Dec 23, 2012

Random thoughts from a well-medicated brain

I haven't done any serious posts in quite sometime now.  Mostly because I have been in a serious rut, and just haven't felt it.  But I think the main reason has been the low level (and sometimes high level) of pain that I have been in.  Those of you who know me on Facebook know that I have been having a lot of troubles with my back lately.  The pain has been intense and I have not been able to help take care of Skyler.  This next Thursday the 27th I will be getting a series of 4 shots into the L4-L5 and L5-S1 vertebra to see if that can give me any relief.  I certainly hope it does, because I can't live my life on muscle relaxers and narcotic pain killers.

Let me rephrase that...

I would love to live my life on narcotic pain killers.  But I can't, because on occasion I need to think and shit like that...


For those of you into the mechanics of the back, the red arrow shows the lack of a disk between L4-L5, and the two blue arrows show the disks that are bulged out.

So what else is going on besides back stuff?  Well, Kathy has been having to pick up the slack from me not being able to lift Skyler.  She has been nice about it but her patience is wearing thin.  She wants her helper back so she can do the things she likes to do.  What didn't go over big was Mr Pain killer brain here reminding her that I could be working in an office and gone all day, so she is still lucky to have my help.

Seems she doesn't see things that way... Oh well, my bad.  Every time I open my mouth, I just dig further down...

We recently spent 4500 bucks to get a new transmission put into my car, the Volvo wagon.  Well guess what just rolled to the side of the road with the check engine light on?  Yep, more problems now.  Car place is closed until after Christmas, so yay us.

On the work front, our small business team has just transitioned all of the work to a team in China.  All of the engineers, testers, project management folks are working on new stuff.  They left us writers with the old team, and said there will be plenty of opportunities coming along.  Thanks very much, got any lube while you bend me over the desk?

I am trying to stay positive but that doesn't seem to be working out for me.  All the crap seems to be hitting at once, and when I am in a whole lot of pain, I don't deal with it well.  I have often said I don't understand how people can commit suicide.  I have never thought it could get that bad.  Now don't worry, I am not going to off myself, but I can honestly say that I can see why now.  I can understand how that might seem like an alternative.

Happy holidays and ho-fucking-ho.



23 comments:

  1. Rats. Sorry things are going so badly. I hope they look up soon. Sending good vibes and virtual hugs.

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    1. Thanks a lot Shortstuff, wish I recognized your blogname but I don't. Let me know who you are.

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    2. leslie. We're FB Friends.

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  2. I hope the injections work. You really need to catch a break soon.

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    1. I totally second that. So sorry to hear about your troubles Chris.
      Cute hubby has had his share of back trauma, so I know where you are coming from, and I understand Kathy's frustration. I've bought two separate houses while hubby was having back operations. Houses that he never saw until we were already moved in. Two separate times of downsizing to make ends meet. The third time, they wouldn't operate because he's got so much scar tissue.
      With all my heart, I hope you heal fast.
      xo d

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    2. Thanks a lot Scope and Diane.

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  3. Pain Killer Mind really does not work doing any kind of loving thinking actions and words too well. But at the same time it must take off a lil of the edge of life saying it is time to have full Prostate Exam! I am sorry that you have had so much happening right now. Sure can understand the overwhelming anxiety of it all. Thinking of you and praying for quick proactive results.

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  4. (((HUGS)))

    It sucks when everything hits the fan all at once. But hopefully 2013 is your year! Wouldn't that be a change of pace and pretty damn nice? Crossing my fingers, toes and eyes!!!

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    1. Thanks SCG, I hope that 2013 goes much better.

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  5. Sorry to hear things are turning to suck.

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    1. I appreciate the thoughts Brewella.

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  6. I have issues with my back too, but not that severe. My "muscles are overused" and there's no help to get. I hope you get liberation from your pain! Sorry to hear everything's a mess right now, and you're right. Problems never occur alone. If you have one, there will be more to follow... On the bright side, this crap year is nearly at its end! 2013 better be good, this one sucked particularly bad. Best wishes over the holidays, and hope everything turns out well!

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    1. Thanks Annika, always nice to hear from a fellow back-pain sufferer.

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  7. So sorry to hear you're in such pain. I'll be thinking of you and hoping things get better soon. Hang in there...

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    1. You know what would make me feel better? If you would take up blogging again!

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  8. (((hugs))) Hope the shots help quickly!

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    1. Thanks so much, I really appreciate it!

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  9. (((hugs))) Hope the shots help you quickly!

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  10. Oh, Sky Dad, you SO don't deserve any of this. I am so sorry. If I were local, I swear to God I would be knocking on your door to help you and Kathy out.

    As for the suicide revelation, crap, I get that. When I was in high school my dad went through some hard times and he was suicidal, threatening to throw himself off the top of his work building, etc. I thought he was such a selfish ass.... until I had my spinal problem and couldn't take care of myself and was drowning in medical bills, etc, then--BOOM--I understood it. Not that I wanted to do it, just that I understood how someone could get to a place like that where they felt things would never get better. I didn't think I would ever get my life back in order and that things would suck forever, but I was sooooooooooooo wrong about that! I guess my point is that you never know what's around the corner. Never. And, dammit, you, sir, are due for some good fortune to rain down on you!!!!

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    1. Thank you so much Cora, that means a lot.

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  11. Dude...where have I been? :( I hope you're doing better now and not in seering agony and stress. I suck at giving upbeat advice and saying the right thing, so I'm just going to say that you are awesome and you will all be okay. Sorry this is SO LATE.

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    1. Awww Veggie, I love you! (and that's just not the pain med talking...)

      I am doing better now after the second set of injections in my back. They numbed up the disk area on both sides so it is blocking the pain. Thanks my friend!

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