Sep 13, 2009

Ever wonder what happens at Hallmark when their writers are having a bad day?

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

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Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'

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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.


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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?


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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.


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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.


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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.


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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.


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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in
Tennessee, Kentucky , and West Virginia )


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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!


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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.


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We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?


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I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.


=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?



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Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.


))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

9 comments:

  1. Hahaha at the Uncle Dad one!
    They're all funny.

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  2. I can see the ex-writers explain why they no longer work there.."Yeaaaaaaaaaah I got fired from Hallmark. I was a writer and always forgot to take my Paxil.. they didn't like my writing"

    These are great! Uncle Dad is my fav too

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  3. I saw an actual card at a shop once that had a beautiful picture of a cowboy on a horse, silhouetted against a cloudless blue sky with mountains in the background.

    On the inside it said, "Screw you and the horse you rode in on."

    So good news -- there's a market for your work!

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  4. lol life like sayings guess you know we all have those days

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  5. I think they've got a goldmine there!

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  6. Now I know there must be a Hallmark Hell. LOL

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  7. HAHAHAHA!! Those remind me of the cards Gwen mailed out a few months back. Brilliant!

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  8. I would totally send these cards to people. Honesty really is the best policy, don't you think?

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  9. I think there may be a market for these, truly!!

    ReplyDelete