Jan 4, 2012

Quick Joke

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.
It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it let alone turn it on
even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real
bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when
you really need it, you can’t get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive
to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price,
but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases
with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that
the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.

This model is not expected to reach collector status. Most owners find it is best to lease one,
and replace it each year.

6 comments:

  1. It's amazing how much baggage they coem with.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Be sure to get insurance before getting into one. I hear you want full protection before taking one for a ride.

    But on the upside, I hear in Colorado, you can use the studded rubbers or chains sometimes. That's been deemed illegal in Illinois.

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  3. And for you women out there, how about a poem from that esteemed poet, e e cummings:

    she being Brand

    -new;and you
    know consequently a
    little stiff I was
    careful of her and (having

    thoroughly oiled the universal
    joint tested my gas felt of
    her radiator made sure her springs were O.

    K.)i went right to it flooded-the-carburetor cranked her

    up,slipped the
    clutch (and then somehow got into reverse she
    kicked what
    the hell) next
    minute i was back in neutral tried and

    again slo-wly;bare,ly nudg. ing(my

    lev-er Right-
    oh and her gears being in
    A 1 shape passed
    from low through
    second-in-to-high like
    greasedlightning) just as we turned the corner of Divinity

    avenue i touched the accelerator and give

    her the juice,good

    (it
    was the first ride and believe I we was
    happy to see how nice and acted right up to
    the last minute coming back down by the Public
    Gardens I slammed on
    the

    internalexpanding
    &
    externalcontracting
    breaks Bothatonce and

    brought allofher tremB
    -ling
    to a:dead.

    stand-
    ;Still)

    ReplyDelete
  4. You can't see me out here Scope, but I ran and got a black beret and am sitting here in the dimly lit room snapping my fingers as you recited that!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Back when I was a college freshman, my future best man gave an oral interpretation of that poem in Rhetoric class.

    Skoobie Doo, Skydaddy-O...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Clearly I shouldn't be here right now.

    ReplyDelete