Jul 30, 2010

Well Hi There Curly!

I probably should have posted this over at Fire That Agency under "Wonderful Ads", but I wanted to share it with you all here.

Jul 28, 2010

Bat Tat Tuesday: OK, ok, so I'm late...

Boy this week has been a bit of a train wreck! Lots of things going on that are demanding my attention, like life and this silly "work" thing that people keep expecting me to do. You think they would have caught on by now that I model my life after Wally from Dilbert.

So lets see what the cat drug in through the swingy door thing that leads to the soft, visceral underbelly of the Internet, shall we?

yep. Don't want non of that fancy reedin shit around here in America!!

Unless you die is some creepy loser fashion like self auto-erotic asphyxiation or something...

Move over Longfellow, there is a new poet in town.

This gets my vote for the new creepiest tat I have posted in awhile. Just because of it's position and how damn lifelike it is!

Look at this, a special guest tat from Scope! He thought enough of this little series to snap a photo on his honeymoon! What a trooper...
Scope said, "Cora and I saw this (guy?) at Coit Tower in San Fran on a Tuesday."

Honestly, I am leaning a bit toward women, but I can't tell. What I can tell is that those are some seriously ugly tats!

Yep, I agree, the game of Life sucks. But I draw the line at advertising that fact on my chest.

What can a person say when it is just this horrific? Worst bet ever lost? Who knows...

Jul 25, 2010

Come ride with me!

Saturday the temperature cooled down and made it a great day to get the bike out. I decided to take a ride along the Big Dry Creek trail, which goes from Standley lake towards the east until it ends at I-25. It is a nice long ride, mostly concrete but still some gravel. Since I have my new phone which takes considerably better pictures than my last piece of junk, I thought I would play tour guide.

Here we are starting at the lake, lots of people out water skiing and fishing that you don't see here.

We head east going downhill to start. I decide to go down first because the wind is coming from the east in my face. I figure that when I turn around I will have a tailwind even though I am coming back uphill.

Next up we come to the Westminster rec Center. This is the place that remodeled their water area that I wrote about awhile ago. It is very nice.

The Colorado Rapids soccer team used to practice here, but now they have their own facility. The pavilion area always has groups there that have rented it for events, and kids are always fishing for some type of bottom crawling fish in that pond.

If you go across the creek on this bridge, you get to a memorial that was built here a few years ago honoring all of the armed services. They did a great job on it.

On the west side of the park there are 4 baseball fields that are much nicer than anything I ever played on growing up. We had gravel fields, I guess because they were more easy to keep up with a 3 month growing season in the mountains!

Turning back east we start riding through the area of the trail that alternates between concrete and gravel. The gravel section is still good, but you have to be careful on the corners.

We get to see what types of wildlife will try and kill us along the way!

Next along the trail we go by Front Range Community College.

They have some program there with a little interpretive trail that describes the area past, present and future.

I have to call bullshit on their version of the future though, because come on - not a single monkey with a jetpack or a walking dolphin shooting lasers out it's eyes! What the hell do they teach these kids now days?

The scenery takes a nose dive quickly from here as we go through the more unkempt or industrial area of the hood.

The trail crosses a couple of sections of private property that allowed people to bike through their pristine real estate so long as you don't dismount and go visit their storm water retention area...

Bonus! As we travel farther downstream we get to go by the newly built waste treatment facility! This is a huge improvement for the citizens of Westminster because while the new one still smells like poop, the old one smelled of poop, sweaty man balls, broken dreams and despair.

So we got that going for us...

All along the trail you get to see natures little subway builders, the Prairie Dog.

These little creature build a complex series of tunnels anywhere. I mean anywhere! They come up through hard gravel, along concrete walls, nothing deters them.

So about here we arrive at I-25 and turn around to work our way back towards home. Remember my great plan about having the wind at my back for the ride home? Well, wind is a fickle bitch and she pulled a 180 on me. So it's uphill into the wind for me!

After we go past the Westminster Rec center, I decided to veer off the trail and go over to the Westminster Promenade area. The Promenade has an ice arena that my old company, Sun Micro used to sponsor. But Sun fell on hard times and dropped the sponsorship.

The area is full of shops and theaters, and is pretty nice.

After we leave the Promenade we travel under the Denver/Boulder turnpike and through the Walnut Creek shopping area. The reason I wanted to show you this isn't for the shopping, but for the great statues they have there. They have some wonderful carved granite pieces:

But the best piece is this large Elk display that is all metal:

The last thing I wanted to show you along our ride is Sensory Park. This was built behind the North Children's hospital rehab center and is a playground that is totally wheelchair assessable!

Thanks for riding along!

Jul 24, 2010

I Don't Write 'Em, I Just Pass 'Em Along!

From my buddy jack that I work out with at the gym, well done Jack!

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him:

"I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."

"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

Jul 22, 2010

Friday Madness

Thank goodness the end of the week is here!

First up, I have a Skyler update:

Skyler had another blood test yesterday and the levels came way down into the normal range, down a lot from last week's blood test.

Dr. Chang met with the radiologist today and confirmed that the spots they see on the PET Scan are typical for his fusion.

Even Dr. Chang was pretty worried that Skyler had an infection and is just as relieved as we are that he does not need surgery.

Removing the hardware is only an option if there is an infection. The spinal fusion grows around the hardware, making the removal a very difficult surgery.

They think he may have had a cold, or even a pulled muscle that was showing up in the blood work.

So from here, it is muscle relaxers, massage if he will tolerate it, and wait and watch. Thanks for everyones well wishes!

Next up, life report:

We were moved from salaried employees to hourly employees, taking effect in a couple of weeks. They say this stems from a law suit in California, but a lot of us have "Spidey Senses" tingling over this one. Our bonus structure was cut pretty much in half, because of all the OT we will supposedly get now that we are hourly employees. However, lots of the managers are saying that we shouldn't need to work OT if we are scheduling our time correctly.

The only thing they haven't said so far is "Work smarter, not harder..."

Now for the madness, things that make you scratch your head and mumble what the fuck...?

Scope and Cora's wedding looked nice and all, but they needed a theme like "Me and you and an Emu too".

Awesome date #1, outdoorsy and a ton of fun!

Not feeling it with the first guy? Here is awesome date #2. Breathe in the awesome ladies...

June Cleaver never had a flame thrower! I bet this lady has rodent problems she is taking care of like Steam Me Up Kid!

Save a life down at the shelter has it's dark side...

Can somebody please explain this?

Hey BeckEye, you can steal this for your next Firecrotch award!

Bubba always scored on the hot chicks when he offered camel rides with a little squeezebox!

This is the end result of too much fapping guys, be warned!

Finally, what may just be the best personnel ad ever placed.

Jul 20, 2010

Bad Tat Tuesday; Close your eyes and hang on!

Lots and lots of truly bad artwork, as well as bad ideas this week.

As always, proceed with caution, keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times, your milage may vary, void where prohibited...

I really don't know, I've blown it up and I just don't have a clue what this fuzzy thing is!

When it rains, it pours! I wonder if they are getting any royalties from the Morton Salt Company?

Truth in advertising?

Oh that's really nice. Is this a grade school project?

Make daddies little girl proud.

There just isn't enough drugs or alcohol in the world to make this seem like a good idea.

See boss, it's kind of like word play... Get it? What? Clean out my desk?

Stay classy idiot boy.

It really doesn't get much more awesome than Taz riding a unicorn!

Can I just mention that those are pretty gnarly toes also?

As the back boobies grow, the tat morphs into something even more sinister!

'nuff said.

Patriots fan?

Nice homemade job there bucko.

Another classy contender.

So full of angst, and no art skills...

Normally I am a huge fan of bacon, just not a fan of huge bacon.

On the front of the knee? You would have to wear long pants the rest of your days.

Best art work in this series, just a whole lotta WTF...

Does anybody have a clue? Anybody?