Jul 28, 2008

Growing old

We got back into town from Bellevue Washington on Saturday afternoon. This has been a trip that has just sucked the life force right out of me. Kathy's whole family is from there, and only Kathy moved away many years ago. The rest of the family, two older sisters, a younger brother and spouses are all still up there.

Why then does Kathy have to be the one to organize care and take the bull by the horns?

Kathy's mom is not doing well, there are multiple health issues going on with her. The latest is Cancer that has spread from a breast to a tumor on the side of her heart. She is too weak to have any kind of treatment, so she is home now, kind of on a home hospice deal. But, she doesn't like the term hospice, and isn't giving up, so it is the word of which we don't speak.

Kathy's dad has his own set of problems, from having a pacemaker with a built in defibrillator (makes for an interesting event when that kicks in), to colon cancer. His turn for surgery is coming up in a couple of weeks. When he goes into the hospital, Kathy's mom will need a lot of care. When he gets home, he will need care as well. So what does the family think is a good idea?

Kathy comes back out to stay with them for a week to 10 days, because you know, she doesn't work or anything...

I want to offer any of them this deal. Come out here and take care of Skyler for a week, while Kathy is out there. I don't think anybody could handle it. I tell you, it is all I can do to keep out of it an keep my mouth shut.

Thanks for listening to me vent, sorry, I now return to my kinder more jovial self.

Skyler had some fun seeing his family, and especially his favorite cousin Kirsten. I have written about Kirsten before, she is the one we all want to be when we grow up. She teaches snowboarding and skiing at Mt Baker during the winter, and guides raft trips and climbs mountains during the summer. Everything she does, she does well. She is naturally talented and as kind as a person can be, and she "gets" Skyler. She came out to Colorado several years ago to go to a camp with him as his aide.



Here is Kirsten, Skyler and me sitting out back of Kathy's next oldest sisters house one afternoon. We drove out to their place to say hi and see her husbands work on his recording studio he is building. It is the 8th wonder of the world! Huge rooms with amazing sound dampening construction.



One large recording room, two smaller ones, a control room and other rooms for people to hang out in and watch. The main room has 155 sound inputs!!



Lets see, what else did we do? Not too much, hung out at a couple of local coffee shops being a cliche:







And Skyler liked his rental van a lot. We have to rent an accessible van for him now because he is too big to get in and out of a regular seat.





My next post will be about the price of homes there. We took some walks and nabbed a bunch of those real estate brochures out in front of houses. Holy shit! Doesn't look like the housing market has problems there!

18 comments:

  1. Holy hell, that's a lot of crap to deal with, isn't it? Clueless relatives don't make a difficult situation any easier.

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  2. Looks like you guys had a great time! Skyler has the most infectious smile EVER.

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  3. How did this happen? You were in the neighborhood??? Come ON! First you, and now I find out that Whiskeymarie is in the area right now. I was not notified! How are we all supposed to get together and talk bloggy stuff when no one notifies me?!

    Glad you had the good weather though. And yes - housing prices are astounding.

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  4. I go through the same crap within my own family. It really pisses me off to watch how "family members" can behave when a parent is ill.

    I am glad Skyler looks happy!

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  5. Jesus, just READING this sucked the life outta ME, and I'm pretty damned x-hausted from my new job hauling endless amounts of kitty litter and dog food. I had the day off yesterday and slept for nigh on 13 hours straight and when I woke up my legs and hands were STILL stiff and tired.

    Whoo. Whadda mess. I can understand folken who are sick wanting a lil' extra help 'round th' house while they're getting on their feet, but c'mon people! Let's get serious here!!

    On the happier notes, that Skyler biz is great! Any van with a sunroof has GOT to be a good'un and Kirsten seems like an absolute peach. I'm glad there was at least SOME good stuff to balance out th' cray-yapp!!

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  6. Welcome back. It looks like Skyler had a blast. I'm sorry to hear about your in-laws and the major health issues. That really sucks - as well as the solution to Kathy going back out. Aaah, family.

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  7. I hate when people think that stay at home moms/dads don't work, especially when you a child with special needs.

    Great pics.

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  8. Family.....I have one like Kathy's....everyone to busy to help becasue they do not want to deal with the fact someone they love is ill....it sucks....and who said you had to be quite.....I would nicely tell all family memebers they need to help.....all memebers have busy lives.....so no excuses....suggest a schedule,perhaps Kathy or you can speak to the social worker at the hospital and get some asstance a few hours a day too.....I did that for my dad and father in law....the visiting nurse helped alot.....hugs to you and Kathy...

    Skylar's smile is fabulous....I like your's too in the picture...

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  9. Family.....I have one like Kathy's....everyone to busy to help becasue they do not want to deal with the fact someone they love is ill....it sucks....and who said you had to be quite.....I would nicely tell all family memebers they need to help.....all memebers have busy lives.....so no excuses....suggest a schedule,perhaps Kathy or you can speak to the social worker at the hospital and get some asstance a few hours a day too.....I did that for my dad and father in law....the visiting nurse helped alot.....hugs to you and Kathy...

    Skylar's smile is fabulous....I like your's too in the picture...

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  10. members...I mean't ....some ytimes I can't spell correctly or memebers...hehehe

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  11. It's always the people isn't it? Good or bad.

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  12. That's pretty insensitive to think that Kathy has the time when they know Skyler's condition.

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  13. i am so sorry to hear about your inlaws and all the grief and tsoris surrounding it......

    thank heavens for your niece - what a gem.....and i hope skyler had a good time...

    seattle is a ridiculously expensive city.

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  14. I sure hope the smile you have in the photo sticks with you. I know what an awful drain it can be to have family health issues and trying to work out looking after each other, just not on the grand scale that you are facing.

    I tell you what, let Kathy look after her mom and dad, and I'll come out and hang with you and Skyler. We can get some beer and pizza and watch the whole series of "Police Academy" movies. That ought to keep us busy for a week or so. They made at least a dozen of those right?

    Glad to hear you are back, but I wish the news was better. God bless and take care. We're all pulling for you.

    Doc

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  15. Skyler's mom doesn't work? By who's standards? That's crazy talk.

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  16. Looks and sounds like fun.

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  17. I hope her mother improves.

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  18. Now I need to convince the Girl that we need to build in-home sound studios here.I don't think that will go well. But it sure would look cool.

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