Nov 25, 2009

An open letter to Ms. "Fierce" in front of me at Starbucks



Hey bitch! Yeah you, Ms. Bluetooth. there are people back waiting for you to shut your pie-hole and order. Are you really that important Ms. Jungle print? Nah, I didn't think so...

Now let's move on to that toothpick you are working. I have no fucking idea what it is you are trying to pry loose, but from the sucking sounds, I am guessing an Antelope leg that you came across while foraging. You certainly didn't run it down based on the back fat spilling out over your damned bag!

Have you not been to a coffee shop in this decade? It's coffee, either drip or espresso. A few things added if you like, but why the hell are you asking the minimum wage drone to explain it all down to the fucking molecular level!?!

Ok, I am better now. I have my coffee, I have vented, and all is good.

13 comments:

  1. Dont' you mean you are better now that you've "Venti'd"?

    You're welcome.

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  2. Oh heyyyyy, I was gonna say that too Scope!!!

    Great minds think alike...

    hee hee, great rant!!!

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  3. you missed out on her Man hair...guess that is so she can blend in with the hunting parties out in the wild.

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  4. LOL...I hate to say it but I could be her, at least to the point of asking a ton of questions. Mainly because I rarely go to a coffee place because I usually drink tea...so I have to ask questions to make sure I'll get something I'll like. BUT, if there is a line forming behind me I'll just order a hot chocolate or tell them they can go first.
    The toothpick is just disgusting!

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  5. Look man, she special orders those animal print shirts. And she needs to make sure the new one will be delivered before Thanksgiving. Step off.

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  6. WOW! That's an interesting get up she's wearing. Or is that a he?

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  7. Remind me never to come between you and your coffee!

    (Seriously, she sounds horrible!)

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  8. I'm with Lynette, looks more like a man in drag to me.

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  9. I had juice this morning at Einstein Bagel. So no coffee hysteria this morning for me. Or any other day. I drink *tea*. Oh, the shame.

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  10. That's funny, because she later drove all the way to Chicago, and got in front of me in the self-checkout lanes at Jewel's, a grocery store. She's apparently never used a self-checkout and took ten minutes to check out one item. And then another ten minutes standing there rearranging her handbag.

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  11. I love you, SkyDad!

    Umm, in a totally non-romantic 'You're funnier than sh!t' kind of way, of course!

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  12. Wow - excellent venting - out of character and I wholly approve ;)

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