Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps

Go downhill fast with Lindsey!

2012-01-30T16:02:00.001-07:00

I shared this on facebook but wanted to also share it where it would stay around a little longer. This is a great video, Lindsey wearing a GoPro on a training run in St Moritz giving you a skiers point of view. Look how hard she has to edge at about the 3:25 mark back and forth!

I used to be on a downhill team in high school, I always wanted to carry a video camera on a run with me. Of course they were the size of a microwave back then...

Untitled from lindsey vonn on Vimeo.

More Friday Funnies

2012-01-27T12:26:00.001-07:00

Since the well is dry for anything that may happen in my life that is even remotely worth writing about, here are some funny things found while taking an in-depth survey of the visceral underbelly of the internet tubes.

These Images Cannot be Explained

2012-01-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago my friend Cindy sent me a link to weird black and white photos from long ago. These are my favorite out of a whole bunch of weirdness.

What is your favorite? I like the girl on the bed with the bear resting its paw on her shoulder.

Bad Tat Tuesday!

2012-01-17T10:18:00.000-07:00

As promised from last week, I am saving this whole series of bad tats that I received from Debralee for today. I almost missed it because of the 3 day weekend, that messed me up a bit...

Enjoy these that are all techy related, and certainly weird. Thanks Debralee!

RFID anybody?

I don't care if it's good or bad ink. Nothing looks good across your knuckles.

This is C++ for anybody that is interested, or didn't know. WTF?

Not to be left out of the geekdom, some Java code.

And throw in a mix of some UNIX commands.

And a couple more for the folks who are way too much into Apple.

HTML for the win!

And last but not least, a QR code. Just in case he needs to be scanned...

Days gone by...

2012-01-16T10:15:00.001-07:00

I am feeling a bit nostalgic today, as I found some old photos of my youth.

I really miss those carefree days of motoring about the estate, then enjoying a rousing game of croquette with the other lads.

Like Phoenix Rising from the Ashes!

2012-01-12T14:26:00.000-07:00

A little while ago I heard some news of the greatest importance.

News that was greeted by swooning ladies.

News that caused grown men to break down and cry.

News that made the Dos Equis man suddenly declare himself to be the second most interesting person in the world.

There is word on the street that the one and only Katrocket might be coming back to blogging!!

I will pause for a moment while you collect yourselves, get out your inhalers, and change into a fresh adult diaper...

That's right, the one and only said that she might be dusting off the old electronic tablet and letting us know what is going on in the world. And since she is the one who started writing Fire That Agency, I thought it might be good to dust that off, clean out the varmints from under the sink, and get a fresh posting up there. I mean, it has been since Sept of 2010, but who is counting...

So drop on over to Fire That Agency, and I will let you see what craptastic ad that I just found.

It's time for another Bat Tat Tuesday!

2012-01-10T08:26:00.002-07:00

All of you fine readers out there that enjoy this series have kept me in stock with a lot of bad ink. It's time to give credit where credit is due!

From my friend Shelleigh, I wish I was smart enough to understand what the hell this means.

This is amazing work, but who wants their entire back covered with the eye of sauron?

Found on the geeks are sexy website. Why?

I put this one in the collection just because I absolutely love this ladies attitude!

From my friend Gail, the story behind this was that the tat artist/boyfriend found out his girl was cheating and instead of a scene from Narnia gave her this. No word on whether or not the story is true.

A Facebook find


My friend Cindy that sent this one to me, I just love it!

Here come a bunch from my buddy Chad, who sent even more but there were some repeats from previous posts. Well done Chad, and as he said, you will need some eye bleach...

I am going to save the series that my friend Debralee sent to me for next week, stay tuned!!

Quick Joke

2012-01-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.

It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it let alone turn it on

even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real

bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when

you really need it, you can’t get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive

to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price,

but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases

with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that

the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one,

and replace it each year.

End of the year nonsense

2011-12-31T10:11:00.001-07:00

My News Years Resolution is to try and post more, and post a little more personnel stuff. But for now, more randomness found on the internettubes!

Merry Christmas My Friend

2011-12-25T16:26:00.000-07:00

From Chicken Soup for the Pet Lovers Soul, one of the best, and most emotional short stories I have ever read.

"I will never forget you," the old man said. A tear rolled down his leathery cheek. "I'm getting old. I can't take care of you anymore."

With his head tilted to one side, Monsieur DuPree watched his master. "Woof woof! Woof woof!" He wagged his tail back and forth, wondering, What's he up to now?

"I can't take care of myself anymore, let alone take care of you." The old man cleared his throat. He pulled a hankie from his pocket and blew his nose with a mighty blast.

"Soon, I'll move to an old age home and, I'm sorry to say, you can't come along. They don't allow dogs there, you know."

Bent over from age, the old man limped over to Monsieur DuPree and stroked his head.

"Don't worry, my friend. We'll find a home. We'll find a nice new home for you." And, as an afterthought he added, "Why, with your good looks, we'll have no trouble at all. Anyone would be proud to own such a fine dog."

Monsieur DuPree wagged his tail really hard and strutted up and down the kitchen floor. "Woof, woof, woof, woof." For a moment, the familiar musky scent of the old man mingling with the odor of greasy food gave the dog the feeling of well being. But then, a sense of dread took hold again. His tail hung between his legs and he stood very still.

"Come here." With great difficulty, the old man knelt down on the floor and lovingly pulled Monsieur Dupree close to him. He tied a ribbon around his neck with a huge red bow, and then he attached a note to it. Monsieur DuPree wondered what it said.

"It says," the old man read aloud, "Merry Christmas! My name is Monsieur DuPree. For breakfast, I like bacon and eggs -- even corn flakes will do. For dinner, I prefer mashed potatoes and some meat. That's all. I eat just two meals a day. In return, I will be your most loyal friend."

"Woof woof! Woof woof!" Monsieur DuPree was confused and his eyes begged, What's going on?

The old man blew his nose into his hankie once more. Then, hanging onto a chair, he pulled himself up from the floor. Buttoning his overcoat, he reached for the dog's leash and softly said, "Come here my friend." He opened the door against a gust of cold air and stepped outside, pulling the dog behind. Dusk was beginning to fall. Monsieur DuPree pulled back. He didn't want to go.

"Don't make this any harder for me. I promise you, you'll be much better off with someone else."

The street was deserted. It began to snow. Leaning into the wintry air, the old man and his dog pushed on. The pavement, trees, and houses were soon covered with a blanket of snow.

After a very long time, they came upon an old Victorian house surrounded by tall trees, which were swaying and humming in the wind. The old man stopped. Monsieur DuPree stopped, too. Shivering in the cold, they appraised the house. Glimmering lights adorned every window, and the muffled sound of a Christmas song was carried on the wind.

"This will be a nice home for you," the old man said, choking on his words. He bent down and unleashed his dog, then opened the gate slowly, so that it wouldn't creak. "Go on now. Go up the steps and scratch on the door."

Monsieur DuPree looked from the house to his master and back again to the house. He did not understand. "Woof woof! Woof woof!"

"Go on." The old man gave the dog a shove. "I have no use for you anymore," he said in a gruff voice. "Get going now!"

Monsieur DuPree was hurt. He thought his master didn't love him anymore. He didn't understand that, indeed, the old man loved him very much, yet he could no longer care for him. Slowly he straggled toward the house and up the steps. He scratched with one paw at the front door. "Woof woof! Woof woof!"

Looking back, he saw his master step behind a tree just as someone from inside turned the front doorknob. A little boy appeared, framed in the door by the light coming from behind. When he saw Monsieur DuPree, he threw both arms into the air and shouted with delight, "Oh boy! Oh boy! Mom and Dad, come and see what Santa brought!"

Through teary eyes, the old man watched from behind the tree. He saw the mother read the note, and tenderly pull the dog inside. Smiling, the old man wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his cold, damp coat as he disappeared into the night whispering, "Merry Christmas, my friend."

by Christa Holder Ocker
from Chicken Soup for the Kid's Soul
Copyright 1998 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen and Irene Dunlap

Duo MainTenanT

2011-12-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

That's the name of the dance these two are performing.

I received this through email from a former co-worker who knew that I enjoyed the Cirque du Soleil when we got an opportunity to see it several years ago. These two are former Cirque du Soleil dancers who are performing what I can only imagine must be the most sexually charged routine you can get away with in general public.

My friend raved about how beautiful this is, and I agree. But I come away with several questions that I feel need to be asked of you, the backbone of blogging society.

Watch first, then answer please.

Good, now that you have gone and showered and are toweled off, let's begin.

What is the over and under for how many times they needed to rehearse this until he could get through the performance without A) Sporting wood or B) exploding in his pants?
Are these two lovers off stage? If not, is there anything a guy could hope to pull off that could possibly satisfy her?
Did he really just catch her by the crotch with his face?
Did she really just facepalm/handstand on this guy?
Does she not have the most incredible ass ever put on earth?

OK, I'm done now.

Historically Accurate Prints from ETSY!

2011-12-16T11:01:00.003-07:00

I found this rare collection of prints that I am thinking of purchasing as a gift to myself for Christmas. Not many people are aware of the dual lives that a few of our most famous presidents lived, and these wonderful prints perfectly illustrate what is great about our heritage here in America.

Remember, these are historically accurate, and really happened!!

Go here if you want to buy them for me...

Go Ahead, Drive Like a Maniac!

2011-12-12T16:52:00.001-07:00

Let's bring in the weekend with a little WTF!

2011-12-09T15:31:00.001-07:00

The official team video of "It's only a flesh wound" from the Red Rocks Relay

2011-12-04T19:27:00.001-07:00

Kevin always does a great job on the team video, this year is no exception!

Just a quick funny

2011-12-01T15:52:00.001-07:00

I thought this was wonderful...

Thanksgiving Trip

2011-11-28T09:24:00.001-07:00

Thanksgiving this year was spent up in the Seattle area where my wife is from. It was a rather short visit this time (5 days) and I posted a few pictures of the visit, including one of the rain when we landed. Winter months are generally not very nice in the pacific northwest, but it is usually a mixture of clouds and drizzle. This was full on downpour!

One of my Facebook friends commented on the picture of the rain with "So, what's your first impression of the Northwest?" I kind of chuckled at that after thinking about how many trips I have made up there. We have been married 28 years now, and have gone to visit at least once, and more often twice a year. If I guess conservatively at half the years were twice, that amounts to 42 trips to the Seattle area! I think I might need to start filing state taxes there.

My wife's father continues to worry us a lot, he seems to slip a bit more each time we visit. He met us for lunch and then had to call for help because he couldn't remember where he parked his car at. At his house, all the stuff that was beside his wife's bedside when she passed away 3 years ago is still sitting there in the spare bedroom. Nothing is cleaned up or thrown out, and I think the family needs to come together and have a work party to get the house in shape.

Skyler loves going there and seeing all the family, and he got to see his favorite cousin, Kirsten. She is great with him and he loves her. He also has to have us call or text his aunt Karen with everything that happens in his life. They all are really nice to him.

We are also worried about my wife's oldest sister's husband. He has cancer in his esophagus, shoulder, and hip. He is going through radiation and chemo, and we will have to just wait and see if it makes a difference. It is not a good situation.

It is good to be back home though, where it is so much easier to take care of Skyler than it is on the road. The hardest thing is to bathe him, when we don't have his bath chair to sit in. We wind up doing lots of sponge baths, and that worked when he was little, but now he is a young man with "guy stink"!

I hope all of you had a good Thanksgiving holiday, take care.

Herman Cain Sexual Harassment Ad

2011-11-24T22:24:00.001-07:00

My buddy Tim passed this on to me, love it!

Herman Cain Sexual Harassment Ad - watch more funny videos

Aviation Nation 2011

2011-11-19T11:39:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the serious neglect around this little corner of the internettubes. I have been appearing more over on my facebook account because it's cheap and easy, just like I am!

Hey-ooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

My Navy buddy Russ and I made our 3rd trip out to Vegas and Nellis AFB to attend Aviation Nation last weekend. It was excellent as usual, and here is a collection of stills for you to peruse.

I was going to post some videos that I took, but they kind of suck. I found some that more professional folks than me took, which are a lot better.

My buddy Russ standing next to a tool.

End of the week, fantastic friday fun!

2011-11-04T14:36:00.000-06:00

Trees are getting trimmed and limbs picked up as I type here. The latest snow brought down more limbs, so the trees in the backyard got a significant haircut today.

Hopefully, this concludes our year of household repairs and calamity.

Here are some funnies I have collected for a couple of weeks to get you into the weekend, enjoy all.

Viagra for the ladies

2011-11-02T09:28:00.002-06:00

Tired of being left out when it comes to all the boner pills out there? Well now there's a pill for the ladies also!

How did Bad-Tat Tuesday sneak up on me again?

2011-11-01T08:39:00.002-06:00

I haven't received or found any truly horrific tats in the last few weeks, but I have saved a few that are really not bad quality, just suspect ideas for permanently applying to your skin.

Thank you Fred Gilgoff!

2011-10-27T08:21:00.000-06:00

The Tug Toner

2011-10-22T19:48:00.001-06:00

Can't. Stop. Laughing!

Married To The Sea

2011-10-20T18:43:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite sites on these here tubes of the internet machine is called married to the sea. You can find them at http://www.marriedtothesea.com/, go check them out and be prepared to waste the rest of your day laughing like an idiot like I do.

Of course you have to have a somewhat tweaked sense of humor to achieve proper idiot style laughing like I do, but even those of you without the benefit of a funny bone will enjoy some of them.

Here are a few of my favorites:

The Almost Too Late For Bad Tat Tuesday Edition!

2011-10-18T14:39:00.002-06:00

Several wonderful folks have sent me some more lovely pieces of work, you are all to be commended on your efforts!!

Cora was standing in line behind a fine young man who wanted to make sure he always knew how to make the letter "A"...

And The Vegetable Assassin sent me a link to this great work of art:

Wow... If words aren't enough to profess your love always include stars and butterfly's.

And speaking of the wonderful veggie, she came through with another tat that will certainly make this guy a big hit when he eventually winds up in prison:

Yes indeed, klassy as they say.

This one comes from one of my buddies that I work out with, but I have seen it before out and about:

I think that Kelly is pretty damn thoughtful, don't you?

And last but not least, from the wonderful world of Facebook, comes our mission statement here at Bad Tat Tuesday:

See you all next time around!

Friday Fun

2011-10-14T10:11:00.000-06:00

A random collection of stuff I found on the seamy underside of the internettubes.

Enjoy, and have a great weekend everyone!

Seven Sent

2011-10-07T13:23:00.000-06:00

I was recently tagged in a meme by The Jules from the always entertaining blog, The Gravel Farm. If you haven't read The Jules, please go over and peruse some of his wonderful tidbits from across the pond. You won't be disappointed!

He received it from the blog of Mr London Street and like the good paramedic that he is, passed on the contagion to me without gloves, disinfectant, or a care in the world! I was surprised when he added to my tag the words "SkylersDad – Because I’ve always admired intelligence when it’s mixed with humility."

Obviously a cut and paste error on his part...

It proved to be a very difficult meme to write, because it required two things that I don't have; time to research or patience! You are simply to answer 7 questions about your posts, listing the different posts that meet the category. Now I have been at this a bit of a while, and have amassed 1347 posts. So this required me looking back a bit, because trying to rely on my aging and fuzzy brain is just not the way to go. I am not listing just one post, but a couple for each category. Not that I feel they all made the grade, but because I couldn't decide.

So here we go, strap in on tight as they say...

1. Your most beautiful post

Happy Veterans Day
I wrote this in remembrance of my only friend that I lost while serving in the Navy.

Amazing doesn't quite cut it
This is more visually beautiful, about seeing the show called Cavalia

What a Trip, and What a Wedding it Was
All about our trip to Glacier Washington for Kirstins wedding.

2. Your most popular post

Popular comes in many different ways, but let's break it down into a couple of categories:
Looking at pure numbers:
It's Clown Week!! 3148 views

Performance Review had 1924 views

Bad Tat Tuesday: Yeah, so I've had a lot going on.... 1370 views

The Mountain Goat. Natures Ninjas 734 views

But as far as the number of comments go, this one had the most. So lets call it popular.
I have already lost a friend today

3. Your most controversial post

This was a tough one, because it involved opening up my soul again. But here are 3:

The Wall
About Skyler's senior year and my bitching.

Skylers open letter to Barak Obama, if he could write it
This actually got a call from 9News to see if they could interview him. I had to decline because he can't answer interview questions.

What lies below the surface
The toughest admission I have ever made to you all, about my feelings when one of my friend’s son passed away

4. Your most helpful post

All the bat tat series, because if I can't entertain, at least I can serve as a warning to others.

May 30, 1975
Where I try and educate the young and non-runners about what Prefontain was all about.

Feedback from an old story of mine
From a guy who lost his parents in a story I posted about a local plane crash, which is listed under #7 below.

5. A post whose success surprised you

Sky-Dad Fact... Lion in sidecar.
A simple picture post that lots of people emailed me about and tagged me in posts.

The story of how Chris became Sky-Dad
I really didn't know that many people were interested.

6. A post you feel didn’t get the attention it deserved
2.4 Miles, 112 Miles, 26.2 Miles

Why I am an Olympics geek

Of the Olympics and Picabo
My posts on sports are usually met with a collective yawn.

Impossible is nothing
I thought it was a brilliant montage.

7. The post that you are most proud of
Goodbye old friend. Hootie: 1997-2009
There never was, nor will ever be a better animal.

A story from my past about the plane crash
Lot's of actual research went into this one.

Everyone uses the word, what's your problem
About why not to use the R-word.

I am not going to tag a bunch of people, they can do this if they like or not. But I would be interested in hearing from my old friend Johnny Yen on this...

Bad Tat Tuesday!

2011-09-27T09:32:00.000-06:00

Lots of wonderful friends out there who are sending in things that they find out on those internettubes, so here is to all of you out there. Keep 'em coming!

From Cindy, a very nice usage of the belly button.


From Shelleigh, this man is trying to get everything he loves all into one tat. try again...

From Mjenks, just a whole lot to love about this piece of... whatever this is. Ideas?

This whole series from the CHIVE was sent to me by none other than one of our favorite bloggers, The Veggie Assassin!

Mmmm, sweet sweet sundae.

He needs to add some felt to the antlers.

They're all cute and cuddly until someone looses a finger!

Perfect for those formal occasions.

So clever. Wouldn't your arm get tired?

Everything is better with bacon! Even bad tats.

Rawr indeed! Hat tip to the ladies canvas!

One question. Where is this tat located?

That is just disturbing.

Good work actually!

That is a whole lot of work on the back.

Great artwork, but gross!

Muppet fan.

Now this one I saved without a name who sent it to me, I apologize for that. But my fuzzy memory thinks it was Raine, in any case, thanks so much for thinking of me. I guess I was lost like Waldo.

Why hello there Murphy...

2011-09-20T11:27:00.001-06:00

I was all set to do a Bat Tat Tuesday post when events conspired against me and I had to share my tale of woe with you all.

We have been saving up for some much needed concrete work on the old homestead here, the driveway and sidewalks are all cracked and in need of replacement. So after my due diligence in selecting somebody that came with a good recommendation, I opted for the higher priced guy because I felt comfortable that he does good work. He is here this morning jack-hammering and tearing out all the old concrete, and the new driveway will be replaced soon. It was more than I thought I would have to pay, but that's OK when I get good work.

No problem there, cue Mr Murphy and his law now...

The colder days are coming here in Colorado, and I wanted to get in front of furnace maintenance this year and get it all cleaned out, filters replaced, blah blah. I do most of that myself, but this year after I did that work, I noticed that there was more of an ash type substance in the bottom of the furnace and a rivet that I don't know where it came from. No problem, I call the folks at a plumbing and heating place that I trust because they have worked here before.

He arrives and goes down into the basement and I show him what I found.

(cue wide eyes and a hmmmmm sound)

He pulls off the side panel to expose the inner workings of the beast and even I, with my untrained eye can see the crack running through the heat exchanger. I say that doesn't look right as he reaches up to shut everything off. Then comes the news that the unit is a complete loss, this model you can't replace the heat exchanger, and let's look at some brochures for new furnaces.

What the what? new? Yep, he had to "condemn" the furnace and tag it out of commision because if we turn it on in that condition it will likely leak CO2 all through the house.

Hello another monster bill, and away we go with another credit card purchase...

Sometimes life just sucks.

Fernando is moving on!

2011-09-15T16:26:00.001-06:00

As much as I have enjoyed having Fernando visit me, there comes a time when all good things must come to an end. Fernando has become restless and bored with the Sky-Dad way of life, and is longing for different scenery.

After an extensive review of the blog world, Fernando stumbled across these fine folks:

Look! They travel and look rather nice!

And they tagged Sky-Dad in this photo, so they get bonus points for that.

They appear to know how to have a good time.

This one wears gloves that are almost pink!

I have a lot in common with this guy!

Now to figure out which fantastic mode of travel to use... Train would be nice to see the country, or perhaps I can check out the hot stewardesses like Austin Powers!

Give it up Fernando, I don't think PSA has been around for quite some time.

I'm impressed also Fernando, but I really don't think you will see her in the air.

Oh give it up already!


That's right Pig, into the box with you...

Noooooooo!!!!

Fernando is winging his way to visit Cora, Eric, and Wednesday tomorrow, so wish him safe travels in his specially designed travel container...

Clearing the skies on September 11, 2001

2011-09-10T20:32:00.000-06:00

A lot of people will be writing about the events of September 11, 2001 today, and all of them will probably be much more well researched and thought out than this little web posting. Most people that I know have a much firmer grasp on world events than I do, and will undoubtedly dissect what we did, what we should have done, why we must never forget, and so forth.

As a matter of fact, I am sure it will be talked to death, until most everybody is sick of hearing it.

But I wanted to touch on a different event that happened that I may have just a bit more knowledge about than most. That was the unprecedented order to clear the airspace over the United States for the first time in history. Some of you may know that I was in the Navy right after high school, and my job among others was as an Anti-Submarine air controller. So I have a bit of practical knowledge about how difficult it is to keep machines traveling at high rates of speed from bumping into each other.

After the second jet hit the trade center, people in the control centers and towers started getting an idea that this wasn't just a highjacking. Everybody was getting little bits of information, and some of the planes up in the air started receiving bits of information over cockpit printouts.

Highjack warnings... Terrorist alerts... Lock down your flight decks were some of the cryptic readouts, but nobody had the whole situation.

At the FAA's command center, managers can think of only one way to stop them. Minutes after another jet smashes into the Pentagon at 9:38 a.m., the managers issue an unprecedented order to the nation's air traffic controllers:

Empty the skies.

Land every flight.

Fast.

Nobody has ever planned for this. There isn't a procedure for it, let alone a hint of how to accomplish it. An air traffic control system can sometimes be overwhelmed by just a storm front that everyone has to steer around, but this? this seems impossible.

Almost 4,500 planes will have to land within hours, many at airports hundreds of miles from where they were headed. Rerouting so many flights seems a logistical nightmare with no margin for error.

And no one knows how many terrorists might still be in the air. During these hours, those who run the nation's aviation system will come to believe as many as 11 flights have been hijacked.

The first call comes from American flight 11, via a flight attendant who can't reach her cockpit crew. The local controllers aren't sure what to make of this and check to make sure there is even a flight attendant by her name on board. There is, and then after that the controllers hear a strange accent through an open mike aboard the aircraft. "We have some planes," he says "Just stay quiet and you will be OK."

At the FAA command center in Herndon, they here the transmission. "We have some planes", but everybody listening doesn't know how many or for what.

Flight 11 is now off the air, but is descending into New York, Not into JFK or LaGuardia or Newark International Airport but into the city itself. At Newark's tower, just across the Hudson River from Manhattan, controller Rick Tepper, 41, stands at a console behind a group of other controllers. he sees flames shooting up from the world trade center, but doesn't know what caused it. He immediately asks everyone in the room, "Did you loose anybody" a number of times. Then the shout line (a sort of hot line for controllers in the region) rings. He picks it up and the new york center says we lost an aircraft over Manhattan, can you see it? He answers no, but the trade center is on fire.

At United Airlines headquarters outside Chicago, Andy Studdert rushes to the airline's crisis center, a windowless room with a large screen on one wall. To those who work there, the room resembles the bridge on the Starship Enterprise. "This is not a drill!" he shouts, but the staff already knows. The team there tells him even worse news, controllers have lost radio contact with a second flight - a United jet that, like American Flight 11, took off from Boston bound for Las Angeles. On the giant screen at the front of the room, airline workers can only watch as United Flight 175, northwest of New York, heads toward Manhattan. Then it disappears.

In the Newark tower, the shout line rings again.

Where's United Flight 175? "Can you see him out the window?" the caller asks Tepper, the Newark controller.

Beyond the New Jersey shipyards, Tepper spots the jet flying north, up the Hudson River. His eyes track it toward the Manhattan skyline. It's moving fast. Too fast. And rocking. Its nose points down in a dive and now it's banking left and then right and moving as Tepper has never seen a jet move and then it starts to level and ....

"Oh my God! He just hit the building," Tepper tells the caller.

At that point, these two men declare ATC zero, which means clear the skies. In the past that meant have everyone orbit while we figure out a technical glitch, now it means land everything.

At the FAA's command center in Herndon, attention shifts from the weather maps and the radar displays to a new focus, a dry-erase board propped at the front of the room. On it, staffers have begun to scribble the call letters of every flight that controllers around the nation fear might be in the hands of hijackers. People from every discipline are called into the room to help sort things out, from weather specialists to backup air controllers. Everyone is listening in a phone calls, and more importantly, radio traffic. There are a few key calls that a pilot can make when under duress that mean something to the controllers. And all ears are tuned for even the slightest sound of a pilot that just doesn't seem right.

The first step that is taken is ground all aircraft that were preparing to take off. Anything that wasn't in the air went back to the gate, or back to the garage if it was cargo. Nothing had permission to take off.

It is 9:25 AM, and there are 4,452 aircraft in the air.

Over land, the job start immediately. You can see everybody on radar, and talk to them. But the New York controllers face a different task. Their concern lies with the huge number of aircraft that have already left Europe and are heading to the east coast. they are out of radar range, and voice communications with them is never certain. HF radio is highly unreliable, and most of the time positions of those aircraft are estimated.

Then American Flight 77 fails to respond. A report comes from a controller at Washington Dulles International Airport. She has a jet on radar, heading toward Washington and without a transponder signal to identify it. It's flying fast, she says: almost 500 mph.

The FAA warns the Secret Service. Fighter jets from Langley Air Force Base in Virginia race toward Washington. They won't get there in time. The jet has hit the Pentagon. The time: 9:38 a.m.

The FAA widens the order now, anything that can fly, commercial, private, piper cub or helicopter is ordered to the ground.

9:45 a.m.: 3,949 planes in the air.

Pilots are all starting to take the situation serious. Aboard United Flight 890 over the Pacific, Capt. Hosking and another pilot, Doug Price, wait anxiously for news. The message about the hijackings arrived only minutes ago, but the two already have decided: Hijackers are aboard their flight. Quickly, they wedge their bags between a jump seat and the flimsy cockpit door. The door opens inward and, with the suitcases there, no one can budge it. Not without a lot of effort.

And if someone does manage to get through the cockpit door?

Price will be waiting as Hosking flies the jet. He has the cockpit's hatchet-sized crash ax in hand, along with orders to use it.

"If someone tries to come in that door, I don't want you to hurt him," Hosking says. "Kill him."

At the Federal Aviation Administration's command center in Herndon, Va., Delta Flight 1989 joins a growing list of suspicious jets. Some of their flight numbers will be scrawled on a white dry-erase board throughout the morning. Eventually, the list will grow to 11.

During the frantic hours after the order to ground the fleet is issued, controllers will reroute at least 1,300 flights. They will land 48 planes, on average, each minute. Another hijacked jet will crash in Pennsylvania after passengers fight terrorists who took over the jet. A SWAT team will await the landing of another.

9:45 a.m. ET: 3,949 planes in the air.

Aboard American Flight 71, now over Greenland, the captain tells flight attendants to gather steak knives from first class. The knives seem hopelessly inadequate, especially if hijackers have guns, but what choice do they have? They were headed to Chicago, but are now diverted to Toronto.

9:55 a.m. : 3,520 planes in the air.

From aboard United Flight 93, a handful of passengers contact family and friends by cell phone. What they learn - that three jets have already been hijacked and crashed into buildings - will prompt one of the most heroic efforts of the day. Within moments, they will rush the cockpit to try to regain control of the jet.

10:05 a.m. : 2,985 planes in the air.

At United Airline's crisis center, a solitary blip glows red on a big screen. it is United Flight 93 with Air Force jets approaching it rapidly. What will they do? order it shot down if it doesn't answer? A black column of smoke rises from a field due south of the airport, near the town of Shanksville as the Air Force jets arrive. Nobody had to make that decision.

10:30 a.m. : 1,505 planes in the air.

Halifax in Nova Scotia is a relatively small airport, but has a runway that is jumbo rated, meaning it can handle the large aircraft coming from over the Atlantic. It is the first airport that can be used by an aircraft coming from that direction, and as such start receiving more traffic than anybody had possible imagined. The orders were simple, land and taxi as far away from the terminal as possible to make room for others, then shut down. We will come and get you when we can. It is one of the true good stories that came out of that day, as people from the town volunteered to come out, pick up passengers and take them to their homes, because the airport was overwhelmed with passengers.

10:45 a.m. : 1,081 planes in the air.

At O'Hare in Chicago, workers stand ready to set up 2,000 cots set aside for travelers stranded during snowstorms. Outside, along the airport's edges, O'Hare's 187 snowplows are deployed as roadblocks. They encircle the base of the control tower, their blades pointed toward anything that might approach.

11 a.m. : 923 planes in the air.

Throughout the morning, the FAA slowly checks off the list of suspicious aircraft one by one. The Herndon command center for once reports good news. Every commercial flight in U.S. airspace - about a quarter of the planes still in the air - is within 40 miles of its destination. The others are still over the oceans, and many are heading toward Canada. But at least all the flights over the United States are accounted for and complying with controllers.

11:30 a.m. : 758 planes in the air.

Then a report comes in from Georgia of a serious car accident. The pilot of a rescue helicopter is begging for permission to pick up someone who is critically injured. All morning they have refused to make exceptions, even ordering an aircraft with Attorney General John Ashcroft, who was heading to Washington, to land. Permission is given to launch the helicopter, they decide there has been enough death this day.

Noon : 669 planes in the air.

There are a couple of things that helped on this morning, one was that the skies across the entire USA were nearly clear of any kind of weather. The second is that the events took place early enough that the west coast traffic had yet to really begin to take to the skies.

On a normal day, about 20 aircraft each hour are rerouted to new destinations because of emergencies or bad weather. On Sept. 11, controllers rerouted more than 1,100 flights in the first 15 minutes after the order to land the fleet was issued at 9:45 a.m. — more than one every second.

In all, about 3,300 commercial and 1,200 private planes were ordered to land by U.S. and Canadian authorities that day. Almost 75% of those planes landed within just 60 minutes of the 9:45 order. Canadian controllers and airport managers cleared space in small airports north of the U.S. border for 252 jets arriving from Europe and Asia.

In his patch of airspace east of Los Angeles that morning, controller Brian Carver faced a typical dilemma.

One of the biggest airports in the country lay just a few miles away, but landings there were halted for security at the same time the FAA ordered the planes grounded. Carver put several flights into holding patterns. Soon, he found, all the area's smaller airports became overwhelmed by the unexpected traffic.

Within minutes, air traffic officials reconsidered the order closing the airport. Considering the airport's four long runways, the move made sense. Ten minutes later, Carver had redirected the flights and his airspace was empty.

At many big airports, such as Boston, Chicago, Atlanta and Dallas, controllers followed a similar strategy: Let the closest planes headed to those airports land there, even if they passed over smaller airports. Redirecting more than a few of those flights would have taken longer than simply allowing jets to continue. This strategy allowed hundreds of aircraft to land within minutes.

For hundreds of other aircraft, it didn't prove nearly so simple.

Over the Mississippi River valley between Tennessee and Arkansas — a busy corridor in the nation's midsection — controllers at Memphis Center were saturated. Memphis Center is an air traffic facility that handles mostly long-range flights passing through, rather than bound for, that area.

Controllers at the center, used to making sure that flights are on their proper course, suddenly had to redirect more than 100 jets to area airports. As a result, one of the controllers' few options was to land jets at Memphis International Airport. Luckily, it has a lot of unused capacity. The airport is a bustling FedEx hub at night but relatively quiet during the day. Controllers rerouted 45 jets there, more than double the normal arrivals for that time of the morning. But one thing Memphis has is ground space, and they used it all up.

Despite occasional confusion and problems throughout the day, controllers never once reported bringing planes too close together.

In all, 2,868 planes landed during the hour from 9:45 a.m., when the order to land all the planes went out, to 10:45 a.m.

During that same time, United landed 154 jets, about 83% of its flights in the air at 9:45 a.m. American landed 169 of its planes, or about 73%.

By 12:16 p.m., U.S. airspace was clear except for military and emergency flights. Only a few transoceanic flights were still landing in Canada.

In the months that followed, the FAA beefed up communications and mandated swifter reporting of any suspicious activity by aircraft.

Officials decided not to write a new set of procedures for clearing the skies. They started to but scrapped the idea. They concluded that the FAA was better off relying on the judgment of its controllers and managers.

"A lot of things were done intuitively, things that you can't write down in a textbook or you can't train somebody to do," said Frank Hatfield, the FAA's eastern region chief.

A lot of people did their jobs very, very well that day.

If you want some more information or graphics, this is a nice resource:
http://www.usatoday.com/graphics/news/gra/gclearskies/flash.htm

Lots of resources went into this, USA today, Discovery Channel, and the report on ATC activities released by the FAA.

Where's That Pig?

2011-09-07T11:37:00.000-06:00

I have been a very bad host to our porcine friend that has been visiting me for way too long now. Yes, it's true, I have just been sitting on poor Fernando... wait, that didn't come out right, I haven't actually been sitting on him, just not doing anything with him...

Still not coming out real well here, I don't "do" things with Fernando, that would be wrong, but I should be entertaining him more...

Gaaaa! Re-start!

Fernando came to visit almost a year ago, and I have not been very good at playing the role of host. He has traveled a bit here and there with me, but I always wanted to take him on a great hike up one of Colorado's 14'ers, just so he could say that he had been that high. Without prescription grade pharmaceuticals that is.

But with the schedule that I live these days, between working my ass off to keep my job and taking care of Skyler, there has never been enough time. So over Labor day weekend, I made plans to at least get Fernando up to Rocky Mountain National Park to see what Colorado is really all about.

So early Monday morning, at the buttcrack of 4AM, Sky-Dad rolled out and headed up to the mountains. We drove up through Estes Park and up to the top of Trail Ridge road to watch the sun come up. I parked at the Rock Cut, and hiked up the trail to the top to get up as high as I could for sunrise. Just me, Fernando, a few deer and Pikas. It was awesome!

Here are some pictures:

Then there is video, just because you need to hear the early morning wind along with the 33 degrees...

Fernando got out to check things out, but he was cold.

So after spending some time up at the top, I headed back down into the park to take the hiking trail that goes past four lakes. Along the way, Fernando wanted to get out and look around:

After driving up to the trail head at Bear Lake, we packed up and headed up the trail. It passes Bear Lake, then Nymph Lake, then Dream Lake, and then ends at Turquoise Lake.

I was still hitting the trail head pretty early, about 7:30 or so, so I didn't have many people to deal with along the way.

First stop, Bear Lake:

Fernando pauses to edumacate himself on the terrain...

He says we are ready to go!

Bear lake has lots of people around it because it is only about 1/4 of a mile from the parking lot, on to Nymph Lake.

Nymph Lake is known for the amount of Lilly's that hang around on the top.

Next up we climbed quite a ways to Dream Lake. Dream Lake provides your first really good view of Mount Hallet.

After passing Dream lake we make our way to the top of the trailhead where Turquoise lake is. This is the deepest of the 4 lakes.

What's that you say? This post isn't becoming too long and tedious? Well then how about some video?

And of course, a feature appearance by Fernando!

Be sure to stay tuned to these airwaves for a major announcement about Fernando's next destination!!

March of Shame

2011-09-03T11:25:00.001-06:00

This is so damn funny!I love the narration like Morgan Freeman.

What's that you say? More craptastic posts?

2011-08-30T18:59:00.000-06:00

I know that everyone is busy and that you fine readers all hear the tales of "Too busy to blog", "My house was washed out to sea", "The dog ate my wireless access point and now I have to keep my laptop with 6 inches of his ass"... You know, all those typical lame excuses for not blogging on a regular basis.

Well my excuse is the best, because it is work related. The man has been keeping my nose to the grindstone lately, and after a 13% reduction in the staff here at Networks R Us, I have never been so damn happy in my life to have too much work to do.

But all work and no play makes Sky-Dad a dull whatever the hell he is, so along the way I collect odds and ends that are sure to tickle your funny bone, or wherever that ticklish place is on your body. It's all a mishmash of random thoughts, scary and twisted, much like me. So strap in tight and keep those arms and legs inside the ride at all times.

Let's start with the weirdest short video I have come across in some time:

Now what the hell was that all about?

Moving on to more demotivators, cause I just can't get enough of these bad boys:

Yeah, I've had that problem quite a few times...

Some day I want to be in the credits as special guest appearance.

I've never had a regret that big.

Sent this one right over to Gwen!

This one was for the Captain.

And some more random stuff for you!

That's it for now, enjoy yourselves folks!

Bad Tat Tuesday!

2011-08-22T21:37:00.000-06:00

It's that time again, when we all sit and stare at the ink and wonder why, why, why?

Please tell me this isn't somebodies fantasy of Palin...

They get a few bonus points just for having a Futurama theme.

R2D2...Forever young? What am I missing here?

That's nice and pervy, wear it with pride!

Superhero collection like no other, wow... just wow...

And the best for last. Goofy dragon that looks like it might be playing with itself, on a canvas that is pretty bad also.

Portia says she is sorry

2011-08-17T12:21:00.000-06:00

I saw that yesterday was Ellen and Portia's wedding anniversary. So it only seems fitting that one of them should have to apologize...

Portia De Rossi Apologizes for Marrying Ellen DeGeneres - watch more funny videos

Two Bags

2011-08-13T16:57:00.000-06:00

For those of you who also know me over on Facebook, you are already aware that we lost our beloved Chocolate lab, Montana, to cancer on Friday. She was pretty old, 12 or 13 as near as we know, and had arthritis really bad. So we took her in to have her liver checked with an ultrasound to make sure the pain meds were not causing liver problems.

We knew there was a problem when the lab tech said let me go get the doctor to come talk to you. Anyway, there were tumors all over her liver, in her lungs, and in her pancreas.

So, we brought her home and spent the next couple of weeks spoiling her horribly. She went downhill very fast, losing 15 pounds in that short time. When she was having trouble getting up and breathing hard, it was time for that final trip to the vet.

Here are the pictures I shared on Facebook:

You came to us late in your life, a well behaved lady.

With a love for tennis balls.

And a love for water and eating grass.

You took your job as Skylers buddy seriously.

You loved to help.

You didn't complain (much) when we made fun of your lack of swimming ability!

You were always ready to go for a ride to the dog park.

Towards the end it was too hard to sit up though...

We were happy to spoil you rotten.

You were a good couch-mate.

Your favorite exercise was mommy doing situps.

Goodbye my friend, I loved you a lot.

Honestly, I held it together pretty well throughout this whole time. I knew we gave her a good life, and that it was time for her to go. It was just the right decision, so I was good with it.

Then this morning, at the dog park, Yordi ran up to another Chocolate lab wagging his tale, then turned and walked away when he saw it wasn't her.

That chipped at the armor a bit.

Then he pooped and I went to pick it up, I reached into my pocket and pulled out two bags. I realized I didn't need two bags anymore, and that was what pushed me over the edge. I knelt there petting Yordi and crying with my stupid poop bags in hand.

Something as silly as two bags in hand finally caved me in.

Instructional Moments

2011-08-11T16:13:00.000-06:00

Sometimes they come to us in a message over the phone, or an email, or we just stumble across them. Other times we hang onto them and pass them on to our friends.

In any case, they are always good blog material...

Bad Tat Tuesday!

2011-08-09T02:00:00.000-06:00

I figured as long as I keep finding them, you get to keep looking at them! More submissions from some of my bloggy friends out there, thank to you all.

From The Real Johnson, remember kids, spelling counts!

The Sci-Fi geek in me likes this, but come on. AT-AT's with roses?

The submitter wanted to remain anonymous, but this is pyre brilliance!

From a local sports show celeb! Hey, I am one degree from somewhat famous!!
I don't care how much he is revered around Colorado, there is no need for a complete leg tat of Elway.

This wasn't submitted, Ellen doesn't have time for crap like this. But she ran a picture of a fan who got a Dori tat because she loves Ellen. Kinda cute actually.

You think you know somebody...

2011-08-02T18:44:00.002-06:00

I am sure you have all been waiting breathlessly by your TV and/or old time stand up radio for the news of whether or not we will raise the debt roof, or loanin ceiling, or whatever the hell it is.

What? You haven't? (crosses arms and makes tsk tsk sound)

Actually, I haven't either. But I have read a few things about some of the items that are being written into the big deal, and one of the things that is most near and dear to me is medicaid benefits. You see, Skyler gets a bit of money from medicaid, it is to help offset the cost of a number of things that are not covered by my insurance. Things like equipment, prescriptions, therapy, you know, all that wasteful spending.

One of the guys I used to work with is on facebook, and has been going crazy about all of the spending that the US is doing, throwing money down the toilet at those slackers who are out there just sucking off the teat of the government. I don't like talking politics much at all, but felt inclined to bring up that there are only a few that abuse the system, and most people really need the help that they get.

He went ballistic. Told me that the only people who get medicaid are those that are too lazy to work for a living. I will spare you the rest of the "in my day we pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps rant..."

When I mentioned my son, and that he received medicaid, he questioned why he gets it, and how come I don't take care of him. I was pretty pissed off, and let him know that in fact I DO take care of my son. I tried explaining what we received, which isn't a lot of money, and what it was used for, when he said that I am part of the problem.

You can't argue with stupid, they drag you down into the gutter with them. needless to say he was immediately un-friended, and you know what? that kind of feels good. I wish I could do that to some of the people I meet in the store and other places out in public that question me.

Yeah, get to work on that app, will you facebook people?

Let's Get De-Motivated!!

2011-07-31T14:41:00.004-06:00

I don't know why, but I just love the demotivator posters floating around the internettubes. Some are a complete waste, but I can usually find a bit funny about most that I see.

Lately, there have been quite a few that have come my way, that of course I just have to share with you all...

Is it too late for another edition of Bad Tat Tuesday?

2011-07-26T17:59:00.002-06:00

For those 5 or 6 readers who still stop by this little neck of the intertubes woods, Bad Tat Tuesday used to be a regular feature around here. Well, I have some great electronic friends who have still been sending me some great ink, so here is a shout out to Flannery Alden, Lily, Raine, and the Captain himself for sending me some great stuff!

Thanks folks, here we go!

This one looks so creepy that it might be part ink and part alive!

Oh sweet jebuz, this one will live on for weeks in my nightmares.

Hey, for those of you who can't afford your own notepad, here is a swell idea!

My own find, and possibly one of the few tats that I would consider getting. The LincolnBorg.

read the text below this one, all about the irony here.

Nothing says klassy like a penis dripping cum!

Pac Man enthusiast!

She's a bounty hunter...

His Name Was Reggie

2011-07-21T16:13:00.004-06:00

My friend that I workout with in the mornings, and fellow dog lover, sent this to me today. I can't vouch for the authenticity, but it sounds sincere. And I have not stopped crying since I got it.
I hope you enjoy it, it has a good ending.
=================================================================

They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie, as I looked at him lying in his pen. The shelter was clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly. I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open. Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to.

And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local news. The shelter said they had received numerous calls right after, but they said the people who had come down to see him just didn't look like "Lab people," whatever that meant.

They must've thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things, which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis balls, his dishes and a sealed letter from his previous owner.

See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home).

Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too. Maybe we were too much alike. For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls --- he wouldn't go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes. I guess I didn't really think he'd need all his old stuff, that I'd get him new things once he settled in. But it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn't going to.

I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like "sit" and "stay" and "come" and "heel," and he'd follow them - when he felt like it. He never really seemed to listen when I called his name --- sure, he'd look in my direction after the fourth or fifth time I said it, but then he'd just go back to doing whatever. When I'd ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.

This just wasn't going to work. He chewed up a couple of shoes and some unpacked boxes. I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell. The friction got so bad that I couldn't wait for the two weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in ‘full-on’ search mode for my cell phone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the "damn dog probably hid it on me."

Finally, I found it, but before I could punch up the shelter's number, I also found his pad and other toys from the shelter. I tossed the pad in Reggie's direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most enthusiasm I'd seen since bringing him home.

But then I called, "Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come here and I'll give you a treat."

Instead, he sort of glanced in my direction – maybe "glared" is more accurate – and then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down ... with his back to me. Well, that's not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number.

But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope. I had completely forgotten about that, too. "Okay, Reggie," I said out loud, "let's see if your previous owner has any advice."

To Whoever Gets My Dog:

Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter could only be opened by Reggie's new owner. I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this, it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab after dropping him off at the shelter.

He knew something was different.

I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip, but this time... it's like he knew something was wrong. And something is wrong...which is why I have to try to make it right. So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls.

The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in there. Hasn't done it yet.

Doesn't matter where you throw them, he'll bound after them, so be careful. Don't do it by any roads. I made that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.

Next, commands.

Maybe the shelter staff already told you, but I'll go over them again:

Reggie knows the obvious ones ---"sit," "stay," "come," "heel."

He knows hand signals, too: "back" to turn around and go back when you put your hand straight up; and "over" if you put your hand out right or left.

"Shake" for shaking water off, and "paw" for a high-five. He does "down" when he feels like lying down --- I bet you could work on that with him some more.

He knows"ball" and "food" and "bone" and "treat" like nobody's business. I trained Reggie with small food treats. Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.

Feeding schedule: twice a day, once about seven in the morning, and again at six in the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter has the brand.

He's up on his shots. Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with yours; they'll make sure to send you reminders for when he's due.

Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet. Good luck getting him in the car. I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time. I've never been married, so it's only been Reggie and me for his whole life.

He's gone everywhere with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he doesn't bark or complain.

He just loves to be around people, and me most especially. Which means that this transition is going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new.

And that's why I need to share one more bit of info with you....

His name's not Reggie.

I don't know what made me do it, but when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them his name was Reggie.

He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it and will respond to it, of that I have no doubt. But I just couldn't bear to give them his real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting that I'd never see him again. And if I end up coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it means everything's fine.

But if someone else is reading it, well ... well it means that his new owner should know his real name. It'll help you bond with him. Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change in his demeanor if he's been giving you problems.

His real name is "Tank.”

Because, that is what I drive.

Again, if you're reading this and you're from the area, maybe my name has been on the news. I told the shelter that they couldn't make"Reggie" available for adoption until they received word from my company commander.

You see, my parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've left Tank with ... and it was my only real request of the Army upon my deployment to Iraq , that they make one phone call the shelter ... in the "event" ... to tell them that Tank could be put up for adoption.

Luckily, my colonel is a dog-guy, too, and he knew where my platoon was headed. He said he'd do it personally. And if you're reading this, then he made good on his word. Well, this letter is getting downright depressing, even though, frankly, I'm just writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I was writing it for a wife and kids and family ... but still, Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as long as the Army has been my family.

And now I hope and pray that you make him part of your family, too, and that he will adjust and come to love you the same way he loved me.

That unconditional love from a dog is what I take with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do something selfless, to protect innocent people from those who would do terrible things ... and to keep those terrible people from coming to the U.S. If I have to give up Tank in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He is my example of service and of love.

I hope I honored him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that's enough.

I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at the shelter.

I don't think I'll say another good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first time. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home, and give him an extra kiss goodnight – every night – from me.

Thank you,
Paul Mallory

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope. Sure, I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even new people like me.

Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and posthumously earning the Silver Star when he gave his life to save three buddies. Flags had been at half-mast all summer. I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.

The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

"C'mere boy."

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months.

"Tank," I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried my face into his scruff and hugged him.

"It's me now, Tank, just you and me. Your old pal gave you to me."

Tank reached up and licked my cheek.

"So whatdaya say we play some ball?"

His ears perked again.

"Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?"

Tank tore from my hands and disappeared into the next room.

And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.

Monday Morning Hitting To All Fields

2011-07-11T10:17:00.005-06:00

Hi there boys and girls! How is everybody doing today? Uh huh. Uh huh. (nods head up and down). Well that's great, glad to hear that everyone else is doing just as poor as I am!

Lately it has been 1 step forward 2 steps back at the very least. Lets recap, shall we?

I was emptying the dishwasher the other day and had a stack of plates in my hands as I spun around. My wife had come up behind me without my noticing and I tried to move quickly to the side out of her way. My leg hit the washer door and didn't move, then I lost balance and went down over the dishwasher door. I landed so had I bent a broiler pan, and crumpled the sides of the dishwasher from the force on the door.

I was amazed I was OK because I fell across all the silverware and no part of me was shanked!

My wife was pretty concerned though, "Look what you did to the dishwasher!" was her first instinct, I could feel the love. It was almost like a Lifetime movie.

So we went and bought the same model of dishwasher since this one was only about a year and a half old, and that would make for easy replacement. No such luck, they changed the water connection from female to male underneath. Back to Lowes for more connectors...

We have had a lot of bad weather lately, and we lost the top of a silver maple tree in our backyard. Lots of branches down, but this was a pretty big limb out of the tree:

But the backyard is cleaned up now and I have the limbs all cut up and out of the way.

I took my Volvo wagon in for a mysterious message "Service your engine" that was popping up randomly and as it did that it would kind of hesitate while accelerating. The diagnostic came back as a throttle problem that was a recall I had missed by, wait for it, 2 months! That's right, what would have been a free fix they now want around 900 bills for.

I told them to skip it, I will wait for it to fail horribly before I have to drop that kind of cash. When I asked why so much, the guy explained that it is an electronic module that tells the engine where the gas pedal is at.

Whaaaaat? My fucking car is fly-by-wire...

So I decided I needed some humor in my life, and went through the old blog fodder folder to share a few things. So here you go my little blogger buddies, enjoy!

I must be the worst general in the world!

2011-07-07T12:17:00.001-06:00

I've sent billions and billions into battle and only had a couple of victories...

Dave Allen on sperm, funny, funny stuff.

Road Trip!

2011-07-03T09:03:00.007-06:00

Last week, in a preemptive strike against the 4th of July idiots, we headed out of town to the mountains to cool off. In the past we have tried to head over to Glenwood Springs for a couple of days each summer. Skyler likes hanging out in the huge hot springs pool, and we all just relax a bit. But this year we went further west to the far northwest corner of Colo to Steamboat Springs. Why you ask? Well that is a pretty funny story.

Skyler has been seeing the same Physical Therapist his whole life. Her name is Mindy and she is great. Mindy makes some extra money by taking on PT students who are in their last year of school, and they shadow her for a semester to get real life skills. Some students are OK, and others you can tell are going to be great. She had a student named Danni that Skyler absolutely loved. He was really taken by her. So awhile back was the end of her rotation and she said bye to Skyler and he was bummed. I asked her where she was going next and she told us that her next gig was to work the summer at Yampa Valley medical summer as a PT helping out. That is in Steamboat Springs.

As soon as we got Skyler back into his chair and had his communications device in front of him, he spelled out "No Glenwood Steamboat". I thought "You little stalker you"! (just like his dad only without night vision goggles...

So we got Danni's phone number and called to make some arrangements to have coffee with her while we stayed for 3 days over in Steamboat and had fun. Here is Danni:

We basically hung out in the hot springs and went for a lot of walks. It was nice, but the elevation at Steamboat isn't that high, so we were still pretty warm up there. It reached 90 one day!

This is the ski jump hill, which is one of the oldest in the USA.

Looking west from the hotel.

Mount Werner, where the ski mountain is.

The Yampa valley.

The Gore range driving over.

Mom saves the day with Ice Cream!

Walking the paths, this is a bridge over the Yampa river.

The river was way high from the runoff, so most of the underpasses were closed.

The hot springs pool.

The slides were way fun!

Tips on how to shower with that special someone

2011-06-23T11:00:00.000-06:00

Oh College Humor how I love you so!

I know this is turning into all video filler, but things are just fucking crazed around here. Work wants me to work (bastards) and Skyler has needed a lot of attention.

So, you get what you get...

Need a Divorce?

2011-06-21T14:07:00.002-06:00

I'm not in the market for a divorce myself, but if I were, this is the guy I would hire!

Impossible Motions

2011-06-18T14:09:00.001-06:00

Attention! This video is best viewed on acid, or under the effect of some form of mushrooms.

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.

2011-06-12T19:24:00.009-06:00

I don't believe that I have ever told you all about my very talented brother-in-law Steven. He married the next oldest of the Anderson girls (Kathy is the youngest, Karen the middle, and Kris the oldest). Steven is a really smart guy, a programmer for an insurance company. But Steven is also passionate about music. He plays a lot of different instruments, and has been in a number of different bands in his life.

When Steven and Karen moved out to the country outside of Seattle, Steven decided to build a recording studio. It started in his garage, but soon the plans for it's own building were underway. And what a place it is! I scanned a couple of images from one of his old brochures:

And just a few more shots:

Steven has been recording a lot of people lately, some of them are big names locally, but mostly he has been doing a lot of work for the local school and struggling artists because he is a really nice guy like that. There was a group that came by to get recorded that Steven was saying was really good. They are called BOWI, and they did a concert for their friends and friends of Steven today as a thank you for their CD release that Steven did for them.

Here are some quick shots I stole from Stevens Facebook page for his studio:

Steven at the helm of the starship TopOfTheHill...

They have a good sound, and on Steven's Facebook page for the studio https://www.facebook.com/?sk=nf#!/pages/Top-of-the-Hill-Music/292071827709
he says this:
One of the things I was looking forward most was when the crowd sings along to the last two choruses of "Rolling Home to Caladonia". Here is the feed from the stereo ribbon mike I had up near the stage.
Here is a quick link to the audience singing along

I look forward to hearing some more from them, and to hear their CD.

This whole thing got me to thinking about the days before Skyler, when Kathy and I got to go to concerts and such, and I was thinking about audience participation and singing at concerts.

What was your best moment at a concert when the audience really got into it?

For me it is a no brainer, it was always seeing Dan Fogleberg and his tradition of closing his show with "There's a place in the world for a gambler". He died after battling prostate cancer for three years in 2007 at 56 years old. I probably saw him more than any other artist, mostly because I loved his music, and partly because he never missed an opportunity to play at Red Rocks here in Colorado.

My second best would have to be the Indigo Girls when we saw them before they really got popular at a small venue here in Denver. They loved playing off of requests then, and they did an absolutely wonderful version of The Youngbloods - Get Together that night to close the show.

So what stands out for all of you as a great concert sing-a-long moment?

Awkward Photo Moments

2011-06-11T21:27:00.003-06:00

We have all had those photos that we wanted to forget were ever taken of us, but I think that this might be one of the best I have ever seen.

Take another look. She isn't naked and hiding behind her friend. That is her friends chunky arm that is making her look naked!

Fathers Day is Coming!

2011-06-06T16:13:00.004-06:00

I know you are all probably racking your brain with what to get me for this years gift. Not that I didn't appreciate the Golden Girls pinup calendar or the giant cardboard AARP card...

But this year I can tell you all need some hints on what the manly man is looking for this season.

Why are you still going to THAT sperm bank?

2011-06-02T18:49:00.001-06:00

Oh hell yes I laughed! I loved the guy paying for his date...

Remember the reason for the extra day off.

2011-05-29T21:31:00.001-06:00

Here is a hint: It is not so you can get never before seen prices on a mattress...

Diamond Dave has madd skillz

2011-05-28T08:52:00.003-06:00

My friend Keith found this and I stole it for Facebook. But it really deserves a longer amount of coverage, so enjoy folks.

It's Mr. T's world, we all just live here.

2011-05-25T10:36:00.004-06:00

I was cleaning up the dark, dusty corners of the laptop when lo and behold I came across a folder simply called "pity".

I was sure it meant something quite profound and was all prepared for a post dedicated to my feelings and such.

Imagine my surprise when I opened it up and found this collection:

Have You Considered a Career in Modeling?

2011-05-23T14:18:00.002-06:00

From the fine people at Found Footage Festival, comes this wonderful piece of pure genius!

Remember, it's how you hold the bottle, and imagery sells the jeans!

Still Here?

2011-05-21T16:42:00.003-06:00

He he he...

What's worse than the people of Walmart?

2011-05-18T21:23:00.004-06:00

This collection of fine human specimens that my friend jack sent to me.

Go ahead, breathe it all in, I'll wait...

There you go, now don't you feel better about seeing all those people of Walmart pictures?

Your welcome, it's just one of my many services.

My Own Little Hole In The Ozone

2011-05-16T12:35:00.002-06:00

I made a quick run to the local grocery store the other day to pick up a few items that we had forgot in our last big store run. Actually, we can't seem to go a day without going back to pick up something we forgot, but being brain dead is a post for another day ( if I remember to post about it).

So with my few items in hand I went through the regular line instead of the express or self check because it wasn't busy and the nice lady I know was waiting for somebody to check out. I have know this checker for a long time, she always says hi to Skyler and her kids went to the same school.

So as I got out my card to pay the new young chick who was bagging asked if I had my own bags. I said no, plastic would be fine. Then she asked if I would prefer a paper bag, to which I answered no, we use the plastic bags at home.

(side note to everyone out there, we use the plastic bags for Skylers diapers. I know that they are bad, but a weeks worth of crappy adult diapers in the can outside would cause the neighbors to assemble with pitchforks and torches)

So anywhodles, that was twice I answered no and asked for plastic. This is when the young eco-nazi sprung into action to attempt to educate me in my nefarious ways. She proceded to let me know all the harm the plastic bags do to the environment (I know) and then the kicker came... "And YOUR generation are the ones screwing things up for the rest of us"!

My first instinct was to grab her by her nose ring and pull her the wrong way along the conveyor belt, but I stayed calm. My friend the checker was turning to tell her (I presume) to shut up and do her job, but I said that's OK, she is right. They are bad for the environment. So I started to tell her what I use them for, and that I do a lot of other things to try and help the planet, hoping that maybe she could see that sometimes life isn't so black and white.

She interrupted me in the middle of my explanation to tell me that there is no acceptable reason to use a plastic bag.

I was kind of ready for this by now, so I told her that she seemed like somebody who truly cares about the environment, and I respect that. I told her I would make a deal with her (voice raising) if you come over to my house and change my sons diaper for one week, just one damn week, I would commit to never using a plastic bag again.

Store manager approaches as my checker friend is giggling to her self and the eco-nazi bag girl gets pulled away, and end scene. I never got her answer, just a stare.

So I have been going over this in my head since then, and I drive a fuel efficient car, don't waste water, and always recycle everything I can.

Am I such a horrible person for using plastic bags?

This one got to me yesterday

2011-05-15T08:47:00.003-06:00

This story was passed on to me from a friend, who in turn got it from Chicken Soup for the Soul. It hit me pretty hard, and made me realize I need to start thinking more about the good things that happen day to day instead of worrying all the time about my job, my son, and a number of other things.

I hope you enjoy it also.

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday morning. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whomever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.

"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital." He continued, "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles."

"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.

Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3,900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.

It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail," he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1,000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.

Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.

There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.

Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.

It was nice to meet you, Tom. I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 year old man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"

You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.

Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."

"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out?

I need to buy some marbles."

For Those Of You Too Young To Remember The 60's

2011-05-11T15:25:00.000-06:00

For all of you who remember being there....
and for those of you who are too young and weren't there -
but sometimes wish you had been...

Remember the words from the song...

"Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing"

Have you ever wondered what happened to all those really cute and crazy, good looking, barefoot, young hippie chicks?

who didn't wear bra's did drugs, smoked weed, got tattooed?

and shagged every guy they met during that great Age of Aquarius back in the 60's?

Well, wonder no more!

Kinda gets you tingly all over, doesn't it?

The 54 year old reboot

2011-05-08T02:00:00.000-06:00

On May 8, 1957, Mona Hull spit out little Christopher at somewhere around 6:43 according to the faded birth certificate.

I will forever be grateful that she hung onto me until the 8th, because if I had been born on the 6th, and had the same birthday as her dad, I would have been saddles with Alphonse as a first name.

Yep, that really would have changed my whole life track, from the incredibly well adjusted individual you all know out here (I hear those snorts, and you are all on report) to a serial killer from the life long heckling.

So to start my birthday off right, I have decided to try and crank up this here blog device again, and hopefully be able to give it some of my rare free time.

I want to try and write more about Skyler, and what it is like to have him as a son. And I want to try and be better at replying to everyone's comments. And on that note, does anybody have a favorite blogger plugin that allows for replying to comment through email? I would like to be able to do that so it is quicker and more personnel.

We will be seeing you around folks.

Where's That Pig?

2011-04-04T21:13:00.001-06:00

While I am trying to figure out what direction to take this electronic cesspool, I thought I would give you all a quick update on the latest adventures of our favorite bovine.

Fernando stowed away in our carry on bag and traveled up to the Pacific Northwest with us last week. My wife's family are all up there, mostly in a Seattle suburb called Bellevue. The trip was some fun, and some not so fun. We always enjoy seeing the family, but this trip was rainy as all hell, and we also were on a mission to find my wife's dad a facility to move into. He doesn't need full blown nursing care, but really does need a bit of assistance with some of his needs now. So we checked out some places and there are a couple of promising leads there. That is always a tough time.

So back to Fernando, what was he doing this trip?

Let's check it out!

We checked into our townhome that we like to stay at and Fernando immediately wanted to check out what was going on outside. He wasn't particularly enthralled with the rain.

So we headed on over to see grandpa and check out what was happening. Fernando thinks he could live here just fine if the water works stopped.

With nothing to do outside, Fernando decided to watch DVDs with Skyler.

So after a couple of days of family stuff and being bored, Fernando asked to go downtown to the Pike PLace Market. That sounded like a great plan to us.

Fernando decided to ride along on Skylers tray where he could get a good look.

he enjoyed the views of all the shops and had fun checking out the crowds and food.

We stopped for lunch and he checked out the waterfront through the window. Still too rainy...

Skylers favorite cousin, Kirsten, and Fernando got along great. Skyler still only has eyes for Kirsten though.

Wait a minute! What the hell is this? A giant bronze pig that Fernando got to know!!

Kirsten bought a small ceramic flute to take on her raft trips, Fernando decided to see if he could play.

That just isn't right...

Look at all the friends he made along the way!

After fernando takes a trip up into the mountains with me, he might just be packing up and moving along. I will keep you all up to date on where he is going!

A Question of Worth

2011-03-24T20:54:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone, I am breaking out of my self-imposed silence with something of worth.

If you have ever wanted to catch just a glimpse of what Kathy and I have been beating our heads against for the last 10 years or so, go over to this link and watch the trailer for the movie.

I wish I could embed, but there isn't an option, so please click over and look.

We Have Reached The End Of Our Broadcast Day

2011-03-05T10:03:00.000-07:00

So I guess you have noticed that I have not posted much lately, and what I have been putting up has been pretty much pure crap.

Truth be told, I have not felt much like digging deep into any particular subject, nor have I had the time to really collect my thoughts or even string more than a few sentences together.

There are just too many things pulling at me from all different directions right now:

Work has been so busy that I actually have been doing weekends and a lot of extra hours, which I always swore I wouldn't get sucked into.
While working from home has been nice in so far as I am able to help out a lot, my personnel relationships with friends has gone by the wayside. There has also been the tendency for my wife to abuse it a bit by scheduling lots of stuff in the middle of the day.
Skyler has simply been kicking our ass. I wrote awhile back about how he seems to have given up a bit on trying to work with us and the school. That hasn't gotten any better. He is only happy when he is doing exactly what he wants to do, and then he perseverates on one thing until he takes himself up to the point of a seizure.

I know that probably sounds meaningless and whiny to a lot of folks out there. But honestly I am just worn down by taking care of Skyler and keeping my fingers in all the holes in the dike. It has come to the point where I read about what other people are doing, be it a vacation, a new job, or even just seeing a concert or movie, and I think to myself "Yeah, that is what my life was supposed to be like".

I also don't feel like I can really vent here, because I don't want to hurt any feelings or make people worry. So I am going to kind of close up shop for awhile here. I will still pop in to read and comment here and there, and maybe I will get recharged and come back. I might even start up a different place, I really don't know now.

Until then, thanks for all the comments and emails and bloggy love. You folks have been great.

Repost: Everyone uses the word, what's your problem

2011-03-02T09:00:00.001-07:00

This is from 2009, but I wanted to re-post it because today is "Spread the word to end the word" day.
Every time I hear somebody refer to Skyler as "retard" I die a little more inside.

Our-kids is a group of over 1000 people who all are people who are in one way or another in the special needs community. Most of us are parents, but there are teachers, doctors, therapists, siblings, and some are the person with the diagnosis.

It is a worldwide community, but most are from the United States. We benefit from having an international membership, because it can be quite interesting to hear about viewpoints or medical procedures that are going on in other countries.

Over the years, I have had faceless names become close friends, engaged in discussions about body functions you wouldn’t mention to your doctor, and gained a valuable sounding board for advice and ideas. I have grown to care about a lot of these people, and their lives as much as some of my own friends.

There has been a conversation going on lately that is all about one word. In our community of special needs, it is the word that nobody speaks, much like nobody in the rest of the world wants to say nigger. Instead the rest of the world usually says the N word. With us, the one word is retarded.

With a lot of words that get thrown around, you can use it in a context that makes it OK. The N word gets used with regularity on the BET channel with comedians, and gets big laughs. In my own community of people that I have come to know that use chairs to get around, they sometimes throw around the word cripple with regularity. It’s not a word I would ever use, but hearing it in the context of guys on a wheelchair basketball team throwing at each other with glee, it seems alright.

I have always been a person who looks not so much at the word but at the use of it, or the person using it. I have had some people ask me questions about Skyler, that have wondered how he became crippled, or used other terms that I don’t care for. But when the intent behind the words is not malicious, and they really care, it is easy to excuse somebody for not being up on what language is proper. And believe me, I can spot sincerity in a person versus someone who should know better a mile away.

So what is it about the word retarded that bothers us so much? That has been the question going around, and I wanted to try and give you an idea of how much it hurts to hear it, and where I come from when I do.

All through Skylers life there has been a constant need to try and label him. Maybe that is the way the school system works, or how society is, I don’t really know. But there seems to be an issue with leaving a kid who is different from the rest without some sort of a label to put on them. We don’t do it with other kids, so what is the point? And yet, we are constantly fighting the perception that since he can’t talk, and is in a chair, he certainly must have some sort of delays “just like all of our other special kids”.

That right there is the key phrase, “all of our other special kids”.

Like a lot of other kids that face some sort of a challenge, Skyler went through school with an IEP. This stands for Individual Education Plan, and is laughingly un-individual. Any kids who doesn’t fit the typical mold, well they all go down the hall to special ed, with the rest of the retarded children. Because Skyler can’t gift you with clever or instant conversation, he must be retarded. Because Skyler can’t tolerate the level of noise in a particular room due to his sensory integration problems, when he starts to cry, it must be because he is retarded.

And what do you hear in the halls of the school every day? Retard, used over and over, with it’s never ending suffix to any word, -tard. It has become like anything –gate used because of Watergate. Don’t like a particular group of people, or have an issue with a segment of society? Just append tard to it and it become an instant and handy insult that everyone can enjoy. And does this present a problem with anyone, staff, teachers, anybody in society who is in a position of authority? In my experience, no. Because they probably use the word themselves.

So the question becomes what to do about it? Certainly there are a lot more pressing matters in the world going on, and gee Chris, aren’t you being a bit touchy? Yes, and probably yes. But on the second point, I would invite you to take that proverbial mile long walk in my shoes, then reflect on whether or not I might be touchy.

Because as this video by Soeren Palumbo points out so much better than I have been able to, I wonder why we take the most vulnerable segment of our society and make fun of them?

And if any of this has touched you in any way, or made you reconsider how to remove retarded from your lexicon, than I am glad I spent the time to try and get the point across. And if you feel that just one person less using the word won't make a difference, consider this next video by Bob Blue, called Courage. Bob was a middle school teacher as well as a singer and song writer, who came up with this song as a way to try and teach his kids about how just going along with the rest can't be used as an excuse.

Thank you so much for reading this, and don't worry, the silly stuff will return soon,
Chris (Sky-Dad)

While I try to come up with something better to say...

2011-02-24T10:41:00.000-07:00

Please enjoy this wonderful, totally real, advertisement for FERD trucks.

Seriously, they had me at chest hair upholstery, because I am so manly like that.

Get a grip people!

2011-02-20T16:51:00.002-07:00

Watch this through to the end. It is more than the usual sex sells piece.

Can You Guess What Time It Is?

2011-02-16T14:01:00.002-07:00

Bad Tat Tuesday; The Celebrity Edition

2011-02-15T02:00:00.000-07:00

I received an email from Leslie, a frequent commenter, asking me if I had ever done a celebrity edition of Bad tat Tuesday. She was even kind enough to send me a link with some creepy celeb ink. Thanks Leslie, this one is for you!

First out of the gate is Iron Mike. Mr. Tyson decided he wasn't scary or deranged looking enough as is and went tribal on his face.

Rihanna has one of the more famous tats on her neck, the trail of stars.

According to the web link, that says "Never A Failure, Always A Lesson".

Alyssa Milano can put whatever the hell she wants on her body as far as I am concerned. This is supposed to celebrate her Roman Catholic upbringing.

Because it's all about her, Christina Aguilera tattooed her alter ego name on the back of her neck.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has his family history inked on his shoulder in the art of Oceania. I hope the guy who did the work screwed him and put something on there that says he is the female in the relationship.

Sigh... My own local NBA franchise spent a small fortune to acquire Kenyon Martin, who can hardly speak, and has a huge pair of lips on his neck.

Rocker Fred Durst is just kind of a hot mess, with or without the tats.

Steve-O is pretty much a jackass. Here he shows us that he is pretty much in love with himself too.

We will end this series with Angelina. Lot's of bad decisions here, with the famous Billy Bob ta she had to have redone to the copious amount of work on the back. Yet she still gets movie roles.

Happy Valentines Day!

2011-02-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

From all of us who have been at this awhile...

Do You Remember One Year Ago?

2011-02-12T11:42:00.000-07:00

If you are a self-professed Olympics geek like me, you had your butt planted firmly on the couch to watch the opening ceremonies of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

I recall all of the chatter about "How could Vancouver ever match the opening spectacle that was the summer games from Beijing China"? Well, they did it the smart way. You don't try and match China for sheer size and nearly unlimited resources thrown towards it. You do it by showcasing some of the most jaw-dropping scenery in the world, and a lone figure. One of the best snowboarders in the world, Johnny Lyall making a run down a mountain in the middle of nowhere.

Vancouver 2010 Opening Ceremonies Intro Video from Barbershop Films on Vimeo.

Then you follow up with KD Langs amazing version of Halleluja.

Yeah. That's how you do it.

The Mountain Goat. Natures Ninjas

2011-02-10T09:35:00.000-07:00

Here in Colorado we have a couple of different types of rock Ninjas, The Rocky Mountain Big Horn Sheep (our state animal) and the Mountain Goat. The Big Horn Sheep has been declining in numbers over the years due an infestation of lung diseases, and because of the proliferation of the Mountain Goat which is a larger and tougher animal. Both animals share a characteristic, and that is their hooves have a sharp outer rim and a soft inner pad, which provide traction on slippery surfaces. This makes them amazingly agile on rocks and surfaces that most animals and certainly man can't negotiate.

I found a series of pictures and a video that I think you will find pretty wild.

Pretty amazing, huh? Well check out this video from the Himalayas, showing the Ninja skills of the local goat they have there!

Introducing The Himalayan Ninja Goat - Watch more Funny Videos

The Honey Badger

2011-02-09T10:29:00.000-07:00

Major props to Vikki for finding this wonderful nature video!

Honey badger don't give a shit, it just takes what it wants!

Bad Tat Tuesday

2011-02-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

Well here we area again troopers, donning our scout packs, hats, and getting our trusty compass out to help navigate our way through the bad ink forest.

Please don't feed the wild animals, and away we go...

Can anybody out there tell me what the hell this hot mess stands for?

Now if the tats had microswitches grafted in underneath the skin, that would be something!

Frequent contributor Lilly sends in this trifecta of WTF...

Johnny Cash has been seen here before, but this deserves another showing.

House-Eye-Gear... It's like the game of clue, Colonel Mustard was killed in the house by ramming a sprocket into his eye!

Lot's of layers to peel back in this future son-in-law!

And from my buddy Dave, a pair of waskly wabbits. Is that how you spell waskly?

Leslie sent me an idea for next week, be sure to tune in for bad tats of the stars! I am hoping to make this into a reality series...

Animals are awesome

2011-02-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

A little frivolity for your weekend. That is all.

This has been brought to you by Sky-Dad Inc, owner and operator of the blog Some Days It's Not Worth Chewing Through The Leather Straps.

I said Straps, not Restraints!

It's Quick Joke Time

2011-02-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

It has been awfully busy around casa del Skydad lately, so I only have time to put up a dirty joke.

Yep, a dirty one, that should get your attention...

A guy is walking the strip in Las Vegas and a fantastic-looking Vegas hooker catches his eye.

He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker,
"How much do you charge?"

The Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."

The guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Holy crap!
No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"

The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"

"Yes."

"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"

"Yes."

"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"

"Yes."

"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those.
And I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."

So the guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try."

They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he has just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500.

He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"

The hooker replies, "$1,500."

"I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!"

The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy.. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright.. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500."

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so and says, "Sign me up.."

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.

He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth.

He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience.

He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?"

The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something.

Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us: All those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and shows?

"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"

No," the hooker replies, "but I would...... If I had a pussy."

Bad Tat Tuesday; Even more guests!

2011-02-01T02:00:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for the additions to this continuing saga of what not to do to your body! This week, the idea comes from Mr. Mjenks, who is one of the funniest and most educational people out in Bloggeritaville. You really must check out his posts on learning latin. I know that I have picked up a few new words, mostly stuff that I can't use in public around latin speakers, but I be learnin anyways!

Mjenks had the need to do a search for Al Bundy, which is one of the reasons I like him, and alerted me to the vast quantities of Al Bundy related tats out there. So away I went a googling and lo and behold, the man doth not lie.

The best of the bunch. I am breaking you in easy here.

I didn't know that Al was predominantly a purple hue, interesting...

Al was never this happy, I don't even see the resemblance.

Who wants Al and whoever the other person is right on their butt cheeks? Who wants to wait long enough with the ass in the air to get these?

This isn't really bad work, and isn't really one of the best expressions Al had.

The hair and the huge skin pores are really setting this one off well, don't you think?

Now that's the classic Al we all know and love.

OK, so it's not a tat. It came up in the search and I love the photo.

Thanks Mjenks, I appreciate the help!

Why Women Stay Single

2011-01-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

Enough said...