Friday Funny

We were dressed, and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house. Because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'

The cab driver hit a parked car.

Let's clean out the picture folder

Here is a mess (Swarm? Covey? Murder?) of fun stuff I have picked up along the way that I didn't find a use for, but know that some of you just might appreciate them!

The final Bad Tat Tuesday!

Loyal readers, I think this whole theme has just about run its course now. 

(several of you mumble something about this whole blog has run its course, and I agree)

So today I will clean out the bad tat folder and that will be that.  For the record, as I have told several people I am not anti-tat, I actually really think that most are very cool.  It is just the bad work or the weird themed ones that I find peculiar.

And without further ado, here we go...

Wow, bad work and the kinda 3-D look?

You only jizz 5 times?

That is actually pretty cool!

That is actually not cool.  That is horrific.

Nice use of the belly button.

One word - Unemployable.

These *are* the droids I am looking for!

Amazing work, but scary.

Worst ever.

This is way cool!

Another scary and WTF one.

I am as big a Trek fan as there is, but no way.

Even burly guys can appreciate a tramp stamp...

Job loss, Fork in the road, Apply your metephor here

These past two weeks have been rather tough here at casa del Skydad.  My company, Cisco Systems, has gone through yet another Limited Restructuring (read layoff).  This has happened a few times in the past and they have shuffled some people around, dissolved some business units, and I have made it through.

But this one was different.  This one hit very close to home.  My two best friends that I work with, Isy and Kerry, both were laid off along with another team member.  And we found out that all of the work our group was doing is going to China and India.

Did I mention I am a technical writer?  And all of our work is going to other countries with English as a second language?  I'll pause and let that sink in for a moment...

That's right, it appears that all of the smoke up the ass blowing about our people are our greatest asset is secondary to handing our work to teams that will do it for half the cost.

You want to know the worst part about my friends getting laid off?  My buddy Isy is home on medical leave fighting stage 4 breast cancer.  Yep, that is a classy move right there.  They can't legally lay her off while on medical leave, but they can call her and tell her when she comes back she is gone.  Because of this, I am feeling like pure hell with what I can only seem to equate as survivors guilt.  Isy and Kerry were my rocks, my sounding board, and wonderful friends.  I feel crappy that I made it through and they didn't.

Of course making it through is probably only a temporary respite at best, because it seems that this just isn't going to stop.  I received a call from a friend who is pretty highly placed in Cisco seeing if I was OK.  They were happy that I made it, but told me flat out it is time to look.  I appreciated the heads up.

So now, the search begins.

I can look for another tech writer job, and I was a systems admin in a previous life but those skills are rusty.  I had a friend call and ask if I would be interested in being a project manager, but I have done very little of that in my life.

And then in the back of my head is the nagging thought that I really don't want to do this anymore.  There is no passion whatsoever in this job, or in high tech any more.  It all seems like drugery to me.  But it is where the pay is and the good benefits.  And the benefits are important to me for Skyler.

So I don't really know what to do.  If we make significant life style changes we could get by on less money, we live pretty fugally as it is.  I even had a chat with a guy I always talk to at Lowes this morning.  Turns out that would be about 1/3 of what I make now.

Too big of a cut.

So what do my friends out here think?  What can a middle aged dude look for in this tight job market?

I am open to any ideas.  In the meantime, I just want to stop waking up at 3AM and throwing up from the stress.

That would be a great start...

Friday Funnies

Because I got nothing.

Seriously, nothing...

Got to love old people

A jet is making its final approach into St. John's Airport.

The pilot comes on the intercom and announces, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain. We're on our final descent into St. John's Newfoundland. I want to thank you all for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay on "the ROCK.""

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.
The co-pilot can be heard saying to the pilot, "So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're on the Rock?"
"Well", says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap, then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner. I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long."

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane.
She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says, "No need to hurry, dear ....
He's gotta land the plane and take a shit first.

Let's clean out the saved pictures folder on a snowy day!

Skyler is happy for awhile playing a DVD, and I have a few minutes to write something down in this little electronic corner of the universe.

But why on earth would I try and organize any thoughts on a snow day?  That would require effort and ambition, both of which are in short supply today...