Dec 7, 2009

We Interrupt Bad Tat Tuesday for an Important Announcement!

I am a winner! Wheeee, I never get the right numbers on lotto tickets, or pick the right dog at the track, or bribe the right NBA official so my team wins. So imagine my surprise when Jeanne over at The Raisin Chronicles told me I was a winner!!

That's right folks, your old buddy Sky-Dad pulled in the prestigious From Me To You award:

Ain't she a beauty?

With this award comes great responsibility, namely answering questions on a meme. The original was "7 Things You Don't Know About Me", but Jeannie has improved upon this and changed it to "7 Things That Are Hard To Do".

I like this version more since I have already answered several questions about myself, and I am sure that the rest of blogdom out there is tired of hearing about my one extra long pubic hair...

So here we go with 7 things that are hard to do:

1) Since it's Christmas season and I will be soon starting to do this, I will say wrapping presents. Unless my gift comes in a perfectly square box, my gift wrapping sucks big time. I usually tear paper or wind up leaving a part of a finger in the wrapping paper.

2) Painting a straight line. You want me to paint? Then turn me loose outside with a sprayer, but don't let me near your floorboards. I get more on myself than I get on the damn wall!

3) Drive the speed limit. I have a bit of a heavy foot, and let's face it, aren't those side street speed limit signs more of a general guideline than a true speed limit?

4) Watch reality TV shows. I have tried, and my wife really likes Amazing Race. I want to be supportive and enjoy it with her, but the constant back stabbing and bickering on these shows kills me! And where do they find these people? I wish for the commercial to get there so I can watch professional actors.

5) Not swear. I have tried, damn it I have tried, but I can't stop dropping f bombs and using my "Navy words". It's a good thing I have a non-verbal son, or I would have had a lot of explaining to do in grade school.

6) Eat healthy. I try, but I do love me some fat in my food! And chocolate is my biggest downfall. Well that and lard... and fried food... and beer... Mmmmm beeeeer. What was I talking about?

7) Be serious. This is very difficult for me. (Oh really? how did I not know this until now Sky-Dad?) I have to make fun of life, and laugh and kid about things. Because if I don't, life catches up with me and I get to serious and depressed. And sometimes I think that if I ever let it all sink in, I will start crying and never stop. Because it is hard, damn hard.

Now you know that with memes comes the pass-along and tagging, which I am generally against. I like to let people do this if they wish to, so have at it people.


  1. Re: your list...

    1) I play dumb and let mom do it.

    2) I can't even do it with pen and paper.

    3) I passed a cop on the freeway going 75 mph. 'Nuf said.

    4) I watched the 1st season but stopped after that. If I want to watch people bitch, I just have to wait til my sister comes over. ; )

    5) What the #*$& are you talking about?

    6) I'm trying but, damn, it's hard (now that my appetite is back).

    7) If I didn't make fun of life, I'd probably lay down and die.

    My list...

    1) Walk. *snort*

    2) Have patience with my brother (you know which one).

    3) Forgive my dad.

    4) Withstand cold weather (it's a good thing I live here and not there).

    5) Travel (but I love it...well, the destination).

    6) Sleep (I'm becoming an insomniac (again) now that I'm catching up on it).

    7) Resist memes. : )

  2. I've been meaning to ask you if you want to speed over to my house and watch that assfuck Top Chef show, while we eat fish and chips, drink Guinness, and wrap presents from handmade paper with straight painted lines on them.

  3. Humor takes the tension out of life. Well, some of it anyway.

    Now....could you stagger on over past that crooked line that somebody painted and wrap up some of these f*c&ing presents? I'm too busy stuffing my face with fried snickers whilst auditioning for a reality show. (See, the word whilst can still be used in the 21st century)

  4. 7 difficult things? OMG? Only 7
    well ok, the first ones that come to mind...
    painting my own toenails (getting past my tummy is hard to do)
    looking in mirrors (hardly ever ever do that)
    sleeping on my back (ouch)
    passing up chocolate (who does that)
    keeping my toes warm in the winter (socks and shoes always....have wondered if I could wear slippers to bed)
    not brush my teeth as soon as I wake (I know why would I not do that? LOL Been using Crest Whitestrips and they say do them before brushing teeth)

  5. You must be my long lost twin brother - I can't do any of that either.

    I solved the wrapping problem - I use gift bags!!! And you can save them and reuse them every year!!

  6. I know what you mean about #5, man. Fuckin' a right.

  7. I have found that I'm much better at wrapping presents if I've been drinking. It's kind of like bowling in that way. The more I drink, the better I am at it.

  8. I guess I'll find out if I can paint in a straight line when I do my living room this week...

    I hate reality TV. I can't stand drama and arguing, and all those people looking for bad attention. Ugh!

  9. I don't think I heard you swear even once when I met you, dammit! I feel kinda cheated now.


  10. so you are a perfect wrapper