Oct 17, 2008

Happy Friday

It's been a long week here around the Sky-Dad Fortress of Solitude, and I thought I would clean out some old drawers that were building up with blog fodder.

First off, a 3 for 1 special on quick jokes!

Sex

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:

'Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'

Church

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'

The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'

The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'

The preacher said, 'No shit?'

Pancakes

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm
pan cakes in the middle of the table.

'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'

'Just take two,' Brenda replied . 'The rest are for your father.


And then we have the return of the bad tat series:



I don't care how much you love NASCAR, you're gonna have to tighten up the canvas there girl!

Finally, always remember, your job could be worse...

7 comments:

  1. hee! Just what the doc ordered!! (pancakes, ay? I wonder if we have any Bisquick...??)

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  2. You stopped my laughing with that last one!

    Thanks for the Friday laughs....and the knowledge that I have a *very* good job! LOL

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  3. That guy standing to the side of the elephant isn't smiling, he must be next in line.

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  4. That last picture is of one of our commanders and our chief at the last golf outing.

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  5. Eeewww bad tat lady. Its overflowing like a muffin top. And whats with the two straps? Man, their gonna drag on the floor when she's 50!!

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  6. I'm sorry - I lost my watch in there. No need to know the details.

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  7. I can always count on you for some good laughs.

    You would have to be a complete, mindless, dumbass to take that job. ewwwww

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