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Showing posts from February, 2009

Men Explained

The lady who doesn't lunch has a wonderful post today about her dear husband not listening to her. I believe this may have been because men's brain's are wired slightly different than women's. I know, I know, you are all thinking "What does Sky-Dad know about any of this? Well I leaned everything I need to know on the subject from Mark Gungor, who has a DVD seminar called "Laugh your way to a better marriage". Here are two clips from it, enjoy!

Guess what day it is?

If you are like me, you almost missed Airhorn Appreciation Day!! Hey Everyone, Get Out Your Airhorns! - Watch more Cheetos

Mel Gibson In The Colonel

From Jimmy Kimmel Live comes the biopic we have all been waiting for! Mel Gibson In The Colonel - watch more funny videos

Important notice from Sky-Dad

It has come to my attention that my followers dropped recently from 39 to 38, just as I was hoping to have a big blow out party for #40. The staff here at Some days its not worth chewing through the leather straps always follows demographics closely, and wishes to understand the drop in readership. Was it: 1. Bad tat series was in bad taste 2. Bad tat series didn't show enough "fun regions" 3. Couger Barbie just made me way too uncomfortable 4. Wheelchair Rebbecca gave me the willys 5. I didn't post Ben's number from Wheelchair Rebbecca 6. You are a sick, demonic perverted monster Sky-Dad The staff thanks you for leaving your vote in the comments section, and an optional essay on why I should only stick to my usual clean, wholesome christian stories.

Couger Barbie Updated!!

Funniest thing I have seen in some time! One of my old friends sent this to me after reading this post, reminding me about Barbies friend Rebbecca, who winds up in a wheelchair... OK, this is sick, and since I have a son in a chair, why the hell am I posting this update? Because like I told Grant, I have decided to give up the remaining shreds of my dignity for Lent!

It's Bad-Tat Tuesday!!

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OK, OK, calm down everyone. I know you have all been dieing to see some horrible ink for awhile now. Well guess what? Thanks to Sky-Dad perusing the underworlds of the internet tubes, and exposing it's soft, visceral underbelly, you don't have to subject yourself to that sort of thing. Wait no more, the parade of decorative skin is about to commence! Let's start off with Mr. Cool Ice, shall we? What's not to like, combining his bad-ass self with his obvious sense of humor with the reverse shades on the head. Making some sort of statement about "This is the last thing you will ever see?" It's not enough to have some exotic tats up on your face, let poke holes in it and take the time to expand them out to huge proportions. As much of a hot mess that this guy is, what's up with the relatively normal glasses? I guess it would be weird to have wire rims, huh? Oh look! This one has the official "Sulu seal of approval"! Last but not least -

Kiwi Bacon

Wonderful commercial! Bonus content! A quick joke... One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out.. The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing. Once he was gone, the mother turned to the fa

I come from the land down under

I am over at Fire That Agency this morning with an Aussie followup.

The Post for Dizzblnd

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The always funny Dizzblnd over at Soggy-Doggy-Bloggy has a post up today about working the support line. I share her pain because I worked several years on a tech support line at a computer company in Boulder called NBI. I have aquired quite a collection of Dilbert comics from my desk calendar over the years, so I thought I would share them.

Sit back, turn on the speakers, and enjoy James the narcoleptic tree cutter!

Quick Joke

A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!" "That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course." So, his father sends the dog and $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you

Fire That Agency

I am posting over at Fire That Agency today. Come see what the Aussie mind can come up with...

Happy Valentines Day Mi Amigos

DaVinci

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My brother in law sent me these pictures, this is a pretty amazing amount of work. This guy created a portrait of DaVinci using nothing but nails, alternating in size and depth. I went to the website in the photos for more information, but unfortunately, my Arabic is a bit rusty...

Despair dot com has their finger on the pulse of the online world

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I love everything about this company, their mockery of the Successories people, their products, the snark that is so palatable you can smell it coming off your screen. I have purchased many shirts and calendars from them over the years, and this might have to be my next one: Even the automated response you get from the company when you order something is great, check it out: Thank you for your recent order from Despair, Inc. I'd like to personally welcome you to our growing body of Dissatisfied Customers(tm), but to do so might evidence some actual concern for service and protocol. This might then lead to customer satisfaction, which would defeat the purpose altogether. That is why you have received this generic, form-generated email, written by some nameless lackey in our marketing department. Having established that any pretense of consideration for * your * needs would be counter-productive to our raison d'etre at Despair Inc, let us now ponder a subject of greater inter

Who'll be left holding the bag

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The wonderful Damn Expat tagged me with the strangest meme ever thrown my way. Obviously meant for someone of the female persuasion, this meme begs to be ignored by a dude. However, this must some type of test. I can feel it in the air like the stench of fear, swirling around the intertubes waiting to land in your lap like a cheap stripper trying to get a few last bucks out of an almost comatose club patron. So let's get the obvious "Bag" joke out of the way first, OK? Fuck yeah! That's how the Sky-Dad rolls! Hangin low and heavy... Everyone OK? Good. On to the rules: 1 . Post a picture of whatever bag you are carrying as of late. No, you can't go into your closet and pull out your favorite purse! We want to know what you carried today or the last time you left the house. 2. List how much it cost. And this is not to judge. This is for entertainment purposes only. So spill it. And if there is a story to go along with how you obtained it, we’d love to hear it.

Sky-dad recommends:

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Moose Drool Brown Ale from Big Sky Brewing Company. I found this at the local "super store" of booze that just opened. Over 10,000 square feet of liquor, and the largest beer section I have ever seen. I loaded up on a couple of new brands, including this lovely brown ale. It is quite good, but I have to admit I bought it just for the carton, which I thoughtfully scanned because I knew you would all like it. You're welcome. It is folded flat for scanning, the line "Hold my Beer and Watch This" is on the bottom of the carton, which seems somewhat appropriate since you will wind up trying things that only make sense after washing down a sixer of these beauties.

They are out there driving among us

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Two different stories came my way this past week that I thought I would share with you. Both are about senior citizens who are drivers. I don't normally group people into particular niches, because I certainly don't want that to happen to Skyler. But I really believe that once you get past a certain age, let's just throw 70 out there as a nice round number, you should be required to get a drivers test every stinkin year! First story: Driveline Vibration Issue - Possible Root Cause: This old guy ran over a mattress/box springs and decided to keep going. The ensuing jumble finally whipped around enough to put a tear in the gas tank, the subsequent lack of fuel is what finally brought this vehicle to its knees. It had still managed to drive 30 more miles decently with a 60lb tangle wrapped around the driveshaft. This genius complained that the vehicle had a "shimmy" when driving it high speeds. This is what the dealership found: Yeah right, just a bit of a shimmy

6 levels of funny

This guy decides to test a dog collar designed to shock the dog when it barks. He takes it through all the settings from 1 to 6, hilarity ensues...

The return of the bad tat series

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When Bubs did his post on lower back tats it reminded me that I had a lot of really terrible body art sitting around in a folder that used to be for bad tat Tuesday. Well, I am unleashing it all on you at once, just to give you bad nightmares for the weekend. A lot of this is gross, most of it is NSFW, as a matter of fact, just close this window and don't scroll down. I don't want any lawsuits... Saving the worst for last... Last chance to bail!

Christian Bale versus Bill O'Reilly

First of all, thank you everyone for your kind words about Hootie. You are all such great people! Now, back to my weird self. I am sure everyone has heard by now of Christian Bales rant on the set of his movie. I found this great take on it, the premise is that Bale used to work as Bill O'Reilly's director... Nice mash-up! Beware if at work, lot's of language here. Christain Bale Vs. Bill O'Reilly - Watch more Free Videos

Goodbye old friend. Hootie: 1997-2009

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I'll never forget the day I first saw him. We were driving home from Golden and Kathy said "Why don't you go this way?" We headed down a street I had never been on and found ourselves driving by a little strip mall. Then Kathy says "Turn in here a minute." Now my spidey senses are on alert, and sure enough, we wind up parking in front of a pet store. Kathy had been out in Golden a couple of days before and had found Hootie sitting in a cage looking so lonely. When we walked in, there was a sad little puppy up high in his own cage, with a sign that had 2 different prices crossed out and the third was pretty low. He had been taken and then returned to the pet store. I knew right then that we were heading home with another dog, I had been suckered! I still wasn't quite over the loss of our Golden Retriever, but I never do seem to get over the loss of a pet. Kathy knows that I need a replacement though, and seeing as we always have dogs in pairs, our