Oct 16, 2008

I am channeling Bubs today

Not to steal his ideas, but my friend Russ sent this lovely story in that there E-lektronik mail stuff today:




Sheriff: Family Cremates Mom On BBQ, Keeps Benefits

Daughter Fashioned Necklace From Mom's Skull, Detectives Say

The family of a dead elderly woman cremated her remains on a makeshift barbecue and continued collecting her retirement checks amounting to more than $25,000, authorities in Northern California said. Ramona Allmond's daughter and grandson were arrested Sunday on suspicion of embezzlement, elder abuse and disposing of a body without a permit.Allmond, 84, likely died of natural causes, though investigators were still trying to determine the exact cause of death, said Tehama County sheriff's Capt. Paul Hosler.Allmond's daughter, Kathleen Allmond, 50, and Allmond's grandson, Tony Ray, 30, told investigators their relative died in December. They left her body on her bedroom floor for a week before cremating the remains in their backyard fire pit, Hosler said.

Investigators said the two kept collecting Allmond's monthly retirement checks, amounting to more than $25,000. Sheriff's Detective Richard Knox said they may have been trying to honor Allmond's desire to die at home and be cremated.The two were arrested after Allmond's son grew suspicious about her whereabouts.Both were in jail in lieu of bail, with arraignment scheduled for Thursday. The sheriff's department said they do not yet have attorneys.Detectives say the daughter also fashioned a two-inch piece of her mother's skull into a necklace."It gets really weird when you have a piece of mom's skull hanging around your neck," said sheriff's Capt. Paul Hosler. "I'm not aware of any religion that allows you to burn your family members in the backyard and collect their pension."According to investigators, the two burned the woman's body in a concrete culvert. Weeks earlier, they had used the same culvert to build a fire to cook their Thanksgiving turkey.

10 comments:

  1. Did they say how much lighter fluid they had to use?

    I kid...I kid.

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  2. Family values!

    Is that some kind of tatoo on the son's forehead? Are they both wearing dreadlocks? So many questions...

    Of course, because this didn't happen in Wisconsin, we can be pretty confident that they didn't f*ck or eat the corpse along the way.

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  3. Suze: I wondered the same thing!

    Bubs: It is a tat, but I blew it up and still can't make it out. It looks like a beehive, but I am ure that isn't gangsta enough.

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  4. I really don't even know what to say, except "tastes like chicken" ?

    I know, I know, that one fell short. Listen, it's already 3pm. You have to catch me earlier if you want wit.

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  5. I'm not aware of any religion that allows you to burn your family members in the backyard and collect their pension either, but even if there was one, I probably wouldn't attend their services...

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  6. If they had used a Webber, they'd have been home free. Nothing cooks like a Webber.

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  8. "It gets really weird when you have a piece of mom's skull hanging around your neck," said sheriff's Capt. Paul Hosler.

    Hey-- they were just trying to follow Dr. Hunter S. Thompson's advice: "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Just like Jim Thorpe, didn't they offically become pro when they accepted money?

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  9. Dat ole black magic got me in it's spell.

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