Jul 7, 2009

Things that make your butt pucker

Tuesday is usually my bad tat series day. But today is far more special, because today is the day that you, my dear readers, get to squirm in your seats.

This is far worse than some poorly drawn tattoos, oh yes indeed. This is even worse than Dustin Hoffman getting some free dental work in Marathon Man. "Is it safe?" Oh hell no!

In today's episode of this string of horrors known as a weblog, we bring you a series of photos with captions explaining them. Because if I told you they were all surgical instruments, you would laugh and say, "No really, what the fuck are those?"

These are all indeed surgical instruments from the past, please put down any drinks, buckle up for safety, and keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times...

Haven't had enough yet? Well then to help put you over the top, here is a National Geographic video on a tribe showing boys and their passage into manhood...

Twenty times wearing a pair of gloves each laced with hundreds of live bullet ants, stingers pointing inward, for ten minutes at each go. At first it seems like a horrible practice almost on the level of honor killings, but the boys themselves really seem to have a positive outlook on it.


  1. Devices from the PAST?

    You make it sound like they're all obscure or something - heck, half of those tools I've used on myself in the last 24 hours!

  2. Whoa - That's some very Cronenburg stuff there. I just had a Dead Ringers flashback!

  3. ::blink, blink::

    I think I'd just rather have the hemmeroids, thankee, Sai...

  4. Thanks. You just made me feel a lot better about my heat rash.

  5. Amputation knife, arrow remover, fake leech??!! And forget about the cervical dilator!! Jeeze.

  6. oh my.

    that was worse than bugs in the ears. I think.

  7. Yikes! I've seen at least three of those in horror films and undoubtedly some of these implements came before ether. Good gravy, I'll bet they all originated with either The Inquisition or DeSade.

  8. Could be worse. Could be a condum instead of a glove.

  9. They all look like Klingon weapons.

  10. Anonymous2:35 PM

    They're all oddly beautiful, but holy cow!

  11. *Runs away screaming*

    *...then slowly inches back, to watch the video*

    *gouges eyes out*

  12. No, but really, what the fuck are those????

  13. Ugh.

    These are awesome and cringe-inducing at the same time. I'll have the image of the "skull saw" with me for days...

  14. That mouth gag's a bit tame.

    Can't beat a snooker ball to stop 'em screaming.

    So I've heard.

  15. As someone with 21 operations under her belt, this makes me SOOO glad that I live in the 21st Century!

  16. I don't know...I've been to several Adult Novelty shops and those look, oddly, familiar...
    Not sayin' it doesn't make me cringe, or anything...not sayin' that at all, lol.


  17. I applaud you, sir, for posting material that bothered me. I mean, really bothered me.

  18. I find it mildly disturbing that I recognized three or four of these, although I can't recall where I've seen them from.

    Probably had them in my doctor's bag from my early days of practice, I guess.

    That reminds me, I need to find my circumcision knife and grind the rust off, as I have to fill in for the local mohel for a few days while he is on vacation in the Keys. I hope they don't mind if I use beer at the Brit milah instead of wine. After all, who wants to start their eigth day in this world with grape juice when you can have PBR?

    This is a great feature! Will there be more Butt Pucker to follow?


  19. I seriously wanted to hurl reading some of these captions. My lord!

  20. *curling in a ball on the floor*

    I can't do it, Sky Dad. I only read half of them and I can't do anymore.


    I don't wanna know what the rest of those evil Frankensteiny creations were used for. No.

    No, no, no.


    *sobbing like a wimp*

  21. I only got through about half, too!

    I think I nearly passed out at the Cervical Dilator.

  22. Why the FRACK I decided to read THIS post before going to sleep is beyond me... obviously, I need a diagnosis... and institutionalization.