Jan 31, 2009

Quick Joke

My buddy Jack just sent this to me and it was too good not to share!

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, 'Let's go to my apartment,... I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered . 'Outside, when you said you heard someone coming.... that was me.'

Jan 30, 2009

Maybe you should have thought about a dog

Hey folks, I am over at Fire That Agency today.

Another gift idea for Sky-Dad


You know, just in case you were surfing around over at Cafepress and needed to buy somebody something...

Jan 29, 2009

Jan 28, 2009

Just a couple of pictures

I don't have anything good to write or share today, so here are a couple of pictures of Skyler and I having fun at a new Recreation Center that opened up south of us. It has a warm water pool, a hot tub, lap swimming, kids area, and a lazy river.

Pretty nice!


Jan 27, 2009

President Bush's letter to Obama

Grant Miller recently recently ran a series of posts which described the contents of the traditional letter that the former president leaves for the incoming president.

Now, thanks to his open policy, Barak Obama lets us know the true content of that letter.

Jan 26, 2009

What would the stars look like if they were from Enid, Oklahoma?

My favorites are Ellen with the beehive, Matthew Perry plumbing, and Tom Cruise!


Amy Winehouse


Aslee Simpson


Jennifer Gardner and Ben Affleck


Britney Spears


Cameron Diaz


Ellen DeGeneres


Gwen Stafani


Hilton Sisters


Jennifer Aniston


Jessica Simpson


J-Lo and Marc


John Travolta


Johnny Depp


Matthew Perry


Nichole Kidman


Nichole Ritche


Oprah


Pamela Anderson


Scarlett Johannson


Sharon Stone


Tom Cruise

Jan 25, 2009

It's good to be a man!

My buddy Mike sent these to me, great ads!
What goes through your mind when someone says "Let's go for a drink?"
Clicky to makey bigger...





Jan 24, 2009

Digital conversion Granny has to undo it all!

So the word on the street is that the big conversion from analog to digital TV won't be happening like we thought. Too many folks out there were just unaware I guess. I find it hard to believe that there are still some cave dwellers who didn't get the word, since it has been on every single news cast for the last f-ing year!

So what is poor PSA Granny supposed to do?

Jan 23, 2009

Thank you Insurance King!

I am over at Fire That Agency today. Come drop by and check out this piece of dog poopy!

Jan 21, 2009

Skylers open letter to Barak Obama, if he could write it...

Dear President Obama,

Congratulations on being elected to the office of the president. I watched a lot of news about you in the past year. You seem like a nice guy and know a lot. What you may not know is what is going on for people like me, who have a handicap or special needs.

Everyone is being asked to cut back on what they spend to help out the economy, and I understand that there are a lot of banks and car companies that are in trouble and need help. There are some other people who are being asked to cut back, but they haven't been getting any funding even when the times were good. They are they folks who provide services to kids and adults like me.

I have a disability called Cerebral Palsy, because I was born too early and the part of my brain that makes my body work was damaged. I think just like everyone else, but can't make anything work right, walk or talk and that stuff. Mom and dad take good care of me, because I need a lot of care, but someday I would like to try and live without them. This means that there has to be some people or some place to help me out. Mom and Dad call it services.

Mom and Dad put me on a list when I was little to get services, but the list is long and there isn't a lot of money. A couple of years ago, the last time we checked, I was due to get to the top of the list in about 25 years. I don't imagine it is any better now that everyone needs to cut back. We have met a lot of the people who work at these agencies that help people out, they are nice and try hard. A lot of them work for minimum wage or no money at all, and have to leave to find other jobs that pay them enough to help. But nobody seems to think that what these people do is important.

Maybe you could do something to help out with this. There was a lot of talk about spreading around the wealth during your campaign, and it would be great if some more money wound up helping some people like me. Mom and Dad can take care of me until they are old, but what happens then? I hear that I would go to an institution, which doesn't sound like a very good place to live.

Maybe someday you could visit one of those places that some people seem to think is a great alternative for people like me. You could talk to the folks who are locked in, or tied to their beds all day. Ask them if they are happy. Ask them if you think that the auto workers and banks are the only ones with problems.

Thanks for listening,
Skyler

Jan 20, 2009

Axis of Awesome, 4 Chords, 36 Songs

36 songs that all use the same 4 chords that are in Journeys "Don't Stop Believing", the premise here I believe is that all the others ripped off Journey.

Even the bands that came before Journey...

For Beckeye!

The ever wonderful Beckeye from the Pop Eye put up one of the funniest posts I have ever read over at Fire That Agency. If you haven't read it yet, go check it out, I will wait...

Dum de dum dee de dum...

Oh, you're back! Great, wasn't it grand? I think she deserves an award or something, so here it is:

Jan 19, 2009

The bar has been raised over at the Onion

My buddy Tim sent this to me, and I couldn't agree more with him that "The last statement in the video is the best". I also love the dude who would buy anything from Apple.

Check it out


Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Jan 18, 2009

Sexy? Surely you're not talking about me?

And she said to not call her Shirley! Bada boom, crash right outta Airplane...

Spooky tagged me with a meme called the sexy six. Thanks very much for the tag Spooky, let's get down to it, shall we?

The Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.

2. Post the rules on your blog.

3. Write six random things about yourself.

4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.

5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.

6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

This is quite hard because I have done quite a few of these and everyone kind of knows me. Let's see exactly how random I can get...

1. Call me un-American, but I really don't like Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches.

2. My hair started receding north at an alarming rate when I was about 24 or so, doesn't bother me now, but back in the long hair days, this really sucked!

3. I have one pubic hair that grows about 4 times longer than the rest, and is about twice as thick.

4. I have a big scar on my back that everyone who sees it is sure it is from a knife fight, or I was involved in an industrial accident. It is actually from having a lump surgically removed, I think my doctor got his license in some lame-ass
Caribbean school.

5. I was ranked 13th in my graduating class from high school, which sounds impressive until I tell you my class had about 60 kids in it.

6. Drugs that are supposed to be quite intense for most people don't have that much effect on me. When a doctor says be careful with this pain killer, it is very strong and you shouldn't drive, I get the same amount of buzz as most people who have 1/2 a glass of wine. I blame the indiscretions of my youth and my experimentation...

I usually don't tag folks, but I will tag some new readers to my blog:

Midwestern Mama

Dizzblnd

The sisters

LegalMist

That Damn Expat

Cora

Jan 15, 2009

Quick status update on Skyler; with photos!!

Updated: I have some pictures of the procedure, if you are geeky like me and like that kind of thing. They are posted over at Skylers Spine and there is a road map of the areas they look at with photos taken through the scope. I put them over there so you have to go click to look, because I know how sensitive some of you are... :^)

Hi all, we just got home from the hospital. They found two spots in Skylers stomach that have problems, one is an ulcer on his G-Tube spot, and the other is a "linear erosion" on the stomach wall. So we are going to go get some prescriptions filled for some medicine to give him for both. It is like a drinkable liquid "bandage" for the stomach, sounds pretty wild!

Skyler did very well with the whole thing, he is quite the trooper these days. Kathy is going to the pharmacy and I am taking care of him, but I wanted to check in and let you all know what's up.

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate all of the nice comments and well wishes on and off the blog,
Sky-Dad

Jan 14, 2009

For Bubs

The always great Bubs posted about 2009 threats today, just one of the many valuable services he provides. He mentioned that some citizens in Florida are turning to cougar ownership for safety, and as you see below, we are well behind some African countries already and need to start escalating right away.

Sky-Dad Recommends: The Jeeves Clock



I posted about this clock quite some time ago when I first found it. At that time it was available only in the UK, and all, er, both of my readers declined to pay enough to purchase it and send it to me. Well good news all around! I have more readers and it is available in the USA!!

Just clicky on over to the fine folks at ThinkGeek, and check out some of the wonderful announcements that Jeeves will greet me with in the morning, when you all pool your money together to get me this!

My personnel favorite is:
"Let us seize the day and take it roughly from behind, as the Colonel used to say in his unfortunate way."

Skyler Update; wading through the maze of red tape

In the past I have had nothing but praise for our Children's hospital. It is a wonderful facility, with a lot of caring people in it. But this last week has really sucked. Skyler has been having a lot of stomach pain in the past couple of weeks. We have been doing the over the counter stuff, unplugging him with various methods due to his constant lack of regular bowel movements. But this time his pain has stayed, not doing any better.

So we had a couple of poops that were really black over the weekend, and called our pediatrician. Our pediatrician said to take him to the ER, as this is a sign of a possible peptic ulcer, and it can be serious. So off to the ER we go, sitting in there for about 4 hours waiting for labs to come back. Eventually we talk to the ER doc who tells us that yes, Skyler is bleeding internally, but all of his tests/counts indicate that it isn't bad. We should be seen in the GI clinic soon, but not to worry, we don't have to admit him "right now".

So the orders go into the GI clinic for us to be seen soon, but no emergency. We had an appt. yesterday at 3:00 at the GI clinic, arriving early hoping to get this taken care of. After an hour goes by, a nurse comes in to inform us that there are 2 different clinics for G-Tubes, the actual G-Tube clinic, and the post-surgery clinic. Since Skyler had his put in surgically, in preparation for his back surgery, he needs to be seen there. Well tell them politely to go fuck themselves and we would like somebody to see Skyler. We wait some more to get squeezed in, and eventually we get a Nurse practitioner, since a doc just isn't available. But the NP is pretty cool, saying that we are going to wind up back at their clinic anyway when the other clinic refers us for an upper GI, so why don't we just start the paper work right now.

Cool, she gets it. Go around the bureaucracy. Just one little catch, before we go see the other clinic or get referred for an upper GI, there needs to be an X-Ray of his bowel. So off we go to another section of the facility, complete with it's own paperwork, it's own procedure, and a shit-load of attitude because some people didn't show up for work.

Eventually, we explain that we are there for an X-Ray of his bowel, not his back, because the charts on Skyler are all about his back. But Ms. Pissed off at the world wouldn't stop ranting about the lack of people working to her co-workers to let us explain.

So we go back there at 1:00 today! Wish us luck, or I might be on the evening news getting lead out of the hospital after going postal on some folks.

Jan 13, 2009

Evolution of Dance Part II

Hot off the heels of one of the most watched internet videos of all time, comes the sequel. He still brings it.


Evolution of Dance Part 2 - Watch more Free Videos

Jan 12, 2009

He was in my spot...

My buddy Micheal, another gym rat friend from the mornings, sent this to me. I cannot stop laughing!

Fire That Agency

I have been invited to contribute to the Fire That Agency blog by the awesome Katrocket!

I don't know if it was my rugged, manly looks, the hoards of people who are constantly clamoring to read me, or the fact that I seem to have a never ending supply of stupid videos.

I am going out on a limb and guessing the last...

Anywho, if you want to see what I think makes a good commercial versus a bad one, drop on over to Fire That Agency for my inaugural piece.

I am Loved

I missed the fact that the Damn Ex Pat gave me the award also, I am very sorry. I blame my old brain cells that I killed with too much alcohol back in the days... So updated to include her, anybody else I missed out there?

The lovely love letter writer Cora gave me a lemon cart the other day, and the also lovely and newly married Ex Pat gave me one also! I am just getting around to putting it up on my sidebar.

Thanks to both of you!

Jan 9, 2009

Friday forgotten Video, Maynard Ferguson

My friend Doug from high school introduced me to big band jazz, and in particular, Maynard Ferguson. I have a small collection of his stuff, and it is difficult to find these days since a lot is out of production.

I saw Maynard live twice with Doug, both times at an old south Denver concert hall called the Rainbow. It was small, seating about 300, and had two aisles that went from top to bottom. The cool thing about Maynard and his orchestra was that it was him and a bunch of college kids who would sign on to tour with him over a summer. If you were in school to study music, particularly jazz, you knew his charts. They would play a couple of tunes on stage, then they would all start wandering up and down the long aisles walking while playing. The effect was really cool.

Here is Maynard from about 1977. The best trumpet section, Joe Mosello, Stan Mark, Dennis Noday, and Ron Tooley. Peter Erskine on drums.


But my favorite is his version of the James Taylor song Country Road. Check it out:


More about Maynard from Wikopedia:

Walter Maynard Ferguson, best know for his extreme high register control on trumpet, was a Canadian jazz trumpet player and bandleader. Born in Verdun, Quebec (now part of Montreal) Maynard by the age of four was playing piano and violin but at 9 years of age he switched to cornet. At age thirteen, Maynard first soloed as a child prodigy with the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation Orchestra and was heard frequently on the CBC, notably featured on a "Serenade for Trumpet in Jazz" written for him by Morris Davis. Maynard won a scholarship to the French Conservatory of Music where he studied from 1943 through 1948 with Bernard Baker. Maynard dropped out of Montreal High School at age 15 to more actively pursue a music career, performing in dance bands led by Stan Wood, Roland David, and Johnny Holmes. During this period, Maynard came to the attention of numerous American bandleaders and began receiving offers to come to the United States. Maynard moved to the United States in 1949 and initially played with the bands of Boyd Raeburn, Jimmy Dorsey, and Charlie Barnet. The Barnet band was notable for a trumpet section that also included Doc Severinsen, Ray Wetzel, Johnny Howell, and Rolf Erickson. When Barnet temporarily retired in 1949 and disbanded his orchestra, Maynard was free to accept an offer to join Stan Kenton's newly formed Innovations Orchestra, a 40-piece jazz concert orchestra with strings. While the Innovations Orchestra was not commercially successful, it made a number of remarkable recordings, including "Maynard Ferguson," one of a series of pieces named after featured soloists. When Kenton returned to a more practical 19-piece jazz band, Maynard continued with him. So popular was Maynard with Kenton that for three years running, 1950, 1951, and 1952, he won the Down Beat Readers' Poll as best trumpeter. In 1953, Maynard left Kenton to become a first-call session player for Paramount Pictures. Ferguson appeared on 46 soundtracks including The Ten Commandments. Ferguson still recorded jazz during this period, but his Paramount contract prevented him from playing jazz clubs. While he enjoyed the regular paycheck, Ferguson was very unhappy with the lack of live performance opportunities and left Paramount in 1956. In 1956, Maynard was tapped to lead the Birdland Dream Band, a 14-piece big band formed by Morris Levy as an "all-star" lineup to play at Levy's Birdland jazz club in New York City. While the name "Birdland Dream Band" was short-lived and is represented by only two albums, this band became the core of Maynard's performing band for the next nine years. Following the path taken by many jazz artists in the 1960s, Ferguson left the United States. Feeling that he needed a period of spiritual exploration. Maynard formed a new band and it made its North American debut in 1971. Maynard latched on to the burgeoning jazz education movement by recruiting talented musicians from colleges with jazz programs and targeting young audiences with performances and master classes in high schools. This practical and strategic move helped him develop a strong following that would sustain him for the remainder of his career. In 1988, Maynard formed the group Big Bop Nouveau, a nine-piece band featuring three trumpets, one trombone, two reeds and a three-piece rhythm section. The band's repertoire included original jazz compositions and modern arrangements of jazz standards, with occasional pieces from his '70s book and the Birdland Dream Band; this format proved to be successful with audiences and critics. In 1992, he was inducted into the Down Beat Jazz Hall of Fame. Just days after completing a weeklong run at New York's Blue Note and recording a studio album in New Jersey, Maynard developed an abdominal infection that resulted in kidney and liver failure. Ferguson died on the evening of August 23, 2006 at the Community Memorial Hospital in Ventura, California. «

24 hours of air traffic



This is a NASA recording of world-wide air traffic flow over a 24 hour period. Note the terminator (the line between day and night) as it moves from East to West. Kinda interesting as to how many flights there are over the globe.

Jan 8, 2009

Quick Joke

Just got this today and had to share it with all of you:

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died. I'm married to his fuckin' widow."

Free Porn at That Blue Yak

Now that I have made sure to increase your already overloaded network traffic, go over to That Blue Yak and wish the good doctor a happy day!

Dear Zibbsy, I am sure that everyone out in blogdom will be sending out cards and gifts of little or no value to you today. But Sky-Dad knows how to raise the bar, up the ante as it were. So later today, check your front doorstep for a box that contains the most awesomest gift ever!

Sky-Dad ninja agents captures and sent to you, wait for it....



Scarlett Johansson



And Charlize Theron

That's right suckers, try and beat that (no euphanism implyed)...

Jan 7, 2009

Big winds plus fire is not good!

Updated: I just spoke on the phone with GetKristiLove, and her and SV are safe and out of harms way.

Two big fires burning in the Boulder area, and with winds up to 90 mph, it is a mess!

If you are interested, click on the link:
And then click on the live stream to see whats happening!



Sorry for another video...

But I just keep getting all this great stuff sent my way! Check out this European Verizon commercial:

Jan 6, 2009

Rock on young girl!

I love this, I have no idea what the announcer said, but in the version in my mind I see the parents out in the audience waiting for their young savant to render a version of Bach or Beethoven. Then she busts loose with this.

Finally found a product I can use!

This is almost as good as the Yogurt spoof...

Jan 5, 2009

Classic old videos

I had an old copy of this that I lost quite awhile ago, but thanks to the miracle of the internets, I found it once again. Wonderful stuff here, but a bit long. Give it some time.

I now present Stapler Fahrer Klaus, or as we know him, Forklift Driver Klaus!

Random finds for getting back to work


I remember these from the Spencer gifts catalog! Because those jaw muscles get so sore...



It's a "wonder" the sell any of these...



Why didn't I think of this?



Really? I mean really?



No leaping on my watch!



No they won't, I guarantee it!

Jan 2, 2009

New Years Eve, Sky Dad style...

It is pretty damn hard to find somebody to watch Skyler for us in order to get out on a typical night, so we didn't even try on New Years Eve. Kathy has a friend on her Masters swim team that has a new years eve birthday, so they did an early celebration with her. They all met for a late afternoon of treat-eating and funny present exchanging, from 3-7 or so. Then Kathy comes home and I have Skyler all fed, bathed, and in bed. We tag off and I go to a party that my gym rat friends are having from about 7:30 to 10. Then it is home to bed because there is no such thing as sleeping in in our lives.

As I was chatting with friends at the party, I couldn't help but look around the room and listen to all of the conversations about normal things. Whose kids are going to what college, or are preparing for school, where different folks went on vacation, and what is going on in the lives of people who live the "normal" daily grind.

I was kind of struck by the fact that there is never going to be a normal day in my world, Skyler isn't going to college, much less find a career. The best we can hope for is to find a place that is accepting enough to let him volunteer.

There won't be a vacation, not in the go someplace to relax sense, because it is even more difficult to get Skyler on the road than it is to care for him at home.

I don't normally envy others lives, but that night I really did. Then a well meaning friend started quizzing me on what is going on with Skyler, asking several times what are we going to do with him, what will he do when he is out of school, how will we take care of him when we get old... I just kept saying that it is kind of one day at a time, trying to extract myself from this conversation I didn't want to have.

So, I excused myself and left. And then the next day called the host of the party and apologized. So I guess 2009 didn't start off too well, but I am sure it will get better. Time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get to painting the bathroom now! The fun times just don't end! ;^)