Jun 30, 2009

It's Another Edition of Bat-Tat Tuesday!

To help honor the passing of the great Ed McMahon, let's all give it our best Heeeeyyyoooooo, and a big "Here's Bat-Tat's!"

Today's collection is all about the family. What could be bad about that you ask? How about when the art works sucks so bad your little bundle of joy winds up looking more like the spawn of Satan?

Witness the following "art" collections, and if you are feeling like you might hurl, please pull over and roll down the damn window.

It still smells like upchuck in here after the last collection.


I am trying to figure out if the nipple plays a part in this piece, not quite sure...



How precious, twin Linda Blair's. I wonder if they can coordinate their head spins?



I can only assume photographic evidence was needed when he sued the tat artist.



At least Courtney got top billing before Country and Star Wars, but here face didn't make the final cut. Come on, it was that or loose the Tie Fighter, what are you gonna do?



The old "It was a Dingo that ate my baby" story pales in comparison to getting eaten by an armpit shark.



Oh come on. That's not even close to being human!



Last but not least, the kids as Star Wars characters (I think) with an additional touch of Thugs for Life. Ain't that just grand?

That's all for this edition today folks, please pick up the home edition of Bat Tat Tuesday on your way out.

See you next time! Heeeyyyoooo!!!

Jun 28, 2009

Back when men were men, and drugs were legal!

Good day readers, I stumbled across a treasure of wonderful old advertisements for drugs from the olden days that I had to share with you.

Actually, most are from the old days, but some were advertised as late as the 60's and 70's!

Check this stuff out, it is amazing that most was just sold over the counter. Our grandparents never complained of pain and problems, they had the good drugs! Hell, I am impressed my grandparents could remember their names...



In the US, cocaine was sold over the counter until 1914 and was commonly found in products like toothache drops, dandruff remedies and medicinal tonics


Coca wine combined wine with cocaine, producing a compound now known as cocaethylene, which, when ingested, is nearly as powerful a stimulant as cocaine.


The marketing efforts for coca wine focused primarily on its medicinal properties, in part because it didn't taste very good and in part because the cocaethylene effects were perceived to "fortify and refresh body and brain" and "restore health and vitality."


Coke not getting the job done for you? Well fear not, we have some stronger stuff available!
From 1898 through to 1910, heroin was marketed as a cough suppressant by trusted companies like Bayer -- alongside the company's other new product, Aspirin.

Hmmm, Asprin or Heroin, Asprin or Heroin...



Not to be outdone by those bastards over at Bayer, Smith Glyco found a mixture of heroin and glycerin. "No other preparation has had its therapeutic value more thoroughly defined or better established."


You know Doc, my morphine isn't working as well as it had in the past. Well then, how about some injectable Opium? Doc asks, "You don't have any problem with using needles at home do you?"


Don't you love the little tykes holding the big bottle of magic stuff? Depending on which list of contents you reference, this cure for colds, coughs and "all diseases of the throat and lungs" contained either morphine or heroin.


I think I want some "teething pain syrup". Contained 65 mg of morphine per fluid ounce!


Because really, what could be better for Asthma than a smoke? "Not recommended for children under 6."




Before they concentrated their efforts on good old boys, beer companies marketed to nursing mothers. No wonder I love my beer so much...

Random Quackery:


A "cure for Dyspepsia, Low Spirits, Nervousness, Heartburn, Colic Pains, Wind in the Stomach or Pains in the Bowels, Headache, Drowsiness, Kidney and Liver Complaints, Melancholy, Delirium Tremens, and Intemperance."


From right out of hell itself, "A speedy & permanent cure for headache, toothache, neuralgia, catarrh and weak nerves."


Say Mary, how do I get me some of that great shit?

Let's move up to more present time.
Ah yes, but remember, it wasn't all old timey drugs and quackery. Some of this was marketed right up to the 70's!


Brand name for butabarbital. "Mabel is unstable...it's 'that time' in her life. To see her through the menopause, there's gentle 'daytime sedation' in Butisol Sodium."


There's our old buddy the "lude" making it's appearance. Brand name for the now-illegal sedative methaqualone. "Now the physician has one less tired, sleepy and apprehensive patient to contend with."


Been eating too much? Try some Black Beauties...


Come in out of the dark with Meth...
Brand name for methamphetamine. "The selective cerebral action of Norodin is useful in dispelling the shadows of mild mental depression."


Brand name for dextroamphetamine. "Many of your patients -- particularly housewives -- are crushed under a load of dull, routine duties that leave them in a state of mental and emotional fatigue...Dexedrine will give them a feeling of energy and well-being, renewing their interest in life and living."


This is one of my favorites. If they are too young to swallow the harsh drugs, we have suppositories...
Brand name for pentobarbital. "When little patients balk at scary, disquieting examinations...When they need prompt sedation (and the oral route isn't feasible)...try Nembutal sodium suppositories...There is little tendency toward morning-after hangover."


When crisis demands quick-acting hypnotics." Doc! It's a crisis! I said it's a fucking CRISIS!!!


Gramps chasing you with his cane again? Keep that supply of Thorazine handy.

Jun 26, 2009

Gabe Perez is Fucking Awesome!!

When you plan something out for over 4 years of school, you are officially awesome!

Jun 25, 2009

The Children' Guide to Growing Up!

Let's join young Billy as he learns about his body! Definitely not safe for work.

There are so many good lines in here you won't be able to keep track. Prepare to snort:

Jun 24, 2009

This is an amazing ad

If you haven't figured it out yet, I tend to surf just a bit. I also have a lot of friends out there that send me links, pictures, stories and tons of goodies that I love. And when I get these links, I tend to backtrack a bit just to see what the site is all about.

I stumbled across one link a couple of days ago that simply stated it was "One of the best local ads". I couldn't see the URL it advertised so I went hunting and found it on youtube.

Here are the comments on the page:

"Funeral" is a new TV commerical launched by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) which looks at relationships in a different light, through a woman at her husband's funeral. Ultimately, the TVC celebrates the beautiful imperfections that make a relationship perfect. This is fresh off MCYS latest Viewers' Choice 2008 win for last year's Family TVC which promotes the importance and value of family bonding.

I have to tell you, I shed more than a few tears at this, it has one hell of an impact.
Check it out.

Jun 23, 2009

Everything's Better with Bacon!

Not enough tats came in from my usual sources (you know who you are, you slackers) so Bat Tat Tuesday has been replaced this week by Everything is Better with Bacon.

Because honestly, in these tough times can't we all use a bit more bacon?

I thought so!


Haven't seen this wonderful menu item at my local Mickey-D's.

I would never stop licking my lips!


Complete with a bottle of Wild Turkey. This is my version of the breakfast of champions!


Mmmm, meat candy. Someday I want to be known by this name.



I would even eat it raw...


If you like it with chocolate, order a bacon bar.



Have a cut? Cover it with bacon.


Someday when I am rich and powerful, I will go to my high priced job with one of these sweet bacon briefcases.


And I will buy you all a round when I whip out my bacon wallet.


After dining we can pick our tooths (yeah that was on purpose, see what I did there?) with bacon tooth picks.


Finally, we can freshen up our breath with these wonderful mints.



But how do I get all this deliciousness delivered to my house you ask? It easy - the meat cycle!

Jun 22, 2009

Little Red Riding Hood as Explained by Engineers

Sit back and get your geek on people! First thing you want to do is turn down the horrid music, it adds nothing to the story. Next click on full screen so you can see all of the way cool geekness.

Full screen looks like this to those not in the know...


SlagsmÄlsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

We have the only Lab in the world who can't swim

Our new girl, Montana, just might be the only Chocolate Lab around who never got the hang of swimming. I mean come on, I have see lots of dogs afraid of the water or ones who never got the hang of swimming. But a Lab? Isn't that buried deep down in the DNA along with barking at a squirrel?

Several attempts have been made at trying to get her to be a bit more friendly with the water, and she really likes running in it and splashing around. As a matter of fact, now that it is getting warmer, you can hardly keep her out of it. But... only as long as she can touch the bottom. Once she starts the physical act of swimming, she resembles a drowning Zebra with a Lion attached to her neck. There is much thrashing of the front legs, splashing aimlessly and yelping.

And that's just me trying to hold on to her... Bada Bump, crash! Thank you, I'll be here all week, be sure to tip your waitress.

But we have a plan, one that I am sure is rock solid. Much like the great Olympic swimmers must have started out with:


















Just look at Yordi staring at her in disbelief!

Jun 19, 2009

The Meaning of Words

From my Gym friend Chuck, this was a nice email to start the day with!


Best Friends



Compassion


Departure


Divine


Friendship



Innocence



Love


Music


Pain


Rescued


Respect


Solitude


Sorrow


Strangers


Togetherness


Unconditional Love