Jan 4, 2012

Quick Joke

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.
It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it let alone turn it on
even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real
bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when
you really need it, you can’t get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive
to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price,
but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases
with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that
the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one,
and replace it each year.

6 folks wondered why they were here:

Trooper Thorn said...

It's amazing how much baggage they coem with.

Scope said...

Be sure to get insurance before getting into one. I hear you want full protection before taking one for a ride.

But on the upside, I hear in Colorado, you can use the studded rubbers or chains sometimes. That's been deemed illegal in Illinois.

Scope said...

And for you women out there, how about a poem from that esteemed poet, e e cummings:

she being Brand

-new;and you
know consequently a
little stiff I was
careful of her and (having

thoroughly oiled the universal
joint tested my gas felt of
her radiator made sure her springs were O.

K.)i went right to it flooded-the-carburetor cranked her

up,slipped the
clutch (and then somehow got into reverse she
kicked what
the hell) next
minute i was back in neutral tried and

again slo-wly;bare,ly nudg. ing(my

lev-er Right-
oh and her gears being in
A 1 shape passed
from low through
second-in-to-high like
greasedlightning) just as we turned the corner of Divinity

avenue i touched the accelerator and give

her the juice,good

(it
was the first ride and believe I we was
happy to see how nice and acted right up to
the last minute coming back down by the Public
Gardens I slammed on
the

internalexpanding
&
externalcontracting
breaks Bothatonce and

brought allofher tremB
-ling
to a:dead.

stand-
;Still)

SkylersDad said...

You can't see me out here Scope, but I ran and got a black beret and am sitting here in the dimly lit room snapping my fingers as you recited that!

Scope said...

Back when I was a college freshman, my future best man gave an oral interpretation of that poem in Rhetoric class.

Skoobie Doo, Skydaddy-O...

diane said...

Clearly I shouldn't be here right now.