink
Guinness! I love me some dark beer!
#6 - Music
Here is where I will seem like an idiot (only here Chris, I hear all the voices say).
I like a little bit of music, but from a really diverse set of artists and types. My favorite artist is a toss up between Harry Chapin and Dan Fogleberg.
#7 - TV Series
Must I have only one? Well then it will be Star Trek, the original and Next generation. Yeah, I am seriously a geek...
If it has to one that is on now, NCIS.
#8 - Film
My all time favorite is One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.
#9 - Workout
Every single morning, early as hell. I go to Bally's and hit the stairmaster, Elliptical Trainer, Bikes, lift a little, almost all cardio.
#10 - Pastries
Hard to believe with my chocolate fixation I don't really care for pastries. I would have to say that if cornered, I would say Apple Spice donuts.
#11 - Coffee
Starbucks has it's evil hold on me with the Triple Venti Mocha. I sat down with a calculator and found out what I spend yearly in that place. It isn't pretty, I think I might take up crack instead!
Thanks Beth for the tag, and I am passing along the fun to whoever wants to participate. It's easy, come on folks, play nice.
Oct 17, 2008
First off, a 3 for 1 special on quick jokes!
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:
'Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'
The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'
The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'
The preacher said, 'No shit?'
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm
pan cakes in the middle of the table.
'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'
'Just take two,' Brenda replied . 'The rest are for your father.
And then we have the return of the bad tat series:
I don't care how much you love NASCAR, you're gonna have to tighten up the canvas there girl!
Finally, always remember, your job could be worse...
Oct 16, 2008
Sheriff: Family Cremates Mom On BBQ, Keeps Benefits
Daughter Fashioned Necklace From Mom's Skull, Detectives SayCORNING, Calif. -- The family of a dead elderly woman cremated her remains on a makeshift barbecue and continued collecting her retirement checks amounting to more than $25,000, authorities in Northern California said. Ramona Allmond's daughter and grandson were arrested Sunday on suspicion of embezzlement, elder abuse and disposing of a body without a permit.Allmond, 84, likely died of natural causes, though investigators were still trying to determine the exact cause of death, said Tehama County sheriff's Capt. Paul Hosler.Allmond's daughter, Kathleen Allmond, 50, and Allmond's grandson, Tony Ray, 30, told investigators their relative died in December. They left her body on her bedroom floor for a week before cremating the remains in their backyard fire pit, Hosler said.
Investigators said the two kept collecting Allmond's monthly retirement checks, amounting to more than $25,000. Sheriff's Detective Richard Knox said they may have been trying to honor Allmond's desire to die at home and be cremated.The two were arrested after Allmond's son grew suspicious about her whereabouts.Both were in jail in lieu of bail, with arraignment scheduled for Thursday. The sheriff's department said they do not yet have attorneys.Detectives say the daughter also fashioned a two-inch piece of her mother's skull into a necklace."It gets really weird when you have a piece of mom's skull hanging around your neck," said sheriff's Capt. Paul Hosler. "I'm not aware of any religion that allows you to burn your family members in the backyard and collect their pension."According to investigators, the two burned the woman's body in a concrete culvert. Weeks earlier, they had used the same culvert to build a fire to cook their Thanksgiving turkey.
Oct 15, 2008
Except for one small thing that I really do have some expertise in...
If McCain is going to try and hold up Palin as an advocate for special needs children, maybe he should spend 5 minutes with her and figure out the fucking difference between Autism and Downs syndrome! What a damn idiot, and Palin doesn't have enough "street cred" with any of us that are special needs parents yet, since her kid is a little over 5 months old and she hasn't really had time to figure out whats up.
(stepping down off of soapbox now)
Oct 12, 2008
Mr. Nobody is the big winner, and since he is new to me, I will not traumatize him with an ass-scan.
I am a winner! Teri from Family Tree Junkie
passed on the traveling card to me!! I am sitting on the couch basking in the glow of it's awesomeness right now. Actually, astute blog readers will probably figure out I am typing instead of basking, but you get the gist...
Teri got the card from the wonderful Jen and in order to continue the chain, somebody has to be the next in line. So leave a comment if you want to be the next to receive this wonderful card, and I will draw straws, or accept the largest bribe to decide who will get it next. Here are the rules, because without rules, we might all go "Lord of the Flies" or some such nonsense...
Official rules & regulations:
• When You Get “The Card”post a photograph/scan of it’s arrival & contents
• Ask readers to leave a comment if they want the card next
• Pick the blogger who is worthy
• THEN add your name / url plus a
nice message or creative addition to the card
• Include a copy of the official rules with the card
• Send it on it’s way to the next worthy recipient
• Send it out fast..
- no putting it on the mantle an admiring it for 3 weeks…
• Can a blogger who has already received the card - be sent the card again? - Yes!
• What if there is no room left on the card? -
ADD A NEW PAGE - IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE!
Got all that? So here is the card as it stands:
That was the card prior to Teri, and she added this lovely postcard:
See? See? It is beyond awesome! What will SkyDad add to the card? The imagination reels at what could come out of my twisted little brain, but special consideration will be given to any commenter requesting an ass-scan. See the 3rd picture of this post if you don't get it...
Bring it people!
Oct 11, 2008
Oct 10, 2008
Oct 9, 2008
Oct 8, 2008
Oct 7, 2008
The Denver Post ran a column about a local swimmer who has been spending up to 4 hours in the pool a day training, while going to school at the same time. And not studying basket weaving, she wants to go to medical school.
Check out Erin Popovich, she really is somebody you should know.
Oct 5, 2008
Oct 4, 2008
Don't just send the kids out, go as a family. It's fun and it's educational!
Just because Junior done got stuck in the clothes hamper doesn't mean he has to miss all the fun!
Father of the year? I think he is the leader in the clubhouse at this point...
Uncertain about what you want to go as? Just let your inner freak out...
Granny don't need no f-ing costume!!
Oct 3, 2008
Oct 2, 2008
But when you search for my real blog name, "Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps", you are just begging for trouble! Some of the items that are somewhat postable, and still be somewhat less than x rated are:
I made these smaller...