Sep 30, 2008

Fans on the Field 10K Race

Sunday the 28th we ran in one of our favorite races, the Fans on the Field. Last year we did the 5K, and this year we signed up for the 10K because we wanted to go into all 3 venues. The race is called Fans on the Field because you get to run through the places where the professional teams play here in the Denver area.

The 5K goes through Pepsi center where the Nuggets and Avalanche play, and through the new Mile High stadium. The 10K goes further towards lower downtown and through Coors Field where the Rockies play. It is a well supported race, in it's 3rd year and already has about 7000 runners! It is for a great cause, the National Sports Center for the Disabled (NSCD) where Skyler goes to ski in a sit-ski.

Skyler is getting tough to run with! He outgrew the big, modified jogging stroller we had for him, so we push him in his wheelchair. Between him and the chair, it's about 170 pounds or so. You feel every stinking little hill, let me tell you...

We carried along our video camera, and took a bit of really shaky video. Sorry about the quality, it's hard to run and shoot at the same time!

The first place is Coors Field:




Next up, you go through the Pepsi Center. Skyler wanted to stop and chat with the cheerleaders, but I said we have to keep our pace up...




The race finishes up by going through Investco Field at Mile High, which is the new Mile High stadium. There is a camera set up at the end and you get to see yourself up on the Jumbotron. But we had too much shaking (ahem Mom!) so we didn't get that shot.

Sep 29, 2008

The Other Side of Paul Newman

Everyone else out here has done a much better job of talking about Paul Newman, his great career, and his passing. But I wanted to make you all aware of what he did for kids all during his life, and what a difference he made. He didn't just lend his name to a cause, he was there. Enjoy this great article by Dahlia Lithwick:


Posted Saturday, Sept. 27, 2008, at 10:20 AM ET


The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp opened in Connecticut in 1988 to provide a summer camping experience---fishing, tie-dye, ghost stories, s'mores---for seriously ill children. By 1989, when I started working there as a counselor, virtually everyone on staff would tell some version of the same story: Paul Newman, who had founded the camp when it became clear his little salad-dressing lark was accidentally going to earn him millions, stops by for one of his not-infrequent visits. He plops down at a table in the dining hall next to some kid with leukemia, or HIV, or sickle cell anemia, and starts to eat lunch. One version of the story has the kid look from the picture of Newman on the Newman's Own lemonade carton to Newman himself, then back to the carton and back to Newman again before asking, "Are you lost?" Another version: The kid looks steadily at him and demands, "Are you really Paul Human?"
Newman loved those stories. He loved to talk about the little kids who had no clue who he was, this friendly old guy who kept showing up at camp to take them fishing. While their counselors stammered, star-struck, the campers indulged Newman the way they'd have indulged a particularly friendly hospital blood technician. It took me years to understand why Newman loved being at the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. It was for precisely the same reason these kids did. When the campers showed up, they became regular kids, despite the catheters and wheelchairs and prosthetic legs. And when Newman showed up, he was a regular guy with blue eyes, despite the Oscar and the racecars and the burgeoning marinara empire. The most striking thing about Paul Newman was that a man who could have blasted through his life demanding "Have you any idea who I am?" invariably wanted to hang out with folks---often little ones---who neither knew nor cared.
For his part, Newman put it all down to luck. In his 1992 introduction to our book about the camp
http://www.amazon.com/I-Will-Sing-Life-Voices/dp/0316092738/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1218736605&sr=8-5
he tried to explain what impelled him to create the Hole in the Wall: "I wanted, I think, to acknowledge Luck: the chance of it, the benevolence of it in my life, and the brutality of it in the lives of others; made especially savage for children because they may not be allowed the good fortune of a lifetime to correct it." Married to Joanne Woodward, his second wife, for 50 years this winter, Newman always looked at her like something he'd pulled out of a Christmas stocking. He looked at his daughters that way, too. It was like, all these years later, he couldn't quite believe he got to keep them.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Of course, it wasn't all luck. He lost his son, Scott, to a drug overdose in 1978, so in 1980, he founded the Scott Newman Center , which works to prevent substance abuse. When he first began to donate 100 percent of the proceeds from his food company, Newman's Own , to charity, critics accused him of grandiosity. Grandiose? Tell that to the recipients of the quarter-billion dollars he's given away since the company's creation in 1982. First Paul Newman made fresh, healthy food cool, then he and his daughter Nell made organic food cool . Then he went and made corporate giving cool by establishing the Committee Encouraging Corporate Philanthropy. And all this was back in the '90s, before Lance Armstrong bracelets and organic juice boxes.
But Newman never stopped believing he was a regular guy who'd simply been blessed, and well beyond what was fair. So he just kept on paying it forward. He appreciated great ideas for doing good in the world---he collected them the way other people collect their own press clippings---and he didn't care where they came from. Whether you were a college kid, a pediatric oncologist, or a Hollywood tycoon, if you had a nutty plan to make life better for someone, he'd write the check himself or hook you up with somebody who would.
Today there are 11 camps modeled on the Hole in the Wall all around the world , and seven more in the works, including a camp in Hungary and one opening next year in the Middle East. Each summer of the four I spent at Newman's flagship Connecticut camp was a living lesson in how one man can change everything. Terrified parents would deliver their wan, weary kid at the start of the session with warnings and cautions and lists of things not to be attempted. They'd return 10 days later to find the same kid, tanned and bruisey, halfway up a tree or canon-balling into the deep end of the pool. Their wigs or prosthetic arms---props of years spent trying to fit in---were forgotten in the duffel under the bed. Shame, stigma, fear, worry, all vaporized by a few days of being ordinary. In an era in which nearly everyone feels entitled to celebrity and fortune, Newman was always suspicious of both. He used his fame to give away his fortune, and he did that from some unspoken Zen-like conviction that neither had ever really belonged to him in the first place.
Hollywood legend holds that Paul Newman is and will always be larger-than-life, and it's true. Nominated for 10 Oscars, he won one. He was Fast Eddie, Cool Hand Luke, Butch Cassidy. And then there were Those Eyes. But anyone who ever met Paul Newman will probably tell you that he was, in life, a pretty regular-sized guy: A guy with five beautiful daughters and a wonder of a wife, and a rambling country house in Connecticut where he screened movies out in the barn. He was a guy who went out of his way to ensure that everyone else---the thousands of campers, counselors, and volunteers at his camps, the friends he involved in his charities, and the millions of Americans who bought his popcorn---could feel like they were the real star.

And they say she isn't qualified

Town Meeting, Wasilla, Alaska
A dramatic reading of a 1996 Wasilla, Alaska, town meeting, performed by the actor Chris Schneider. A tour de force by Chris, well done sir...


See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Sep 27, 2008

Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor lady. I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila

---------------------------------------------------

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps,

Walter

Sep 26, 2008

Clutter, and the nickle tour!

I was just reading over at Bubs place about clutter, refrigerator items, and general family stuff. I thought I would invite you all over to our place.

First comes the item everyone is talking about, the refrigerator. At least I think there is a refrigerator under all those magnets and pictures...



One item of note, we are proud owners of the original set of Starbucks magnets where you can pull them all apart and spell out cute little phrases. Remember these?



At the front of the house is our "living room" where we don't really live. It is consumed by a computer center that has Skyler's iMac on the left with a larger external monitor so he can see better, and the family computer in the center. On the right is a flatbed scanner that I will gladly scan in my ass for a nominal fee...



Moving to the left is a couch and bookcase, mostly with junk. Couches are always covered because of 4-legged family members. The picture on the wall is the 20th Anniversary Boulder Bolder 10K race commemorative print!



As if on command, Yordi shows up to take his on patrol, attack dog position on the couch where he can observe all possible threats...




Swing farther around the front of the house, and you find more clutter. The latest addition since we had Skyler's surgery is a lift and a cot where we change him. Yes, I know it's in the living room, but it's the only place large enough to swing everything around and into place.

You make a lot of accommodations with a special needs kid!



Lets all walk down the hall into Sky-Dad command central. Come on, walk now, lets go... Put down globe, you can find out where Iraq is later...



When I started working from home, I took over the spare bedroom we had and moved in. Again, lot's of crap! This is how we tend to live, everything is clean, but stacked up and cluttered.

Linksys wireless router, switch, voice over IP console, voice mail storage system, and phone are all part of the gig! I write about most of these products, including a whole lot more.



As a matter of fact, this entire post has been brought to you by a mind-numbing conference call!

Sep 25, 2008

Ambiguously Gay Duo

Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell, the voices of Ace and Gary do a running commentary on their characters from the SNL cartoon skit Ambiguously Gay Duo.

This is just laugh out loud funny people, check it out!

Sep 24, 2008

The Summer-Long Project

Back at the end of April I started on a project for my wife to tear out a bunch of old bushes that were dieing in front of our house, and replace them with a planting area she could put flowers and whatever in.

The project started off wonderfully, when I found that the bushes were in such bad shape that the root systems were dead, and I could tear them out pretty easy.

I had all of the bushes torn out, and the rock that they grew out of all shoveled and raked out of the way, and then in an unrelated event, I tore the rotator cuff in my left shoulder.

This left my project unfinished, and in just about the worst possible place for it to be, with all the rock piled up and no way for me to start laying in blocks to build up the area. But Kathy was pretty understanding about the whole thing, and as the summer moved on with no flowers, I finally had rehabbed enough to finish things up.

I moved in a whole bunch of decorative blocks, found a place that had some fill dirt to build up the level, and then put in a bunch of planting soil. Over the last couple of weeks Kathy has run around shopping for some of the more hardy types of flowers, Mums and the like, to get her flower fix. Just in time for our weather to start to change to cold nights with Fall creeping in.

So next year it will look nice, but for now it is a bit sparse. here are a couple of pictures...

Sep 22, 2008

This is Your Nation on White Privilege

My old work-mate and friend Dan, from up in Minn. sent this to me last night. It is quite an article, and I found myself being a little put off by some of the overtones. But there are a lot of great points in here and I wanted to share it with you in it's entirety.

Where do you all weigh in?


This is Your Nation on White Privilege
By Tim Wise

9/13/08

Tim Wise is among the most prominent anti-racist writers and activists in the U.S. , and has been called, "One of the most brilliant, articulate and courageous critics of white privilege in the nation" by best-selling author and professor Michael Eric Dyson, of Georgetown University

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because 'every family has challenges', even as black and Latino families with similar 'challenges' are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

White privilege is when you can call yourself a 'fuckin' redneck,' like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll 'kick their fuckin' ass,' and talk about how you like to 'shoot shit' for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're 'untested.'

White privilege is being able to say that you support the words 'under God' in the pledge of allegiance because 'if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me,' and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the 'under God' part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you.

White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was ' Alaska first,' and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you're somehow being mean, or even sexist.

White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a 'second look.'

White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W. Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S. foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America .

White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a 'trick question,' while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a 'light' burden.

And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole 'change' thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

White privilege is, in short, the problem.

Caitlin O'Grady
Department of Materials Science and Engineering
University of Arizona
1235 East James E. Rogers Way
Tucson, AZ 85721

Sep 20, 2008

Skyler the Senior


Just got the senior photo back for Skyler and had to share. Cause, I'm like way proud and all that...

You can really see the difference in his neck now that his back has been straightened, because he always used to have to hold his head up sideways, the muscles had to compensate to hold his head level. Now, the spine goes straight up and down, and the muscles need to relearn how to hold his head level in the other direction.

Sep 19, 2008

Since I Missed Quick Joke Friday

While in my funk I had no sense of humor. Many of you will say I still don't have one, read on!

A young soldier was learning to parachute. He was given the following instructions: Jump when you are told; count to ten and pull the rip cord. In the event that it doesn't open, pull the second chute open. When you get down, a truck will take you back to the base.

When the plane had reached the proper altitude, the men started jumping out. The soldier jumped when told. He counted to ten and pulled the cord, but the chute failed to open. He proceeded to the backup plan, pulling the cord of the second chute. It, too, failed to open. "This is just great," he complained. "And I bet the truck won't be there either."

Sep 18, 2008

Dog Escape Artist

You have got to check out this pooch breaking out of a kennel. He is like a little 4 legged Harry Houdini!


Amazing Dog Escapes from Kennel - Watch more free videos

Fun with Politics

Catching up with lots of stuff I have found and that my friends have sent me.

Enjoy!!!

























Sep 16, 2008

Le MisBarack

Because I love Le Miserables, here is just a little bit of wonderful...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Sep 15, 2008

Thanks a lot Everyone!

I made a short thank you video, which sucks, but wanted to say it to you all instead of just writing the words. There is so much support out there and I think you are all just wonderful!

video

Sep 12, 2008

Colorado Relay

Kathy left this morning at 3:30 to be in Georgetown to start the Colorado Relay. What is the Colorado Relay? Well, it is relay teams of 10 competing against each other over 174 miles of running. Kathy's team is a "masters team" (read old) and they ran the Wild West Relay last year from Fort Collins to Steamboat Springs and got hooked on it.



Running as a team sport? What's the deal with that?! The relay differs from other races because there is a huge team dynamic at play. Everyone must work together and support each other the whole time, not to mention share mobile living space for 24-plus hours!



As the first of their team took off this morning, the rain was coming down heavy and steady. Snow is down to 9000 foot level for the first 24 hour period of the race, so everyone has to be prepared for inclimate running weather.



Part of the run is on bike trails, part is on high mountain passes with dirt road, and some of it is even single track!



It's all for a good cause also, Outward Bound and Judi's House are fine charities. So send out some good vibes for everyone to make it through in good shape and safe.

Sep 7, 2008

The Wall


In the running world, the wall is a term used to describe a barrier that you come up against where you find yourself without anymore energy, the legs suddenly turn to mush, the wind isn't there, and things just start to seem like they are all falling apart at the same time. Generally, the wall is at mile 20 of a marathon. I have hit it sooner, sometimes not hitting it all all when running. It depends on what race I was doing, and how hard I was pushing myself.

For me, the wall I have just hit hasn't been running, it is Senior year for Skyler.

For quite a long time now there hasn't been a whole lot that has been going right. There are a lot of little things that contribute to the overall collapse. I left my old company of Sun Micro because of the constant fear of layoffs, now it has found me at my new place. We just let go a bunch of writers to send their jobs overseas.

I have been fighting back pain for years, the result of an old injury and the constant pounding of running. That has recently become worse, combined with a shoulder surgery that seems to be taking forever to heal.

Then there is my marriage, which often can't really be described as a marriage so much as roommates both living together trying to raise a child. I think both of us have kind of given up.

I tell you all this not to ask for pity, because I have it a whole lot better than most. But it is all the stuff that sits below the surface and accumulates, waiting for the proverbial straw that breaks the camels back.

For all of Skyler's life, we have constantly been advocating for a better life for him, more inclusion in day to day activities, to be with his typical peers in school, and for whatever respect we could try and find for him. We have battled with a school system that is one of the worse in our area, if not the country, and not asked for anything that would have cost them a dime. All equipment, communications device, laptop, whatever else we thought would improve his chances at success we have foot the bill. All that they have provided was his aide to get him around and assist him in his day to day needs.

It has always been a fight - for everything. But we do it because it's what all parents do, they want the best for their kid. And now we finally have one thing set up that we have been trying for years to get, a video class that would be of interest to Skyler because that is his one true love.

Sounds great, right? Right up to the point where Skyler decides that he doesn't want to do it. No explanation from him. He is just being a little shit, only wants to have his own time at home and doesn't want to work at school. So now, the school gets to point and say, "See, we told you he couldn't do it."

That was it, the straw on the camel, or the wall on the run.

I have given up, if he wants to sit around with us the rest of his life playing on the computer, watching his DVDs, then fuck it all, let him.

These last years of high school have sucked, and he has become a real pain, a whiner, and even when people have reached out to him (like Ravens kids), he just doesn't care. I know he is a teen, with all that comes with adolescence, but he has to try a bit.

And so I post stupid videos, jokes, and crap to try and find humor in my life when I want to just run away.

So to return to the running metaphor, I hit the wall, now what? I am going sit sit on the curb awhile and cry. Cry about what has been and what may have been.

Then try and get up and walk. Bear with me for awhile if you don't mind, I will pop in here and there, but right now, I am sitting on the curb.

Sep 5, 2008

Would Jon Stewart please run for something so I can vote for him?

I'll take potpourri for 500 Alex

Quick joke Friday is here, and I blew past Bad Tat Tuesday, and there are so many more things to laugh at that it all has to roll into one today. So sit back in the car, keep your hands and feet inside at all times, and hang on.

Quick Joke:

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'
The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'

Bad Tat:



"Why can't everyone just leave Britney alone!"

And speaking of Brit-brit (that's why the call me the king of segues...)

From the wonderful folks over at Betty Bowers, check this great shit out!



Sep 4, 2008

If I may get serious a moment...

Almost a year ago I saw a trailor for a movie that I really hoped was going to be brilliant. I posted about it here. It was in theaters in a very limited release, and then went to DVD without much publicity, which is really a shame. The movie is called Music Within. This is a synopsis of the film:

Richard Pimentel (Ron Livingston) begins his life as a fighter, and his life's work becomes a process of fighting for the rights of others. Rising up from a childhood in a dysfunctional family, armed with a talent for public speaking and a winning personality, the young man makes his way to a Northwestern college, confident that he will ace his try-out for his idol Dr. Ben Padrow (Hector Elizondo), the coach of the winningest team in the history of the College Bowl. But Dr. Padrow shatters his dream when he rejects him. Richard's immediate reaction is to enlist in the army for a tour of duty in Vietnam. During combat, the young recruit loses his hearing to a bomb blast, and has to deal with this newfound disability on his return to civilian life in Oregon. Richard discovers that his disability and the struggle to transcend it is a defining moment in his fight for what he believes in. When he tries to help his friends, vets like himself and others with disabilities, to get work in an environment that treats them with pity at best and disdain as a matter of course, he realizes that he can make a difference. The friends who make up his close-knit clique are: Art Honneyman (Michael Sheen), a student wheel chair user with cerebral palsy who uses his rapier wit to deflect the prejudice that greets his disturbing appearance; Mike Stoltz (Yul Vázquez), a fellow veteran with a lot of rage and nowhere to put it; and then there is Christine (Melissa George), the passionate libertine who strokes Richard's ego and initiates him into the world of free love. Together, the friends experience the currents of those turbulent times, and the wild, joyful energy of winning through confrontation and humor. Without his hearing Richard is all the more prepared to listen to the message deep within himself, and to carry that message to the thousands of people whose lives are improved by the movement he helps to organize.

I finally found it and watched it the other night. It is a movie that deserves better than what it got, which was largely ignored. Besides the incredible performances, it is important to see where we were as a society just a few years ago to where we are now. All of us that have children with any kind of special needs owe a huge debt to Richard Pimentel for shepherding the Americans With Disabilities Act through from conception to law.

Here are a couple of samples, sorry there is some repeated material in here. I searched through a lot of stuff for the more important video clips and interviews.





video

Trip to Wal-Mart

This is just wonderful, enjoy!

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says,'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog shit off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her
grandfather.

In your 80's: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

Sep 3, 2008

Guiness!!

Not only my favorite beer, but some of my favorite commercials!

video




Make sure nobody is looking over your shoulder when checking this one out!

Sep 2, 2008

It's a different kind of quiz



This was interesting. When you click on the link, a series of about 15 pictures will come up. Click on a photo in that category that appeals to you.

At the end it will give you a profile of yourself.

It's called a visual DNA. Your choices dictate your profile.

Click here for quiz

I tag nobody, but expect you all to do it. Are you listening?

Do it!!!

Sep 1, 2008

"The Maverick and the MILF"

From Bill Maher, it just doesn't get any better than this...