Dec 31, 2009

New Years Eve, Sky-Dad Style UPDATED!!

Kathy, Skyler and I will be running the Resolution Run this evening. It is a great run that has been going on for 25 years now, going around through Wash Park south of downtown Denver.

It used to be held right in downtown Denver, and started just before midnight so you brought in the New Year on the road during the race. But the cold weather at midnight combined with the attacks by the hobos kind of put a damper on the run, so they moved it to 6PM and in the park.

We will be decorating Skylers chair with glo-sticks, I will make sure and take pictures to share with you all!

Just back from the race, and it was a great time. There was a very large crowd, and everyone was having fun. The course was mostly dry, but there were patches of ice that were pretty nasty, and our friend Lauri went down pretty hard!

The glo-sticks were a big disappointment, due to the cold they didn't light up well at all. Some of the runners wore Christmas lights of sorts that were battery powered.

After the run we headed over to a local pub for beers and burgers, all in all a great evening.


Me, Skyler, Kathy, and Lauri


Kevin, Skyler, Kathy, Lauri, and Joel


We were first to the pub!!


The glo-sticks came back to life in the pub after they got warm!

Dec 29, 2009

Just Call Me Award Winner!

My good buddy Scope is throwing out awards over at his place like chum of the back of the boat in Jaws! He is doing some pretty fancy graphics-type-thingys that go along with them also (go ahead and look up graphics-type-thingy while I wait, I sometimes confuse the masses with my tech talk).

Take a gander at this wonderful piece of workmanship, ain't it the best? I am also honored to share it with Moooooog35 of Mental Poo !! I always get a kick out of his comments.



To prove that Scope is awarding this to the right person, ladies and gentlemen, I give to you The Oral Sex Light! For that partner who needs to actually see what is right in front of them.

Dec 27, 2009

Quite the Christmas

It has been a memorable Christmas around the fam damnly this year. We started off with a nice lunch with my sister and brother in law in lieu of a present exchange. That was great! We are starting a new tradition. It was just the 3 of us hanging out for Christmas, and then Skyler started getting sick. Some sort of stomach bug invaded the house, complete with projectile vomit (Skyler and Kathy) with a special guest appearance by explosive diarrhea for me. Skyler recovered quickly, Kathy and I not so much... We are still taking turns in the bathroom, and trying to tend to Skyler, who doesn't think sick parents should affect him this much!

Lots of great gifts this year. Skyler got lots of great stuff, but his favorite was a new tape from Aunt Karen and Uncle Steven of the news folks from up in Seattle!


Our former Physical Therapist, Ilene, who live back in Philly sent Kathy and Skyler

wait for it...

Snuggies!!! Wheeeeee!!!



I got some Starbucks cards (always a hit with me) and this years edition of the Star Trek "Ships of the Line" calender to get my geek on with. I have had this calender going back to the first edition, which I am not totally sure I should really be bragging about.



The dogs got chew bones, and after destroying them in the backyard, came in to thank me.



But the ultimate cool thing that happened this year wasn't a present, it was news from back in the Pacific Northwest. Long time readers will know all about Skylers favorite person in the world, his cousin Kirsten.



Kirsten has been dating her boyfriend Roy for quite awhile now. They guide raft trips together. They just took a 21 day raft trip all the way through Grand Canyon, finishing up in Las Vegas.

Well Roy had his dad make a ring for her, and then proposed to her the night of the full moon on the raft trip!! Pretty cool stuff here, and Skyler approves which might have been a deal breaker right there.

Good luck Kirsten and Roy!

Dec 26, 2009

Hudson and Landry Frontier Christmas

A great old routine from a comedy troop I remember from when I was a wee lad. Listen to the end, it is nice!

Dec 25, 2009

Santas Letters

Take some time out of your Christmas for some Letters that Santa decided to answer, after he was half in the bag...

deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa


Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa


Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa


Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa


Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa
P.S.
Tell your mom she got the part.
"Long Dong" Claus


Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa


Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

Dec 24, 2009

Merry Christmas all my Blogger Buddies!!

Like most of you, I won't be paying too much attention to the Internettubes over the next few days. But I wanted to leave you with something special, something that is from my childhood that speaks to me about the true meaning of Christmas.

Color me all nostalgic, but there is something magical about Christmas. Peace on Earth, presents exchanged, family together, it all just rocks.

There are many Christmas carols out there that try and capture what all this means, and some are good, while others are not so great. But to really feel the spirit of Christmas, you have to go back to the days of childhood innocence, and bugging mom and dad for yet another quarter to put into the jukebox at the local cafe and playing this song 3 more times in a row... For the 5th consecutive time...

Yes, true Christmas has only been successfully captured in song by




Wait for it...



The Royal Guardsmen!!

Yeah, I said it. The former "super group", the Royal Guardsmen!!!

Drink it all in people, perhaps it will sound better after that 5th eggnog/Bourbon tomorrow morning.

Dec 23, 2009

Choices














Finding it hard to choose? Don't worry, because all of these outfits are available at Wal-Mart!

Happy Holidays!!

Dec 21, 2009

Childhood toys part 3

Mnmom from Happy to be from Iowa is doing a series of posts of some of her best childhood gifts, so I thought I would play along.

Following on the heels of the Big Bruiser tow truck came an even bigger and better toy, the Big Job Dump Truck!! This thing was huge, you could fit a small sized Labrador retriever in the bed of this monster (not that I tried or anything, that would have been cruel to our poor dog).

Since this dump truck came along after the tow truck, I was surprised that I didn't find an old commercial for it on youtube. But I did find a demo for it from a guy who is a big fan of the toy, and has a video. Sorry, embedding is disabled, but clicky on over...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eAMKIqdngU

Here is a picture:

Jib Jab Merry Christmas

Delightfully twisted, kind of like me!!

Dec 19, 2009

Can Santa Be Black?

The Lady who doesn't lunch had a great post recalling Christmas with her kid sister. Check it out, it is wonderful and hits home to those of us with children that have special needs.

I tried to reply to her with one of my favorite Christmas stories, but it was too large for the comments section. So I am posting it here.

Merry Christmas everyone.


Can Santa Be Black?
Copyright © B.J. Wrights

It happened in the kindergarten class,
Right at the table where they were having snack.
Joanie asked the question and they all sat back:
"Mr. Slater? Can Santa Claus be black?"

Poor Mr. Slater didn't know what to say,
Christmas vacation was twenty days away.
There were snowflakes to cut and
Window wreaths to be hung,
Christmas cards to be painted,
And Christmas songs to be sung.

He hadn't time to think
What Christmas was about,
In twenty more days,
School would be out!
Why couldn't they wait
And ask their questions then,
When mommies and daddies
Were home to answer them?
"Mr. Slater? Can Santa be thin?
Is Santa Clause always a him?"

Mr. Slater looked at twenty pairs of eyes,
Twenty children of every shape and size.
He ate a bit of cracker and finished his drink.
"Children," he said,
"I'll need some time to think."
As soon as class was over,
He ran down the hall,
Skidded 'round a corner,
Crashed into a wall.
Ran up the steps to the second floor,
Rapped on the window of the principal's door.

"Ms. Frazer, Ms. Frazer, what can I do?
The children asked these questions
That now I ask of you:

Can Santa Claus be black?
Can Santa Claus be thin?
Does Santa always have to be a him?"

"Mr. Slater, it's a difficult task
To find answers to the questions you ask.
I think with these I'll need some assistance,
But I'll get you the answers with a little persistence.

Ms. Frazer turned in her swivel chair,
Picked up the phone and dialed Mr. Dare.
Mr. Dare was the head of the P.T.A.,
He called for a meeting the very next day.

"Thank you for coming,"
He began with a greeting.
"I'd like to get right to the point of this meeting.
Mr. Slater, in charge of the kindergarten class,
Needs the answers to some questions
And he needs them fast."

"Can Santa be black?
Can Santa be thin?
Does Santa always have to be a him?"

The parents didn't know what to say,
Christmas vacation was nineteen days away.
There were cookies to bake and lights to string,
Gifts to wrap and carols to sing.

They hadn't time to think
What Christmas was about,
In nineteen more days
School would be out!
Why did children have to ask questions when
Parents had no time to sit and answer them?

"Well, Parents?
Are there any suggestions?
Do we have any answers
To these difficult questions?"

"Who knows best
What Christmas is about?
Let's ask Santa!"
Someone called out in a shout.

The secretary of the P.T.A.
Sent a letter to Santa the very next day.
The reply came back very, very fast,
Addressed to Mr. Slater
And the kindergarten class.

Dear Mr. Slater, Dear Girls, Dear Boys,
Once a storywriter caught me bringing you toys.
The year he spied me opening my sack,
My skin was white, my boots were black.
You probably know how that story goes . . .
I laid a finger aside my nose?
All these years, needlessly,
That story worries children who don't have a chimney.
All year long I listen to the news,
Read people's thoughts, see people's views.
At the end of the year, when I see what's needed most,
I take that shape, like a Christmas ghost.
I can pass through keyholes, windows and locks,
Apartment buildings, hospitals, tents, and trailer lots.

One year I used a wheelchair in place of my sleigh,
Once I was blind and had to feel my way.
It's hard to understand when I don't leave a toy:
You can't unwrap a gift like hope or health or joy.
My skin has been black, white, yellow, red, brown;
My eyes have been slanted, crossed, and round.
Sometimes I have been a she:
All these things are a part of me.
You may not believe all this is true,
But that's okay, boys and girls, because . . .
I believe in you. ---

Dec 17, 2009

More Running!

I had quite a few remarks off of blogger about the last post on the Wild West relay, so I thought I would load up the slide show for the Colorado relay from the year before. Kevin did a bunch of small snippets of songs for this one, and I like it better. This one also has some scenery that is very cool, higher mountains, steeper trails, and SNOW!!

Chidhood Toys part 2

Mnmom from Happy to be from Iowa is doing a series of posts of some of her best childhood gifts, so I thought I would play along. This next one was a set of toys that fed into my mania for all things space related. Major Matt Mason! Space explorer!

The moon crawler thing was really pretty cool because it would go over anything, including the poor dog.


Dec 16, 2009

2 Vans, 12 People, 36 legs, 200 Miles!

My wife, Kathy, has run with the same core group of people for about 5 years now. They got together to form a relay team when they heard about the Wild West Relay. This relay goes from Fort Collins Colorado to Steamboat Springs Colorado, traveling mostly on small side roads and even cattle roads. They go all the way up into Wyoming for a leg, before dropping back into Colorado for the finish.

Kathy has also run with the same group in the Colorado relay, which goes from Georgetown Colorado over to Glenwood Springs, Colorado. That one is longer, and has more altitude to deal with, but the team likes the Wild West better because it goes over less traveled roads.

Their team name is "It's Only A Flesh Wound", and they are one of the better masters teams in the races. Last year they finished second in the Wild West!

One of the team members was Skylers 6th grade principal, and he is a great guy. He is one of the few who believed in Skyler when we were in school, and he makes the team a video after each race. I thought I would share that with you:


Dec 15, 2009

Childhood toys

Mnmom from Happy to be from Iowa is doing a series of posts of some of her best childhood gifts, so I thought I would play along. Through the wonders of the internettubes, you can actually find some old toys from back in the days of my youth. Just after the bronze age I believe...

There was one toy tow truck I remember called Big Bruiser that I just loved. It was huge! It came with a truck that had a snap on flat tire, and a snap on crumpled fender. You could hook it up and tow it around, pretty cool stuff for a little kid back then.



I snagged this image from Ebay, where they wanted 79 bucks for it, and there was a bid on another in the original box for 188 bucks - insane!!

Check out the commercial for it:

Dec 13, 2009

Monday Morning Madness presents:

Back Fat, the musical.

No? Not catchy enough? Ok, how about:

Back breasts, or how I learned to wear a bra the other way.

Still no good? Hmmm, picky audience this morning...

I've got it!

Who is the favorite cell mate in prison! Yeah, that's it!!

What in holy hell is going on with these people?





















And last but certainly not least, I didn't know whether to put hm in here or wait until Bat tat Tuesday...

Dec 12, 2009

Little kid plays I'm Yours on a Ukelele

This is so damn cute I will overlook his complete lack of vocals. Check out all of his facial expressions!


Kid Plays Im Yours On Ukelele - Watch more Funny Videos

Dec 7, 2009

We Interrupt Bad Tat Tuesday for an Important Announcement!

I am a winner! Wheeee, I never get the right numbers on lotto tickets, or pick the right dog at the track, or bribe the right NBA official so my team wins. So imagine my surprise when Jeanne over at The Raisin Chronicles told me I was a winner!!

That's right folks, your old buddy Sky-Dad pulled in the prestigious From Me To You award:

Ain't she a beauty?

With this award comes great responsibility, namely answering questions on a meme. The original was "7 Things You Don't Know About Me", but Jeannie has improved upon this and changed it to "7 Things That Are Hard To Do".

I like this version more since I have already answered several questions about myself, and I am sure that the rest of blogdom out there is tired of hearing about my one extra long pubic hair...

So here we go with 7 things that are hard to do:

1) Since it's Christmas season and I will be soon starting to do this, I will say wrapping presents. Unless my gift comes in a perfectly square box, my gift wrapping sucks big time. I usually tear paper or wind up leaving a part of a finger in the wrapping paper.

2) Painting a straight line. You want me to paint? Then turn me loose outside with a sprayer, but don't let me near your floorboards. I get more on myself than I get on the damn wall!

3) Drive the speed limit. I have a bit of a heavy foot, and let's face it, aren't those side street speed limit signs more of a general guideline than a true speed limit?

4) Watch reality TV shows. I have tried, and my wife really likes Amazing Race. I want to be supportive and enjoy it with her, but the constant back stabbing and bickering on these shows kills me! And where do they find these people? I wish for the commercial to get there so I can watch professional actors.

5) Not swear. I have tried, damn it I have tried, but I can't stop dropping f bombs and using my "Navy words". It's a good thing I have a non-verbal son, or I would have had a lot of explaining to do in grade school.

6) Eat healthy. I try, but I do love me some fat in my food! And chocolate is my biggest downfall. Well that and lard... and fried food... and beer... Mmmmm beeeeer. What was I talking about?

7) Be serious. This is very difficult for me. (Oh really? how did I not know this until now Sky-Dad?) I have to make fun of life, and laugh and kid about things. Because if I don't, life catches up with me and I get to serious and depressed. And sometimes I think that if I ever let it all sink in, I will start crying and never stop. Because it is hard, damn hard.

Now you know that with memes comes the pass-along and tagging, which I am generally against. I like to let people do this if they wish to, so have at it people.

It's Monday Morning Madness

Where we take pause to celebrate the little things (or large things) in life that make us scratch and wonder what the hell?...



Look at the size of that damn snake!


he he he...


Food chain (updated version)


I seem to fly next to this dude every time I get on a plane!


I have questions like this also...



Best diagram ever!



Just let him sniff you, he won't hurt you! He's just a big softy...


My personnel favorite Craigs list ad of all time!


Old joke on a sign.


More Engrish!

Yeah, I know this was hastily put together and follows no pattern. Oh well, better luck next time.