Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps

Avs' Konowalchuk Retires, Cites Health Condition The hardest working man on the Avs had to hang up the skates today due to a genetic health condition that can cause an irregular heartbeat. So long Kono, you will be missed by all of us fans. See more here

Last Saturday, we decided to replace our female black lab mix, Bailey, who passed away in January from bone cancer. Our other dog, a mixture of Border Collie, possible Lab and whatever, seemed to be ready for a new friend, and we had always had dogs in pairs. That's when we heard about a Border Collie rescue and applied to get a dog from them. We figured we would help out a dog in need. So we made arrangements to meet Jordi (pronounced Yor-dee) at a park and see how the two hit it off. Well, they got along great, and we came home with a slightly larger version of a pup than what we were thinking of, he is a Border Collie Newfoundland mix! Yeah, that's right, Newfy... He is 14 months and as big as Hootie, but a real sweetheart of a dog. He had never been on grass, possibly not even indoors, and he is learning the house rules pretty quick. Here is Jordi and Hootie together in the backyard, with mom holding them for the photo op, Jordi on the right:

From Robot Chicken via DevilDucky, comes this great bit about the Star Trek regular cast members beaming down with the "expendable redshirt"... Check it out here

Iowa Woman Finds Drowned Bat in Tea Mug By Associated Press CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - A western Iowa woman is recovering from the shock of finding a drowned bat in her tea mug _ after she sipped from the cup all day. The brown bat, about the size of two tea bags, was found a few weeks ago by a 60-year-old Woodbury County woman, said Chuck Cipperley, an environmental director for the Siouxland health office in Sioux City. "I knew the person, so I knew it was no joke," said Cipperley, who took the call from the woman. The woman, who declined to identify herself, told Cipperley she found the bat when she was cleaning out the mug at night. She said she put the bat in a plastic bag before alerting the Siouxland health office the next morning. Cipperley said the bat was sent that day _ Sept. 1 _ to the University Hygienic Laboratory in Coralville. Results showed the bat did not have rabies. State Epidemiologist Patricia Quinlisk said had the bat been rabid, the woman p...

I had a call last night from my sister. It was my dads birthday, and he would have been 80 this year. So we were both a little down and were talking about things. After we hung up it got me to thinking about our growing up together and how cool she was to me. It was funny, we never fought and always got along really well. People would ask me about that when conversations came up about not getting along with their siblings. I mean, isn't it a given fact that siblings fight? Well, not really in our case. My sister never gave me any grief in High School when I was one of those pukey freshman and she was a Junior, and I always tried hard not to be the little brother who embarrassed her. Then all these years later, after our dad had passed away and mom was sick, she and her husband made the sacrifice of moving back in with her and taking care of her until she passed away. She has had her share of grief, and yet always thinks of others, and helps me in more ways than even she understands...

Sorry, that will be my only NRA reference... From AP via Comcast, now I hear that Fox is running a 30-second television spot with just one static image in an effort to reach viewers who fast forward through ads using digital video recorders like TiVos. And this is supposed to prevent me from skipping commercials how? The best part is later in the news item: Advertisers also have begun experimenting. Earlier this year, KFC Corp. promised coupons at its restaurants to viewers who could identify a secret code only visible when its commercials were replayed in slow motion. Suuurrreee, like a coupon to a crap place like KFC is enough of an incentive to get me to go SLOW MOTION through their lame commercials. Check out the rest here if you like...

From YouTube, via PistolWimp, comes this extremely educational piece on how to talk like a pirate ! Ya know, just in case it ever come up...

Found these recently on a humor site and thought they were pretty good, that is if you are somewhat geeky like myself... signature files from Geeks: Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. Error: Sector not found -- search behind couch? (Y/N) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay... Beta testers who lie! Next time on Geraldo! Finish the project. We'll buy you a new family. Frequent lock ups are a symptom of not enough memory but only in the way that nosebleeds are a symptom of gunshot wounds to the head. I thought I had a back-up, but she refused to type it in again. If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce today would cost $100, get a million miles to the gallon, and explode once every few weeks, killing everyone inside. Life's unfair - but root password helps! Mac OS X. Because making Unix user-friendly is ...

A Braniff Air video about how we are supposed to be flying these days... Via PistolWimp

Got the results from a 5K race we ran last weekend for charity, and my wife Kathy and I both won the "masters" division! So the moral of the story is, if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually you wear the other bastards down! Or is there supposed to be a better moral??? DDRC Harvest Festival 5 Mile/3 Mile Run Walk North Jeffco Park, Arvada, CO. Sunday, September 10th, 2006 DDRC 3 MILE RUN AGE GROUP RESULTS ¸ If you cannot find your results in your age group please look in the 99-99 category. ø ********** MALE OVERALL RESULTS *********** 1 BILL SMITHHAM 62 21:38 7:13 2 ZACHARY PETRIE 10 ARVADA CO 22:52 7:38 3 DAVID WYPERD 14 ARVADA CO 25:40 8:34 ...

From the Denver Post, Raul Gomez-Garcia went to the Salon Ocampo social hall on May 8, 2005, his single purpose was to shoot two Denver police officers in the back. Gomez-Garcia said he only wanted to embarrass the officers, he figured they were wearing vests. After getting booted from a baptismal party at Salon Ocampo social hall, he went home, thought about it, came back with a gun and fired 3 shots at Detective Donnie Young killing him, and his partner Detective Jack Bishop, was hit in the vest by one bullet and survived. He does all of this because his friends " kept making fun of me, and asking, 'What are you going to do?'" This is so fucking amazing to me, I just can't believe it! This is his defense? I was made fun of, and I thought they had vests on?!? I really hope this guy doesn't get the death penalty and has to do time in a cell with some dude named "bubba"...

Via crooks and liars, Keith Olbermann blasts President Bush in his latest " Special Comment " section on Countdown. I only wish I could write like this...

3 funny ads from an insurance company in Bankok! Check it out

My old home town of Idaho Springs up in Clear Creek county has the highest life expectancy according to a study in the online science journal PLoS Medicine. I guess they didn't factor in all of the stupid things we did up there like 4 wheeling while drunk, exploring old mines, and racing side by side on mountain roads... Here is the story

Lewis Black, from the Daily Show and Colbert Report, rants about video games

I recently found an old link to a submission I made to the National Fathers Network that I wrote around the time Skyler turned 6. That was almost 10 years ago, and even Skylers recent bouts with being a teen haven't changed my mind about what a wonderful gift he continues to be in our lives. So if you don't mind taking a minute out of your day, here is how it all started... Best wishes, Chris

"Creating your own blog is about as easy as creating your own urine, and you're about as likely to find someone else interested in it." Ouch! Read about it at Wired News ...

From AP, via Comcast, comes this tidbit... You must really have to make a call bad to stick a cell up the old poop shoot...

Incredible commercial from Germany, about the sheer quantity of power that arrives from the sun each day. From Joseph Kahn via devilDucky. Check it out

Holly Valance in Dead or Alive shows us how to kick ass while putting on her bra, a scene I really wanted to see in Kill Bill...

More brilliance from the Daily Show. Steve Carell, representing Islam, and Stephen Colbert, represending Christianity, attempt to find middle ground. From a Daily Show segment, "Even Steph(v)en". Check it

This is such an addictive game. It should be easy, but I keep messing up! So, how well do you think you can park a car??? Test Drive

1. Indecision is the key to flexibility. 2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track. 3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. 4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain. 5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 6. Sometimes too much to drink is not enough 7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant. 8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication. 9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world. 10. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before. 11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for. 12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler. 13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. 14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense. 15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism. 16. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody 17. All things being equal, fat people use more soap. 18. ...

One of our friends, Annette, who used to swim on my wife's Masters swim team, is going to attempt a double crossing of the English Channel on a relay team. And get this, she has already done a solo crossing. Read more here , and rock on Annette!

From Yahoo news: EW YORK (AFP) - Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to show their baby daughter off in public, but eager fans were given an unusual preview with the chance to see a bronze cast depicting her first solid stool. This seems too strange to be real.