Feb 25, 2010

Our Local Rec Center

The pool portion of our local recreation center has been closed for renovation for over a year now. We have been taking Skyler swimming every Sunday for a heck of a long time, and so during this shutdown period we have been driving to a number of different rec centers all over the Denver metro area. It has been fun to see a lot of new places, but we are ready to just drive the 5 minutes locally instead of all over hell's half acre!

This past Sunday the pool opened back up and we cruised on over to check it out. They really did a nice job on it, adding a little kids play area, a moving water feature called the lazy river, and a tube slide. There is also a climbing wall and rope swing that dumps into a deep well pool that is 12 feet. The only thing we noticed is that it seems really loud, which you will see in the video we took.

So turn down your volume before you check this out, and try not to be frightened by my pasty whiteness and extra large bags under my eyes...



Up to 30 seconds is looking down at it from up top through the glass as you enter the place.

50-58 seconds check out the tube slide, it goes outside the building and comes back in!
Then I pan outside to the snowy hill where kids are tubing down, but you can't see that well.

1:12 to 1:50 we went around the lazy river, the current isn't much but it is fun.

Then we head over to the hot tub to warm up.

Feb 24, 2010

It's The Juggalo News!

Insane Clown Posse be droppin' the mad cable news flava, bitch! Check this dope shit out mutha-f-er!!

I won't tell you who sent this one to me to post, because she said she doesn't have the balls to post it herself. Oops! Spoiler alert, I just cut out half the population by saying "she".

Huge prizes to whoever can guess the mystery ball-less women...


Feb 23, 2010

Bad Tat Tuesday

It's a bit like watching a car sliding down an icy hill in slow motion. You know it will slide through the intersection, and you know it will probably get t-boned. You open your mouth to shout a warning, only to realize that nothing you can scream will make a bit of difference.

All you can do is watch, helplessly, hoping against all hope that the eventual carnage isn't too bad.

Yes, that's right. You just know you are going to start scrolling down, don't you?

It's alright. It won't hurt... much...


Probably torn off in some sort of horrific industrial accident.


Very nice, but kind of like those lovers coins that fit together, who wants to always have to be side by side to show them?


Stay klassy there Bo Duke.


LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!


Kind of cool I suppose, but needs to be a bit better quality.


It's a fish! No, it's a flower! No. It's... it's...


Seriously, I have no clue. Game controller?


This is my next interview suit if I leave my current job.


If you turn him upside down and shake him, does it clear itself?




I ended with this to sort of clear the rest of the garbage out of your brain. You can thank me later.

Feb 22, 2010

Old Rock Star Songs

Updated for us aging baby boomers. Tim Hawkins sings songs that famous Rock Stars will be singing in their old age. He really sounds like some of them!!


Feb 21, 2010

You meet the most wonderful people on the Internettubes!

Lots of the people I have come to know through this here little web diary I consider friends now. Even though I haven't met most of you face to face, I feel like I have an idea of what you are like, what you like to do, what you hate. It has been an interesting experience finding new and different people out there. A lot of you are also on Facebook, and that is pretty cool also, but brings up an embarrassing admission for me.

Some of you that I know from blog land I have no idea who you really are on Facebook.

There. I said it. Yeah, I am pretty dim witted some, er, most of the time and for some folks out there I haven't put it together. So if you are feeling like being kind to me, drop me a note and let me know who you are here and on Facebook, and I promise not to spill the beans.

Unless of course I am waterboarded, or tortured in a more insidious method like taking away my coffee. Then all bets are off...

In closing, here are some of the folks that I have decided NOT to friend or blogroll:






























Feb 19, 2010

The late friday bring it on weekend post!

Just a random collection of funny stuff I have found while sniffing up the flanks of the Internettubes...

Have a great weekend everyone!



















Feb 18, 2010

Impossible is Nothing

This is just about 8 minutes, and well worth watching. Lots of clips of different motivational speeches merged together, with a montage of why we play the game.

Enjoy.

Feb 17, 2010

What You May Have Missed On Valentines Day

Well, at least he tried... This reminds me of Monty Pythons Meaning of Life skit, Mr. Creosote.

Feb 16, 2010

We interrupt Bad Tat Tuesday for some ranting...

I didn't get around to collecting enough tats for another edition of Bad Tat Tuesday, so sorry folks. My bad. But what has been going on is a lot of suck! Therefore you get to listen to me bitch...

Dear lady in front of me at Starbucks, what is that delightful scent you are wearing this fine morning? It seem like a mixture of dog crap, after-sex, and shame. And I do believe you applied it with some device of your own design I can only imagine is like a moving walkway that goes through a personnel sized car wash! Well done fine maiden, well done!

While we are on the subject of dog crap (seamless transitions are a forte of mine) what the hell is with you people at the off-leash dog park? Right there at the entrance is a roll of bags that you can grab a couple off of just like a paper towel dispenser. It isn't too difficult, bag up Fido's dropping and put them in the barrel on the way out! It is just common courtesy, and if we don't do it we will lose this place, get it? And to you people who manage to bag it, and LEAVE IT ON THE GROUND IN THE BAG, what the fuck is wrong with you?!?!? Do you think the poop fairy comes at night to clean up after you? This is worse than not bagging, because at least the non-bagged stuff will eventually disintegrate, but no... not you. You like to plastic wrap your land mine!

Hey ass-hat who drove so close to my rear bumper I couldn't even see your plate number. That light flicking move might get me to move out of the way on the Autobahn, or the Interstate if you need to achieve warp 9, but this is a city street and I am turning left at the end of the block! You should have left sooner this morning AJ Foyt, because now I am just slowing down to mess with you.

Pardon me Mr Project Manager at work, I know that you are the most important person in Cisco, and the economy will collapse if we don't move your little 8 port switch out the door, but come on. How many times are you going to invoke the name of "your bosses boss" one of the VP's and then tell me how much "visibility" this project has? And did you really just tell me to re-write my document with your marketing lingo that turns nouns into verbs? What the hell is this, did I just violate some dimensional rift and wind up inside a Dilbert comic?

OK, I am done now, thanks for letting me vent. We now return you to Olympic updates and silly YouTube videos...

Feb 15, 2010

Monday Morning Madness

Monday mornings are crap, we all know that. So I thought why not start the day off with a nice collection of WTF??



What the hell are we teaching here?


When we got the pictures back, we were shocked to see dead uncle Frank.


I want to party with this guy!



Just what I want to see looking back at me in the mirror each morning.


Is this really a major problem? When I have morning wood I just use the tub...


Math sucks.



I need a pair of cool shades that makes me look young, hip, and a whole different awesome person!



Meanwhile, back at the nutsack gallery...



Possibly the scariest picture in this entire collection!


I downloaded all of these through my Internet hole. If you don't have an Internet hole yet, why are you waiting?!?

Feb 14, 2010

Happy Valentines Day!

Here are some things to make you laugh while you try and figure out what just happened to your wallet after buying that 40 dollar bouquet of roses...

A Valentines Day Confrontation Between A Mother and Her 7-Year-Old Daughter on CollegeHumor

When I use Old Spice, I can make diamonds appear while I ride a horse!

Look at me!!


Feb 12, 2010

Why I am an Olympics Geek, reposted from Aug 6, 2008

I was going to do another long post, but I figured that I had already told most of you why I love the Olympics in an older post. So I am just going to repost the content here. Of special note, my favorite Olympic Athlete I talk about at the end will be at this Olympics as a commentator again! Yipppppeeeeeee!!

Repost begins...

I love the Olympic games. I know, what the heck is so interesting about them? All the controversy and politics involved, it makes most people want to wish it would all go away. But I still love to watch them. I love competition, and especially love competition at it's best. When it is done right, and there isn't a message being thrown in your face, it brings out the best in us. I am drawn to the power, the beauty, the grace of athletes who are the best at what they do. And I am drawn to the stories behind the athletes, what they have given up to become the best.

I like both Summer and Winter games, and have favorite sports in each. The Winter games are special to me because I used to race downhill back in the day, and in the Summer games I love to watch the mile and the 800 meters, because I used to run both of those events.

I am also a fan of watching the marathon, because I have run that race and have friends that still run that distance. It is such a huge test of endurance, and to do it at the pace the Olympic athletes do it in, just boggles my mind.

But the best thing about the Olympics to me isn't the competition itself, it is the stories behind the scenes. The big stars are fun to watch, and I appreciate watching the best that the sport has to offer, but give me the underdog any day. The one who doesn't have a staff of people tending to their every need, the one who has to hold down a full time job and train at the same time. Those are the special stories.

I have favorite moments that bounce around in my head, both amazing athletic achievement, and the moments that break your heart. I tried to find some of the stories online, some I could and some I could not. But here are the stories that I love...

Cathy Freeman lit the torch to open the games in Sidney, then won for her country and the recognition of the Australian Aborigines when she took gold in the womens 400m at Sydney.


Britain's Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean earned 6.0s in 12 of their 18 marks for their free-dance interpretation of "Bolero" in 1984. They received unanimous perfect scores for artistic impression and were the first non-Soviet or Russians to win ice dancing gold.


Ali lighting the Olympic torch in Atlanta


Brian Boitano beating Brian Orser in mens skating by the narrowest of margins.


Hermann Maier crashes during the mens downhill, which was his specialty. He is knocked unconscious, and has a messed up shoulder, and still comes back the next few days to win the Giant Slalom and Super G.


Another of my favorite skiers, Franz Klammer wins in his homeland of Austria where skiing is like religion. People line the course like we show up for football in the south.


I was cheering and crying when Dan Jansen finally got the monkey off of his back and won the gold in his final race.


The beauty of Nadia Comaneci in 1976 when she became the first to ever get a perfect score.


My favorite runner of all time, Emil Zatopek, had a running style that was completely without style, and he looked much older than he really was. If you were to pass him by on the street, the last thing on your mind would be world class runner. But he accomplished what nobody has ever done, and probably will not do again. Win the 5K, 10K, and the Marathon. They are all such different running disciplines, I can't imagine anybody being able to do it. Emil is the man in my avatar here on Blogger.


Billy Mills beating his own personnel best by 46 seconds in the 10K?!?! That is impossible, just ask anybody. But he did it.


All great performances, but other moments have been even more special to me. These are the stories that I love to hear, where people have competed for their country and for themselves just for the love of the sport. People like:

Eddie the Eagle!


Derek Redmond who tore his hamstring and still limped to the finish with his dad. His dad, by the way, bowled over two security guys like they were toddlers on the way out of the stands to go to his son.


Eric Moussambini of Equatorial Guinea swimming the 100 meters for the first time in an Olympic sized pool. He almost drowned! He trained in a hotel pool in his home country, and showed up at the Olympic games without any gear. The American and Australian teams set him up with caps, goggles, and worked on his stroke for a bit, but in the end it was all he could do to finish his first heat. Go Eric go!!

One special story that I just love is about just qualifying to make the Olympics. It is the story of two young girls who compete in Tae-Kwon-Do. Prior to the Sydney games, Esther Kim and Kay Poe trained and competed against each other in Houston. In the semi-finals, Kay Poe tore up a knee in the match against Mandy Meloon, but still won. Now she faced her friend, Esther Kim in the finals, with the winner going on to compete in Sydney. Kim told Poe: "Kay, just stop arguing and listen to me. You can't even stand up. If I won, it wouldn't be fair. I want you to let me bow out to you." Poe said no. Kim insisted. Ken Poe, Kay's father, brought Jin Kim over so everyone involved would know what happened and why. Both women were in tears as the Kim helped Poe limp to the competition mat. When the decision was announced, everyone at the Olympic Training Center stood and applauded as the two tearful women went to the mat, bowed and fell into each others arms sobbing.

Champions aren't always the ones with the medals hanging around their necks.


When International Olympic Committee (IOC) president Juan Antonio Samaranch heard of Kim's selfless act, he paid for her travel expenses to Sydney so she can see Poe try to win Olympic gold with the second-chance gift from her friend.


Other moments that I have read about and find special:

In 1912,
American Jim Thorpe won the five-event pentathlon the ten-event decathlon. Nobody else has ever accomplished that feat.

In 1928 Australian rower Henry Pearce stops halfway through his quarterfinal race to let a family of ducks pass in front of his boat. Pearce still managed to win the race and the gold medal. In events that are measured by times down to 100ths of a second, that is just crazy to think someone could pull that off.

In 1960, Ethiopian Abebe Bikila won the marathon barefoot, he also broke the world record.

In the following games in1964, Bikila wins the marathon again after having his appendix removed a couple of weeks earlier!

Everyone knows about Jesse Owens winning 4 gold medals in 1936 in Berlin. But he faulted twice on the long jump and would be disqualified if he faulted a third time. It was the German long jumper he was competing against that told him to lay a towel down on the runway just before the jump line to use as his mark. Owens then won the gold and credited his rival for helping him win.


But my all time favorite athlete is Picabo Street.

Picabo was a tomboy growing up in Idaho to a couple of self-professed "hippies". The Streets' grew their own food and chopped their own wood for heat and cooking. Their was no television in their home until Picabo was 14. She grew up in a tiny village (population: 50) with only eight kids. Seven of them were boys. So she grew up tough, lost teeth as she raced BMX bikes against the boys, and found her passion in skiing. She won her first silver at Lillihammer in the downhill, and followed that up with the first ever world cup championship by an American. She had her first serious knee injury prior to the Nagano games. She rehabbed and came back. Then, in her last pre-Olympic competition on January 31, she crashed into a fence going 75 mph at the end of the race in Are, Sweden. Knocked unconscious, Street was able to walk away under her own power. Although she suffered a concussion, Street remained upbeat going into Nagano.

A few weeks later, Street became a hero when, ignoring headaches and neck pain, she captured her life-long dream: a gold medal at the Olympics. What makes the accomplishment even more remarkable is that she did it in the super giant slalom (Super G), an event in which she had never won a World Cup race -- even if it was by the slimmest of margins (.01 of a second).

Later that season, Picabo once again was faced with adversity, and this time it nearly ended her career. During a World Cup downhill race in Switzerland, she misread a bump and slammed into a fence at 70 mph. "I was lying there, and I could feel this bone trying to protrude out of my quad," she said.

It was a devastating injury. Her left femur was broken in nine places. To make matters worse, she also tore the ACL in her right knee. Nearly 28 at the time, Picabo's return to competitive world class skiing did not appear bright. "The damage was so total that the first order of business was just to try and get the knee to work again, let alone go skiing," said a team coach.

There was a Nike commercial at the time that ran on TV that I have tried hard to find out on YouTube, but to no avail. It showed Picabo in the hospital in bed, getting out into a wheelchair. She peeks out the door into the hall, and positions herself looking down the end of this long hall. The background sound is of the start of a ski race, with the countdown we have all heard, the 5 beeps with the last one being higher pitched signifying the start. She tears down the hall in her chair, to the sound of a downhill race, reaches the end of the hall and pulls the brake on the chair in a sliding turn to the next hall. Again the ski race sound matches perfectly. At the end of the hall is a set of stairs going down. She hits the end of the hall and flies down the stairwell. The sound is a perfect match of a skier who is now airborne, and you loose the chatter of the skis on the icy snow. She hits the bottom of the stairs to a hard landing in the chair and screams out through the automatic doors of the hospital.

Outside is the clock showing her time, just like in a real race. She give it a fist pump, turns and heads back inside.

To me, this is the perfect commercial showing exactly what she is made of.

She came back to ski, but never was able to climb back into the top ranks of the field. In Salt Lake she finished 16th in the downhill, and then retired from competitive skiing. But I will always remember the interview prior to that race when they spoke to a German racer who was the favorite (damn is I can remember her name now). She said she felt good about her cahnces, and mentioned a couple of other women to worry about. Then she leaned in toward the camera, kind conspiratorial, and said in a lower voice full of a great German accent like it was a secret:

"You always have to worry about Picabo, she is quite crazy you know!"

Thanks for reading this far, I apologize for the length.