Oct 21, 2010

A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

Attention K-Mart Shoppers.  We have a little lost boy in Hardware that answers to Sky-Dad, and he seems to have wet himself.

What the hell has happened to me lately (or not so lately if you have known me for awhile)?  I used to kind of have my shit together, fairly intelligent guy who knew a little about a lot of things and a lot about a few things.  But now?  You be the judge...

I had to take my car in for service to get the fan in the heater fixed.  It was making this loud screeching sound for the past, oh, lets just say couple of years.  My appointment was for today, but it didn't work out dropping the car off this morning with everything going on.  So, I took it over to the mechanic last night and dropped it off.  Yeah me for being so on top of it and working around the busy morning issue.

I had planned on going to the gym and working out early at 0-dark thirty this morning, so last night Kathy told me that I should back the van out of the garage for the morning.

Why, I ask?

She looks at me like I am an idiot, and tells me "You don't want to wake up Skyler in the morning".  I responded much our dogs do to me when I am discussing good behavior with them, and cocked my head to the side.  Kathy continues, "You won't have your car tomorrow, remember"?

Ah yes, of course I remember!  I just dropped it off there at the mechanics an hour and a half ago, and this great looking women picked me up to give me a ride home! (see what I did right there, throwing in a compliment to throw her off her game).

Completely taken by my compliment she shakes her head and mumbles something about idiot under her breath, at least I think she mumbled, my hearing is going the way of my short-term memory...

This morning after returning from the gym, and helping get Skyler all ready for heading out to Red Rocks, I finish loading him in the van and the dogs are doing their normal jumping around-oh boy, oh boy, it's walkies time thing.  I tell them calm down, we will go to the dog park in a minute.  Kathy informs me, "No, you will have to walk them in the field at the end of the street".

Cue my cocked head appearance...

She then reminds me, "Remember?  You don't have your car"?

Oh sure I do, no worries, we like the field down the street, don't we guys?  Yes and we are so cute, yes we are and we have fun don't we? (pets dogs and rubs bellies)

Kathy pulls out and leaves after further questioning of my sanity, and I grab my jacket and the leashes and we head out the door.  The dogs bolt down the driveway and head right to the curb where the car is usually parked (thanks pooches).  Then Yordi the Newfy mix runs back up the driveway and attempts to tell me the car has been stolen.  Montana the Chocolate Lab is sitting at the curb right where the back door of the car is, I guess waiting for me to let her into the invisible car.

So there you have it gentle readers.  Sky-Dad's brain power has been reduced to a level that is someplace between and old Chocolate Lab, and a young Newfy mix!

Should I go and gt fitted for Depends now, or just wait for my first accident in the grocery store as I am lost wandering around looking for the milk?


  1. Well...if we go by the Newfy Chocolate Lab metaphor, we should just wait for you to mess yourself, and then have Kathy rub your nose in it and smack you with a rolled up newspaper.

  2. Take a chance and go without the Depends. It'll make life interesting.

    I think we all (as we get older) do stupid things. I was looking for my sunglasses one time and asked mom if she'd seen them. She looked at me and patiently said, "They're on your head."

    Sure enough!

  3. I feel your pain. During the whole wedding/moving process I could hardly remember my own name nor string a simple sentence together.

    As for Montana sitting there waiting to be let into the invisible car, ha ha ha ha, that's priceless!!

  4. I see no problem with any of that.

    Last week I was driving my husband's car which has a broken driver's side window. Broken as in it won't roll up or down and is attractively duct taped in place.

    My daughter texted me to ask if I could stop at Taco Bell for her, knowing that I usually don't mind grabbing food after work as long as I don't have to get out of my car.

    I texted her back basically saying, DUH, have you forgotten that I'm in Daddy's car and the window won't roll down so drive thrus of any kind are out of the question. I swear that girl can be such a bubble head.

    Then I looked up and realized that we were having this texting conversation while I was waiting in line at the bank...at the drive thru window.

  5. Thanks all, and welcome to new reader Shannon. Thanks for dropping by!

  6. feelng kinda beautiful right now huh?
    actually i love that you throw in those compliments to wifey-poo
    we hear them...we love them...but we know what page in the lil book of oh shits they come out of too...but keep it up.
    you get doggie points

  7. LOL, get the Depends now before you go in for a hearing aid...that way you won't hear the crinkle crinkle as you walk.

  8. Oh dear. I've had a day or five like that recently. I couldn't tell you why though, I've forgotten already... - G

  9. hence me not having a car since i would have no idea where i parked it.

    when the dogs are smarter than the owner.....


    pretty soon you will be sitting around talking about ailments

  10. Chris, that is your name right?, (just kidding)
    It's fine. All of it. We all have mini-spasms once in a while, it doesn't mean anything. You'll be King of the Hill again before you know it.

  11. I feel ya. I forget shit all the time, especially words. Not good for a writer.

    But maybe it's just intermittent stupidity, because I had episodes when I was younger. Like, in my teens when I was living at home and had to use my dad's car, sometimes I would be out and as I was coming home and getting ready to pull into the driveway and, upon seeing an empty driveway, I'd think, "Hmm, I guess dad went out." And then it would dawn on me..."Oh...duh...I'm IN his car."

  12. Life is like a river... sometimes the flow is smooth and predictable, sometimes it is rough and hazardous. You're just going through a swirly bit... hold on to your raft and enjoy the ride ;)

  13. I think our brains are just full. Just plain full. Remember I posted how I searched the parking lot at work for my van only to remember it's in the shop????

  14. I feel your pain. The first few days of our recent trip I felt completely out of it, and utterly unable to focus or understand even the simplest of questions. I basically went up to the rental counter and just opened up my wallet. A bajillion dollars AND my first born? What ever dude, sounds good, just gimme the keys.

  15. I'd tell you that you are in desperate need of a vacation and to get away, but you don't have a car, remember?

  16. This all sounds completely normal to me. Of course, I've been spacey my whole life.