Ever wonder what happens at Hallmark when their writers are having a bad day?

-
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.


-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.


####################################################

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.


********************************************************************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky , and West Virginia )


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.


//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.


=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?



%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.


))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

Comments

  1. diane10:17 AM

    Hahaha at the Uncle Dad one!
    They're all funny.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown10:29 AM

    I can see the ex-writers explain why they no longer work there.."Yeaaaaaaaaaah I got fired from Hallmark. I was a writer and always forgot to take my Paxil.. they didn't like my writing"

    These are great! Uncle Dad is my fav too

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jeanne Estridge11:24 AM

    I saw an actual card at a shop once that had a beautiful picture of a cowboy on a horse, silhouetted against a cloudless blue sky with mountains in the background.

    On the inside it said, "Screw you and the horse you rode in on."

    So good news -- there's a market for your work!

    ReplyDelete
  4. lynette3554:31 PM

    lol life like sayings guess you know we all have those days

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mnmom5:11 PM

    I think they've got a goldmine there!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Politics of Love Chick1:30 PM

    Now I know there must be a Hallmark Hell. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cora8:22 PM

    HAHAHAHA!! Those remind me of the cards Gwen mailed out a few months back. Brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Whiskeymarie9:19 AM

    I would totally send these cards to people. Honesty really is the best policy, don't you think?

    ReplyDelete
  9. LegalMist11:34 AM

    I think there may be a market for these, truly!!

    ReplyDelete

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