Mar 17, 2009

I got nothin for St Paddy's but a quick joke

Mick met Paddy in the street and said, 'Paddy, why don't you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in future?'

'Bejaysus Why?' Paddy asked.

'Because,' said Mick, 'the whole street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.'

Paddy said, 'Stupid bastards, the laugh's on them ... I wasn't home yesterday.'


  1. Nice, I always get the best jokes over here...

    Happy St. Paddy's

  2. A man walks into a pub with an ostrich and a pussy cat. He goes up the bar and says: "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whisky for the cat."

    The unlikely trio find a table, sit down and drink their drinks. Next, it's the ostrich's round. He walks up to the bar and says: "Beer for me, beer for the man, whisky for the cat." The ostrich takes the drinks back to the table and they drink them.

    When it comes to the cat's turn to buy a round, he simply tells his pals to "Sod off!" So the man goes back to the bar and asks for another two beers and a whisky.

    Impressed at his generosity, the barman says: "I notice that you and the ostrich have both bought a round but the cat hasn't. Why do you hang out with him?"

    The man replies: "I once helped a little old lady across the road, and she turned out to be my Fairy Godmother. She granted me one wish, which landed me with the cat and the ostrich forever."

    "What did you wish for?" enquires the barman.

    "A long-legged bird with a tight pussy…"

    Happy St. Pat's!

  3. Ha ha ha! You always have the best jokes, Sky Dad! Happy St Patrick's Day!

    Now, about that tongue you mentioned....

  4. I've never heard that one.. sounds like something I would say.. I wonder which guy has a tattoo?

    Gwen.. THAT is also a good one I've never heard.

  5. Ha...that was funny. Oops, almost fell off my bar stool. Happy St. Paddy's Day!

  6. An Irishman ran breathless into his local pub and exclaimed, "There's a new pub down the street. For half a quid, they get you drunk then take you in the back and get you laid."

    His friend said, "You don't mean it, Padraig, Have ya been there yourself then?"

    Paddy replied, "Nae, nae but me sister has."

  7. I'll be honest, I'm cutting and pasteing these jokes just as fast as my fingers will fly!

    And yes, you will ALWAYS find the best jokes here. Because of Skyler's Dad, the whole company that I work for thinks I'm a real joke-telling cut up and I'm just retelling the gems that I find here. It works out great for both of us. I get a gag writer and he just keeps adding up how many beers I owe him for each installment. The great part of this arrangement is that I only have to pay him when he shows up in person, but if I tell you later that Christmas is canceled for my little girls you'll know he managed to swing by to collect.

    Happy St. Pat's!

    Having a cold one in your honor,

  8. lol i love that one one! you DO always have the best jokes...

    happy st. paddy's.