Nov 30, 2008

Tagged, and in a nick of time!

Cause I got nothing but more stupid videos in the queue, and I am sure you are all sick to death of those!

Johnny Yen tagged me with the "Meaningless Meme."

1. Five names you go by:

a. Chris
b. Dad
c. J.C. (Navy buddies shortened J. Christopher to JC)
d. Snowman (My old Navy call sign)
e. Sky-Dad (around these parts...)

2. Three things you are wearing right now:

a. Sweats
b. Thick socks, because it is cold here today
c. A stupid grin


3. Two things you want very badly at the moment:

a. Money to pay off bills
b. Time to myself


4. Three people who will probably fill this out:

That is just wide open, anybody up for it?

5. Two things you did last night:

a. Caught up on some old TiVo stuff, Terminator, Sarah Conner.
b. Personnel hygiene for Skyler, we won't get into it unless you want to know about life with a kid with CP...

I may just start up the life with Skyler series, who knows?

6. Two things you ate today:

a. Eggs and toast
b. Coffee

7. Two people you last talked to on the phone:

a. my sister
b. my friend Pam I work out with


8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:

a. Hopefully, start painting the bathroom
b. Work

9. Two longest car rides:

a. Denver to Seattle, 2 12 hour days
b. Idaho Springs to San Jose, just out of the Navy and 3 of us drove out to see our 4th buddy.

10. Two of your favorite beverages:

a. Water out of a mountain stream
b. Dark beer

Nov 27, 2008

Alice's Restaurant

It's not Thanksgiving until you have heard the song!

In case you haven't heard it on the radio today, a nice collage of live performance and clips from the movie.

But mostly, just to get the fat chick off of the top of my blog!

Nov 26, 2008

ObligatoryThanksgiving Post

Things you can only say around the family on Thanksgiving:

1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It's Cool Whip time!

4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?


And don't forget to occasionally push away from the table...


Eating The Thanksgiving Turkey - Watch more free videos

Supernatural

Does anybody out here watch Supernatural? It's on UPN, and I love it.

From IMDB:

After the mysterious disappearance of their father, two brothers seek out and combat paranormal and supernatural events to figure the meaning linking their mother's death whom was killed years earlier by a mysterious demon.

I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but it really is good. The guys that play the two brothers, Dean and Sam, are excellent, and one recent episode deals with a ghost that attaches itself to Dean. The premise is that the ghost eventually causes the host to die from fright, and the host becomes more and more scared of everything. Dean winds up sleeping in his car, because he is afraid of heights and the hotel room they are in is on the 4th floor. Sam finds him laying in the seat of the car air drumming to music.

Turns out at the end of the show, they put in an outtake of Jensen Ackles getting a little carried away during filming.

Nov 25, 2008

When the parody is better than the original

Vikki at Bells On had this great post about Beyonce and her new music video:

Bells On: Nacho Marriage

I had to show you the parody on SNL if you missed it. Justin Timberlake should just stick to doing SNL gigs... You have to be a bit patient for this video to show up, it is a download from a slow site.

Nov 24, 2008

Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal

Dave Barry is so damn good it shouldn't be legal! My buddy Russ forwarded this to me...

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter

plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this is, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

What? Another video from Sky-Dad?

I just re-discovered this after going through some crap on an old computer in the basement. Long story short, I was trying to find an old printed electronic receipt out of thousands of files... Yeah, my life is that exciting!

Anywho, this link was sitting around collecting dust and it directed me elsewhere and I finally found the video on the youtubes.

It might be the silliest thing ever produced, or it might be brilliant, I'll let you decide. But I guarantee, the tune will be stuck in your head until you purge it with some old Aerosmith or Deep Purple.

I give you, Cows With Guns:


Nov 23, 2008

Dads Night

Johnny Yen has tagged me with a new meme-- the "Dad's Night" tag. The premise is that the wife is out that night and it's just you and the kids hanging out. What movies would you watch with them?

This is tough for me to do because Skyler really doesn't like movies. Movies, as well as most TV shows, tend to be too dynamic for his sensory system to handle. That is why he likes watching the news, Jeopardy, and things that are more constant. Even though the shows and the news are different each night, the studio set and what happens re the same. It gives him continuity and he doesn't get scared by something, thus bringing on a seizure.

So I would spend the night watching some DVDs or old tapes of some of his favorite news people, or maybe some home movie type of videos when he was a young dude.

Thanks for the tag JY, and I tag the two gentlemen who take care of my beer reviews and general hilarity, Doc and Ergo over at Social Zymurgy: The culture of beer.

Nov 22, 2008

Always check your kids homework

The assignment was to draw a picture of what mommy does for work...



Mommy actually works at Home Depot, she was selling a shovel.

Nov 21, 2008

Your Friday Funny

Cup of Tea




One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she
watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)

'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?

Nov 20, 2008

There is no pleasing some women!

Back me up here guys, you try and try but it never is enough, right?

video

Nov 17, 2008

Lunch with Kristi and 'Lil Obama


I had a nice lunch with GKL today, and she got to meet 'Lil Obama in person. He had been bugging me non-stop to set up a date with her, so I finally said yes just to get him off my back!

But seriously, the guy was a tad out of control at the prospect of meeting her (who can blame him?) but on the ride up I had to put him in his place...
video

Well dang it, the video cut off before you got to see me slap him off the dashboard...

Nov 16, 2008

Prepare to be bored!!

Last weekend was the trip my Navy buddy Russ and I took to Nellis Air Force Base in Nevada to take in the final air show of the season. It is called Aviation Nation and is huge, the second largest in the US behind the Oshkosh fly-in. This one is heavy on military hardware with tons of static displays on top of some top notch performances of military aircraft.

We had a great time, driving out to Las Vegas from Denver and getting caught up during the 12 hour trip. It's funny how much we have in common. We came from completely different backgrounds, but both wound up working at the same company in Boulder many years ago and have both been in high tech since. Russ brought along a bunch of comedy CD's, and it was a fun way to pass the time while driving. My new favorite is Brian Reegan, check him out if you haven't already.

So on to the show... Nellis is the home of the Air Force Thunderbirds. they were the headliners of the show, as they usually are. This year the team had their first female pilot flying lead solo in the #5 aircraft, which is quite a big deal. She is a really tiny person, probably no more than 5' 2" or so. When the pilots were all lined up together, she was a good head below all of the guys, but she is awesome!

Russ is a very good photographer, and bought a new lens just for the show. He took a lot of pictures (about 2000) and put some of the best on-line here.

Since he is so good, I decided to just take video. Unfortunately, my video camera is not up to air show performances, with the auto focus constantly moving in and out trying to keep up with the action. But I have put up some video of a few of the better demonstrations.

Here is the F-22 Raptor:


This is the newest fighter out there, with vectored thrust and the ability to "supercruise" which is flying faster than sound without afterburners on. It can fly straight up, throttle back and sit still in the air on its thrust.

Here is the C-17. Lots of fighters, and exhibits there, but there is something special about seeing a 75,000 pound aircraft go through it's maneuvers, land inside 500 feet, then back up!


One of the highlights was the Heritage flight, a P-51 flying in formation with an F-15 and F-22. Very moving considering there was a member of the Tuskegee Airmen sitting next to us who was in tears.


OK, enough geekyness, here is a short video of Russ and I stopping in Utah on the way home at the San Rafael swell. This is a huge geological feature where a massive piece of earth just shot up in the middle of nowhere. As it fell in on itself, it left a number of steep canyons that go nowhere. Lots of hikers have gone in and never been found. It is very impressive, and my video doesn't do the colors justice.

But stick around until the end to see two middle age men making complete fools of themselves!


Nov 13, 2008

New Windows!!

I have been reading blogs about all these fancy remodeling project that everyone is doing, and since I want to sit at the lunch table with all the cool kids, here are some pictures of the new windows we had put in. Notice the use of the phrase "had put in". If I have learned nothing else about myself, it is that projects that require more than my rudimentary concrete and framing skills are best left to those who understand that if something doesn't quite fit right, all you need to do is apply more force...

So here is a shot of our bathroom, with the curtains removed and ready for the pro's from Dover to come and take out the old windows and put in the new.



Understand now, this is a scene that we never saw, because we like to bath and shower without the rest of the neighbors who are 10 feet away watching. It's not that I am against nudity, I just hated all the pointing and laughing... So the curtains were permanently drawn.

Here is the new scene.



And here is a closeup of the great pattern in the frosted glass.



Pretty shweeeeet, huh? Now the bathroom is all lit up and we really don't need the lights on during the day.

We also had two front living room windows replaced, but the old looks just like the new.



The old windows all around are pure crap, and the new are triple thick with a layer of heat reducing material in them. Should be warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer.

Nov 11, 2008

Hug a Veteran

Before I forget, I wanted to wish my brethren a Happy Veterans Day, and ask all to send out prayers/good vibes for those in harms way on this day.

Nov 7, 2008

Catch you all on the flip side

I am out of town until Monday evening, taking in a way cool air show at Nellis Air Force base in Nevada. Tons of military hardware out here with great demonstrations, it starts tomorrow morning. My old Navy bud Russ and I drove out today. I will post pictures to bore you all out of your wits later!

Nov 4, 2008

From The New Yorker

A little history lesson about how tough it used to be to vote. Makes me feel like I don't deserve the privilage.

Read the entire column here.

Rock, Paper, Scissors
How we used to vote.
On the morning of November 2, 1859—Election Day—George Kyle, a merchant with the Baltimore firm of Dinsmore & Kyle, left his house with a bundle of ballots tucked under his arm. Kyle was a Democrat. As he neared the polls in the city’s Fifteenth Ward, which was heavily dominated by the American Party, a ruffian tried to snatch his ballots. Kyle dodged and wheeled, and heard a cry: his brother, just behind him, had been struck. Next, someone clobbered Kyle, who drew a knife, but didn’t have a chance to use it. “I felt a pistol put to my head,” he said. Grazed by a bullet, he fell. When he rose, he drew his own pistol, hidden in his pocket. He spied his brother lying in the street. Someone else fired a shot, hitting Kyle in the arm. A man carrying a musket rushed at him. Another threw a brick, knocking him off his feet. George Kyle picked himself up and ran. He never did cast his vote. Nor did his brother, who died of his wounds. The Democratic candidate for Congress, William Harrison, lost to the American Party’s Henry Winter Davis. Three months later, when the House of Representatives convened hearings into the election, whose result Harrison contested, Davis’s victory was upheld on the ground that any “man of ordinary courage” could have made his way to the polls.

Voting in America, it’s fair to say, used to be different. “Are you not a man in the full vigor of manhood and strength?” a member of the House Committee on Elections asked another Harrison supporter who, like Kyle, went to the polls but turned back without voting (and who happened to stand six feet and weigh more than two hundred pounds). The hearings established a precedent. “To vacate an election,” an election-law textbook subsequently advised, “it must clearly appear that there was such a display of force as ought to have intimidated men of ordinary firmness.”

Hope

From Ad Critic magazine:

The "Wassup" campaign and the Bush administration were unleashed on the American public roughly eight years ago. The former resulted in the sale of a lot of Budweiser, a fistful of ad awards and a cultural phenomenon. The latter, well, its effects are addressed in the newly launched Wassup08, a sequel from Charles Stone III produced through Believe Media.

Stone, of course created the original short film about five friends and their catchy greeting. It was picked up by DDB Chicago in 2000 and was reinterpreted many times in an ongoing series of Bud spots directed by and starring Stone.

Wassup08 reunites the original cast of characters to whom the intervening eight years have not been kind—instead of "watching the game, having a Bud," they are variously serving in Iraq, scanning the job listings and struggling with prescription drug costs. The "wasssuups" are still there but subdued or, in some cases, twisted into screams of horror at plunging stock portfolios or hurricane winds


Nov 3, 2008

A quiet day on the tubes

Chris over at Some Guys Blog mentioned that it is quiet out today. I agree, but my boss sent out a picture of her daughter dressed up as Sarah Palin that I think you all will agree she did a great job on.

Nov 2, 2008

Real Americans from Real America for McCain

The last guy is just classic! Funny or Die has become a favorite site for me!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die