Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps

I was inspired by Dick's picture today...

Presenting the Official Seal Generator. Yes, that's right. If you are not born into wealth and high status like I am, you can create the illusion of having such. Simply visit Official Seal Generator and use your imagination! Be sure to share your Official Seal on you blog, everybody wants to see what a mucky-muck you are!

I would have liked to see a few of these...

Don't you feel like smackin em every now and then?

I watched a special on the local NBC affiliate last night that had an interview with Jim Sheeler and Katherine Cathey. Jim is the Pulitzer Prize winning writer of the story Final Salute . Katherine is the wife of a Marine second Lt. who learns her husband has been killed in Iraq. The story is amazing, and as the prelude states: They are the troops that nobody wants to see, carrying a message that no military family ever wants to hear. It begins with a knock at the door. For the past year, the Rocky Mountain News has followed Maj. Steve Beck as he takes on the most difficult duty of his career: casualty notification. As Beck and his comrades at Buckley Air Force Base keep constant watch over the caskets of the men they never knew, the Marines also comfort the families of the fallen, and choke back tears of their own. It's all part of a tradition that started in 1775: Never leave a Marine behind. After the knock on the door, the story has only begun. Check it out, if only for the ph...

See Kieth's Special Comment about the Democrats' deal with President Bush to continue financing this unspeakable war in Iraq -- and to do so on the Presidents' terms.

I am pretty sure that this is one of the signs of the Apocalypse, isn't it?

Slow-Mo Water Ballon Not Breaking - Watch more free videos

Here Comes Johnny Yen Again...: Follow the Grey-Brick Road... Reminded me I had this stashed away. The very last of Gary Larsons fine series, The Far Side.

I lost this web site and just found it again while cleaning up things. It is a wonderful parody of the Department of Homeland Security warnings on www.ready.gov. My favorite is " If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell." What's yours?

New commercial from ADT , check it out.

Stealing this from Vikki who stole from McSweeney , and I am stealing from SNL... Categories in which I'm pretty sure I could best all-time Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings: 1) Things your mother said in bed last night. 2) Ethnic slurs. 3) Things that make you go "ouch". 4) Your ass or a hole in the ground. 5) Name that disease. 6) Audio Daily Doubles of animal farting sounds. 7) Words that rhyme with cat. 8) Plays by Shakespeare about Venice Merchants. 9) Sexual Aids. 10) And finally, Anti-Submarine Warfare strategies against Soviet Alpha class subs.

See if you can spot the key factors in this little tale: From AP via Comcast news... HUNTINGTON, W.Va. - Michael Lusher apparently is a sound sleeper. A small-caliber bullet struck the 37-year-old Altizer man in the head as he slept Sunday morning, but he didn't realize it until he awoke nearly four hours later and noticed blood coming from his head, said Cpl. R.H. McQuaid of the Cabell County Sheriff's Department. The bullet that struck him was one of five that someone sprayed across his mobile home and truck at about 4:20 a.m. Sunday, McQuaid said. The one the struck Lusher apparently lost velocity as it traveled through two walls. "We're just glad he didn't suffer any life-threatening injuries with a head wound," he said. Lusher came home from a night on the town about an hour before he was shot while lying in bed, McQuaid said. He remained hospitalized at St. Mary's Medical Center on Monday. His condition was not immediately available.

Busch Gardens Europe Gives A Sneak Peek Of Griffon To News Media - Click here for more free videos

I picked this up through Good Morning Silicon Valley. It called Running the Numbers, a collection of images showing how much we consume of different items. Startling, really... Check it out here .

You really need to go to: http://voco.uk.com and check out this clock. Click on the Downloads tab and have yourself a good time! My favorite is "Come come sir. Let us not be defeated. Let seize the day and take it roughly from behind. As the Colonel used to say in his unfortunate manner" I must have one of these clocks!

Hmmm, not sure what to make of this, since that is one of the few drugs I never tried... Your Personality Is Like Acid A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell! What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

The Adventures of Non-Credible Guy:

My sister called last night to remind me that it has been 10 years since our dad passed away today. She knows me and knows that I do not remember dates worth a damn, but I do remember all of the circumstances around it. My mom had been in poor health for quite awhile, and we had always expected to someday get a call from our dad to tell us that mom passed away. But it turns out that dad's heart ran out of ticks. He was complaining to mom about having an upset stomach, and asked her if they had any antacid or something. Turns out that was the last thing he ever said, he had a massive heart attack and went fast. I suppose we should all be so lucky. We had really great parents growing up, that always supported us in everything we did, and gave us everything we needed when we didn't have a lot of money for extras. You always hear horror stories of bad parents, or even parents who just didn't give a damn. Not us, we had it good. I loved my mom a lot also but dad was speci...

Run everyone!!!

Dove adds a bit of a twist to the typical beauty commercial . I thought this was pretty cool!

Got this from my sister, Happy Mothers Day all. So, we had this great 10-year-old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat. The kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on a rug in our bathroom. Well, we have three kids which, at the time of this story, were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves Chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my Chapstick but he’d always lose it. So finally one day I showed him where I keep my Chapstick, and how he could use it whenever he wanted to, but he needed to put it back in the drawer when he was done. Last year on Mother’s Day, we were in the midst of our typical rushing around and trying to get ready for church. Everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mes...

I don't know about all of iYou, but I am getting a bit iSick of iApple putting "i" in front of every iFucking iThing!

Johnny Yen posted a ghost story yesterday that brought back this memory for me. This happened about 20 years ago, when my wife and I were living in our first house. I was home alone with our 2 dogs, Rambo and Aspen. We had a small place that had a stairway that the base was right by the front door. Here is a picture that shows me, the dogs, and you can see the stairs in the background. I was watching TV, the dogs were hanging out on the floor beside me, and their was a knock at the door. I opened it and nobody was there, and thought maybe I had just heard things. But the dogs were all fuzzed up and growling, so they knew that something was there. So, I close the door thinking it was kids or something, and went back to the couch to sit down. The dogs continue to growl and are worked up, and then there is another knock. Now the dogs are barking, and pretty agitated, and I go throw open the door hoping to catch the kids. No kids, nothing there. So I turn around and come back insid...

Gentle Readers, Several situations have come up recently where I believe that reader safety has been compromised at the expense of cheap humor. As a result of this practice, I felt obligated to pass along a rather simple quiz to all of you that should only take a few moments of your time. Please review the following pictures and share with all of us any potential safety issues that you may see.

I keep on getting well wishes from all over the place. Thank you all very much, I have good taste when it comes to friends!

50 isn't old... for a tree! Today's my birthday and it was a fun weekend full of celebration! First, on Friday some of my old Sun Micro friends treated me to lunch at Red Robin. Guinness was consumed, laughs were had, and it was a lot of fun. Then on Sunday afternoon my wife and sister organized a party for me, inviting a lot of friends I grew up with and my workout gang. Many more Guinness consumed as well as Buffalo burgers! Yuuummmm. My sister, being the devious one of the family, put together a poster of some old pictures she has been collecting from our family home. She said she could have really gone for embarassing, including the picture of me pooping into a pot on the kitchen floor. Thanks for not going that far Sandi! Here are some pictures of the poster:

That is just too good!

Johnny Yen has tagged me with the top 5 favorite places to eat meme. You must really be bored Johnny if you think my dining habits will be of any interest! The rules: 1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country you’re in. Nicole (Sydney, Australia) velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy) Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia) Olivia (London, England) ML (Utah, USA) Lotus (Toronto, Canada) tanabata (Saitama, Japan) Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States) Lulu (Chicago, Illinois, United States) Chris (Boyne City, Michigan, United States) AB (Cave Creek, Arizona, United States) Johnny Yen (Chicago, Illinois, USA) Skylers dad Westminster, Colorado 2. List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location. 3. Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged. Aaaand, there off! 1. Red Robin Yep, it's a chain and all, but it serves kick-ass Cho...

Skyler is one of the managers for the Pomona High School swim teams, girls and boys. The coach has been really great about getting him included in team activities and lot's of the kids are really nice to him. It has been a good experience for him, and we have had fun. Skyler takes video and pictures of the team, and writes articles for a local newspaper to tell how the team is doing. Skyler has some pre-programmed buttons on his communications device that we can type in questions, and then Skyler interviews someone while we jot down the answers. We recently interviewed one of the team members that is an exchange student from Palestine, the Gaza Strip, Tamer. I wanted to share some Tamer's interview with you all: Tamer spends his summers swimming in the sea in his country. Swimming in a pool has been a new experience for him, but he likes it. Tamer said, "I love swimming freestyle and backstroke. But my favorite event is the Relay and their starts, because they show ev...

From AP, via Comcast news... LIMA, Peru - Carmen Gonzalez plucks one of the 50 frogs from the aquarium at her bus stop restaurant, bangs it against tiles to kill it and then makes two incisions along its belly and peels off the skin as if husking corn. She's preparing frog juice, a beverage revered by some Andean cultures for having the power to cure asthma, bronchitis, sluggishness and a low sex drive. A drink of so-called "Peruvian Viagra" sells for about 90 cents. Gonzalez adds three ladles of hot, white bean broth, two generous spoonfuls of honey, raw aloe vera plant and several tablespoons of maca _ an Andean root also believed to boost stamina and sex drive _ into a household blender. Then she drops the frog in. Once strained, the result is a starchy, milkshake-like liquid that stings the throat. At least 50 customers a day ask for steaming beer mugs of frog juice at Gonzalez's countertop-only restaurant in eastern Lima, and many treat the concoction as their mo...

Yesterday was Special Olympics day and Skyler competed in a wheelchair race, and had a lot of fun seeing some of his friends, both from his school and from other schools in the area. My wife was looking around at websites about Special Olympics, and stumbled across this speech. This is incredibly powerful coming from a young boy. Enjoy, Skylers Dad "I want to tell you a quick story before I start. I was walking through hallways, not minding my own business, listening to the conversations around me. As I passed the front door on my way to my English classroom, I heard the dialog between two friends nearby. For reasons of privacy, I would rather not give away their race or gender. So the one girl leans to the other, pointing to the back of a young man washing the glass panes of the front door, and says, "Oh my gawd! I think it is so cute that our school brings in the black kids from around the district to wash our windows!" The other girl looked up, widened her slanted A...

Never leave home without one, you never know when you need a quick sin removal.

Check this out: A great scene where President Bartlet goes toe to toe with fundamentalist talk show host Dr. Jenna Jacobs.

Got these last night from an old friend I used to work at the phone company with. Enjoy... ouch!