Oct 31, 2009

Just in time for Halloween Night!

The Cut Slide Movie Montage! Gratuitous movie violence at its most awesome best, if by most awesome best you mean people getting cut in half.

Cut Slide Movie Montage - Watch more Funny Videos

What's really scary?

What is more scary than Paranormal Activity for Halloween? One couples terrifying look at the lack of their Sexual Activity.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Sexual Activity Trailer - Watch more Funny Videos

Oct 29, 2009

Skyler Update

I have been struggling with something decent to blog about, and didn't want to fall back on another silly video. Then I thought about an email conversation I had with Red, who is the significant other of the Evil Genius. She was asking about Skyler and what are we doing since he graduated from High School. So I thought that maybe others might be interested in the dudes adventures, so update ho!

Skylers summer was all fun all the time for him. He was very happy to be out of school and spent the days making his home DVDs, playing games on his computer, and generally bothering mom and dad just like a teen is supposed to be doing. He thought he was finished with school, but little did he know that a plot was being hatched for him in the fall.

When you are on an IEP (Individual Education Plan) you generally don't really graduate when you end your senior year. You are eligible for some more transition services until you turn 21. So for Skyler, this means that there were some programs to investigate that would help him with his transition into adulthood. What this usually means for kids with special needs, is a place to go hang out and learn life skills. How to budget, plan meals, cook, some simple things. Most services are geared for kids that have a developmental delay, not a physical one like Skyler. It is just the way it works out.

After graduation, we were approached by the school (this is very important, they came to us!) about including Skyler in a program called JTS for Jeffco Transition Service where they take some kids who show the apptitude and put them into a college setting. This would be at Red Rocks Community College, and he would go there, hang with other kids, take a class, and generally get to be part of a college atmosphere in a shortened day.

This sounded very good to us, but we are skeptical of the school system because our hitory has been one of us bending over the table asking for at least some lube. Sorry, that sounded a tad harsh, I meant to say we have not always been pleased with their choices.

So we asked before school was out for the summer to meet and discuss Skyler's needs. No problem they said, we have it all worked out. Generally we don't take kids with Skyler's physical needs, but we made an exception for him. (Spidey senses tingling here)...

So midway through the summer and then just before the new program starts, we reach out to them again, asking if they would like to meet to go over Skyler's needs. He uses a Dynavox, he needs medication, there are seizure precaution, and there is diaper changing. No problem, we are ready!

Then the program starts. It is Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, 8 to 1:30. Tuesday and Thursday he has a class, Wednesday is a day off to go out into the community. First thing we hear is that they can't give him his medication and supplemental feeding through the G-Tube. The nurse hasn't cleared them on that. Can the give it to him orally? Sure, he can take the nasty tasting seizure meds by mouth if needed, but what part of supplemental feeding do you not understand? His gets fed through a G-Tube because he can't get enough calories by mouth!

So, we agree to have him get his meds by mouth, not do the extra feeding and we pick him up earlier so he doesn't go hungry. The extra feeding is taken off of his IEP/medical plan the very next day. Why is that important? Read on...

The next issue is that they don't have a good changing area for him because they don't feel comfortable with getting him out of his chair and lying him down. The two attendants both have back and wrist issues (what the fuck?) so can he stand and get changed? If he could stand, wouldn't life be just grand? That would mean he has control over his body, ergo no more CP!

So he doesn't get changed unless he goes to a different facility that has kids with greater needs than what they can provide. We say, OK, will he go to his class? Well, no, but the good news is that it's not too late to drop the course! That is their answer, drop the course and go someplace else because it is easier for them.

I could go on and on, but long story short (oops too late or that) is that we hire an advocate for our meetings, go see a lawyer who now gets copied on all letters to the school and now they are making a half-assed attempt at getting Skyler taken care of. Not enough to make me happy, and I want to find a different program for him to attend. But my wife wants to fight this out.

I have always been of the opinion that you can't litigate people into accepting and believing in your child, but we still can't let them get away with treating Skyler this way.

The reason I said that it was important that it took them under 24 hours to get things off of his IEP/medical plan? Well, we spent 3 weeks getting a couple of people able to give him a G-Tube feeding, and now they say that they feel more comfortable doing it, but it isn't on his medical plan! We are 4 weeks into trying to get that reinstated. Funny how long it takes to get something back in writing...

So that's the bad, next update I will talk about the good stuff - Skyler's job!!

Oct 28, 2009

It's Snowtime!

Lot's of snow dumping on us today and tomorrow, the forecast calls for 6-10 inches here in the metro area and 1-2 feet in the mountains. My sister still lives up in Idaho Springs and they are getting killed!

Just got back in from shoveling and walking the dogs:

Oct 27, 2009

Cårven Der Pümpkîn

With Halloween rapidly approaching, I figured that all of you could use some carving tips. Muppets style!

Oct 26, 2009

The Procedure

I have had this sitting around for a while now, and always get a kick out of watching it.

Some big names are working with Funny or Die these days.

Oct 24, 2009

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

Complete with patriotic background music, you have to watch this before every time you go once more into the breech!

Oct 23, 2009

Sky Dad's Dating Service

(singing to myself)
Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match.
Find me a find,
Catch me a catch,

hmmmm hmmm..

Oh hi there, you caught me in mid song, sorry, I was distracted while typing.

Since it's Friday already, and I know some of you are looking for that weekend rendezvous with that someone special, I have decided to provide some much needed assistance in your search for somebody special. I know, there is no end to my giving, it's like I am a Ghandi with a beard and more flatulence, not that I know his level of flatulence, but I think it's a pretty safe bet.

So when you are planning that special evening and trying to come up with who to share it with, consider these possible candidates. No need to thank me, I am just a natural born matchmaker.

Comfortable with technology, and knows what he wants in a relationship.

Rugged mountain man type, and he has his own bear!

Snappy dresser, knows that stripes are slimming. Just doesn't know which way the stripes should go...

Has the type of job where his upper torso is always outside.

Loves to dance! Never needs music because it always is playing in her head.

Smoker, but is trying to quit.

Possible a little high maintainence, but is willing to share wardrobe.

Pet lover who like long walks in the woods collecting things.

Cat lover who has all of the downstairs of his mothers place.

Still knows the childlike wonder of playing in puddles!

Another cat lover! The ladies love him.

Loves to dance. Follically challenged.

Likes a women who enjoys shootin.

Part time Google Earth worker looking for a night out where she doesn't have to walk up and down streets.

Fierce dresser who knows what she wants out of life.

Party animal type who knows a lot of bar tricks.

Style conscious blackjack dealer.

OK, he was just left over from Bat Tat Tuesday, I didn't know what the hell to do with him...

Lonely soul waiting for her ship to come in.

Let's just move along now, shall we?

Outdoors enthusiast looking for tentmate.

Music lover who also likes travel.

Professional dancer who may or may not be compensating.

Oct 22, 2009

Job Opening In Alaska

Position available as a survey tech on the north slope. Requirements include:
  • A minimum of 5 years working in the surveying field
  • Professional certification is a must
  • Ability to work in demanding conditions
While not mandatory, it is a good idea to be fit and agile...

Oct 21, 2009

Great fake commercial

Andy Richter is having a little trouble keeping up with the Jones, so he takes things into his own hands.

Oct 20, 2009

Support Animal Rescue

One of my co-workers posted this on Facebook. I just don't understand how people can do this to animals who place their trust in us unconditionally.

Don't buy from pet stores while shelter dogs die.

Animals in shelters:
A: Get adopted
B: Get put to sleep
C: There is no C.

Bad Tat Tuesday!!!

Welcome back troopers, and thanks for visiting Bad Tat Tuesday once again. You are all proving that it takes a lot more than crap ink to give you the willys!

I only have a few to share this week, could it be that we are running out of bad art on bodies? I think not, I just have been collecting some that are all going into the Not Safe For Work bin.

Stay tuned troopers.

This can go with the 5 dudes wearing the exact same howling wolves T-Shirts.

What on Earth? Is this a type of cartoon character?

So when we are towards the empty side we are at war? Is that it? If it is going to be permanent, let's make it a bit more clear, shall we?

He he he, I kind of like this one actually. But I sure as hell wouldn't wear it!

Did he think he would get endorsement money?

So large. So much going on here. So wrong...

This is what everyone was drinking when they got these!

Oct 18, 2009

Oldy-time advertisements

I always like these old time ads for products that were complete crap, or they were so damn insensitive they were a joke. I recently came across a collection that I wanted to share with all of you.

First up is our good friend Lysol, that we all clean our KITCHEN COUNTER's with!! In what bizarro world did we used to think this was a great idea to spray up the old cooter?

I don't know what bothers me more, the happy lard eating family, or the fact that there used to actually be a "Lard Information Council".

That's that bitch I used to date! I recognize those stocking lines anywhere...

As someone who writes technical documentation, I appreciate the use of the labels in the photos to help me figure out old hard way from new Schlitz way. Now if only they could have done something about the skunk taste of their beer.

I think it was Nicolaus Copernicus that first postulated the hard work versus cute look theory. And Kelloggs was just pushing Meth a long time before it became fashionable.

You could always tell a true animal lover that would allow his dog to have a hole for it's head - while riding in a sack outside the damn car...

Oh holy hell! Did people really do this? Don't worry about these tape worms honey, their sanitized! And when I read "easy to swallow", I threw up in my mouth just a bit.

Tune in again the next couple of days when I spring forward into the 60's with more great ads!

Oct 15, 2009

Aha Mr. Bond!

Funny Friday video for you all, Alan Partridge reenacts the opening sequence to his favorite James Bond Film 'The Spy Who Loved me'.

What was that? A bit of nipple?

Things I Want Thursday

The delightful Sass has been running a Thursday special for awhile now, and I have decided to join in. Partly because I have no ideas of my own, but mostly because I get to use the new button Scope designed for her!!

It's a wonderful button, isn't it? I said isn't it!? Yeah, you over there! Pay attention!

I swear, some kids...

And I really need to get out more.

Which brings me to the things I want:

  1. As I said above, I want to get out more. We went to a movie last Saturday, that was the first time in a theater in months.
  2. I want to stop slowly gaining weight. I have always been slim, and now that my metabolism has finally slowed down, I don't like it one damn bit!
  3. I want the transition services people, who ASKED for Skyler to be in their program, to stop putting roadblocks in his way.
  4. I want the price of my cup of Starbucks to go back down, I feel like my patronage is being used against me.
  5. Last but not least, I want you to check your mailbox soon Sass, because I mailed you a present!