Oct 28, 2010

The Big Wicked Online Pageant!!

Everyone's favorite blogger of all things pop culture, The Pop Eye, is hosting The Big Wicked Online Pageant to celebrate all of our costumed glory days!!

I decided to get going early with one of my favorite costumes that my mom made in the days of Sky-Dad's youth, the monster.  My mom rocked at costumes, she was excellent at both ideas and execution.

Check out my bad 9 year old self:

Oct 26, 2010

Bad Tat Tuesday

Special shout out to frequent reader Dan, who emailed me these absolutely wonderful Unicorn tats!  Not that I'm judging or anything, but where did you find these buddy?  OK, OK, I am backing off, my surfing is all for "research" purposes also...

Is it a tribute to mom, or is that his weird vision of mom eating pizza?

When you can piss rainbows that turn into cupcakes, you get to claim #1 also!

And adding unicorn bling...

How can it get more awesome than Robocop riding a Unicorn?
Kind of creepy for a star wars tribute, I'm just sayin.

Don't call me Shirley.

Oct 25, 2010

Monday Morning Random Madness.

Just some random weirdness I have found to help purge my brain of that Broncos debacle.
This would have been a better movie.

This would have been an awesome movie!

Only bendy people need attempt this.

If you look up awesome, this is the photo.

That is how we roll.

Compound eye Walrus sees all.

I laughed, oh yes... I laughed hard!

I think it is more of a back off the dosage warning.

I call this one "Issues"

Life is wonderful if you have waffle on a stick capabilities.

Caption this please.

Conjoined?  Or just extra weird?

Nobody gave him shit about his backpack after he started packing the RPG

Oct 21, 2010

A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

Attention K-Mart Shoppers.  We have a little lost boy in Hardware that answers to Sky-Dad, and he seems to have wet himself.

What the hell has happened to me lately (or not so lately if you have known me for awhile)?  I used to kind of have my shit together, fairly intelligent guy who knew a little about a lot of things and a lot about a few things.  But now?  You be the judge...

I had to take my car in for service to get the fan in the heater fixed.  It was making this loud screeching sound for the past, oh, lets just say couple of years.  My appointment was for today, but it didn't work out dropping the car off this morning with everything going on.  So, I took it over to the mechanic last night and dropped it off.  Yeah me for being so on top of it and working around the busy morning issue.

I had planned on going to the gym and working out early at 0-dark thirty this morning, so last night Kathy told me that I should back the van out of the garage for the morning.

Why, I ask?

She looks at me like I am an idiot, and tells me "You don't want to wake up Skyler in the morning".  I responded much our dogs do to me when I am discussing good behavior with them, and cocked my head to the side.  Kathy continues, "You won't have your car tomorrow, remember"?

Ah yes, of course I remember!  I just dropped it off there at the mechanics an hour and a half ago, and this great looking women picked me up to give me a ride home! (see what I did right there, throwing in a compliment to throw her off her game).

Completely taken by my compliment she shakes her head and mumbles something about idiot under her breath, at least I think she mumbled, my hearing is going the way of my short-term memory...

This morning after returning from the gym, and helping get Skyler all ready for heading out to Red Rocks, I finish loading him in the van and the dogs are doing their normal jumping around-oh boy, oh boy, it's walkies time thing.  I tell them calm down, we will go to the dog park in a minute.  Kathy informs me, "No, you will have to walk them in the field at the end of the street".

Cue my cocked head appearance...

She then reminds me, "Remember?  You don't have your car"?

Oh sure I do, no worries, we like the field down the street, don't we guys?  Yes and we are so cute, yes we are and we have fun don't we? (pets dogs and rubs bellies)

Kathy pulls out and leaves after further questioning of my sanity, and I grab my jacket and the leashes and we head out the door.  The dogs bolt down the driveway and head right to the curb where the car is usually parked (thanks pooches).  Then Yordi the Newfy mix runs back up the driveway and attempts to tell me the car has been stolen.  Montana the Chocolate Lab is sitting at the curb right where the back door of the car is, I guess waiting for me to let her into the invisible car.

So there you have it gentle readers.  Sky-Dad's brain power has been reduced to a level that is someplace between and old Chocolate Lab, and a young Newfy mix!

Should I go and gt fitted for Depends now, or just wait for my first accident in the grocery store as I am lost wandering around looking for the milk?

Oct 19, 2010

Bad Tat Tuesday!

Boy these Tuesdays really seem to sneak up on me!  You just turn around and all the sudden you have missed a week and now you are late.  But fear not people, this weeks collection of crap will not disappoint!

 Buffy The Vamp Slayer!  Just a bit busy and not too great...

 It was. Now, not so much.

 Holy overdone Batman!  What do we have going on here?

 This tat cannot be explained.

 My question is, Why not finish the other pistol?

 I would actually consider a Calvin and Hobbes.

 Leftover from the skateboard thugs theme.

 Proud of his choice of Motor Cycle.

 I wonder if the dude in the background is impressed, or thinks it sucks.  Maybe he is just stoned...

 Great work, but Uber-creepy!

 There are no words for how awful this is.

 Nice Rack.  There, somebody was going to say it.

That tat must be as old as the hill, or this is a really bad shot.

Oct 17, 2010

Movie Review: Secretariat

There seemed to have been a fair amount of hype generated over this movie prior to it coming out, which usually is a red flag to me.  The trailers looked good, and I have always loved the story of the horse, but I thought that I might come away thinking that it wasn't much more than the sum of the several 60 second bites I saw.

This is an amazing movie.  Diane Lane gives a great performance as Penny Chenery, and has received a lot of Oscar hype, but in my opinion, John Malkovich steals every scene he is in as the trainer Lucien Laurin.  He is wonderful.

But I think the story is mostly about Penny fighting to be recognized as an intelligent women in the late 60's/early 70's more than the horse itself.  She goes through quite a lot making her way in an old white guys club, and doesn't back down.

The absolute #1 reason you have to see this movie though, and see it in a theater, is the cinematography.  This is what should get this movie an academy award nod, more so than the acting.  It is nothing short of breathtaking! 

Check out this extended clip:

I tried to find the clip from the movie of Secretariat running at Belmont and winning the triple crown, but they only have a short 30 second version.  Check out the real deal on youtube to recall how much he won by, but the clip in the movie is taken from so many angles that you don't see how they did it.  There is footage from underneath the horse, from the riders point of view, beside the horse, I mean everywhere! Finally, just before the final turn where he pulls away, there is a stopped scene taken from ground view all the way down the track, and they actually pull off narrating a bible quote.  I mean, I am not religious, but this really works.

Go see it.

Oct 13, 2010

Welcome once again to Poorly Translated Signs!

I seriously can't get enough of these, I just love the weirdness that comes out of really bad translations!  Here are a few that came my way over the past few weeks, enjoy!

I always walk more slowly when I am hard.

Women playing the erect bamboo flute?  Say what?!?

I usually get stuck during reflenishing too.

Adjectives should never be allowed in the noun bathing area.

But leave your tin.

That's right lady!  Push it!  Come on you!

Who doesn't like one?

Kind of I suppose...

That's right, just lump us all together.

Only Rick Shaw's beard knows!

They are heros I tell you!

Dirty damned tortoises.

Wow, where to begin?

It take far less than that to make me slobber.

Not if you are a guy.

I'm going to need a bit more clarification please.

So if you are having a picnic with your ex, take them with you.

Sargent and above only.

Come on Asia, words hurt too!


Don't turn round the hand rail was a one hit wonder by Petulia Clark i think.

Aside from the grammar problems, what are you smoking if the building is asking you things?

Not to sure what to do, so I just won't ride the damn bus.

Construction workers are ass-hats in Asia also.

(snaps fingers) Don't be bringing no trouble over here1

It takes a Spice Girl to open the door?

Suddennes happens where you least expect it.

Just eat the damn combustible bread!

And bed bugs, resist those too.