Mar 25, 2007

This is why it's called "The shit has hit the fan"

Cheer's update on the poop cleanup was a great story, so I thought I would share my big cleanup tale from a couple of weeks ago...

After we had weeks and weeks of snow on the ground, I was faced with a backyard full of poop from my two dogs.

It was everywhere, and I dreaded the thought of venturing out with shovel in hand. Then an idea hit!

I'm a high tech guy, I need a high tech solution, right?

Why not use machinery? I have a mower that I need to break out and get ready for spring anyway.

After my first couple of passes it becomes apparent that the suction capability of my mower isn't working well enough. My enlarged Star Trek like brain complete with throbbing veins kicks in again.

I'll attach my thatching blade with the springs that dig down and pull out the dead grass! That will kick it up into the basket! Alright, we're cooking with gas now.

Well, the morale of the story is that shit doesn't just get picked up off of a lawn and thrown into the bag like dead grass.

Dead grass is light, shit has weight.

Dead grass gets sucked up into he bag, shit get flung in every conceivable direction from under the mower.

I had to undress in the garage and throw everything I was wearing away.


  1. This sounds like something I would try.

  2. Yes, it does.... KIDDING!!! TOtally kidding, Chris!

  3. And when it's all chopped up and everywhere, the chances of it being rolled in and brought into the living room are EXCELLENT. "Don't we spell great?" "Aren't we special" Thanks DAD

  4. Do you think when the transporter becomes reality, that we'll use it to beam dog poop from our yards out into space?

  5. Ha! The best post I've read today. By the way, what kind of soap works best on the stench of dogshit and embarassment?

  6. This is funnier then anon's blog about the horse poop. This story gave me the second best laugh today, anon's story gave me the first. Thanks

  7. Anonymous7:29 PM


    This is an exhibition, not a competition. No wagering, please.

  8. Chris: Great minds think alike.
    Dick: No you're not!
    Sandi: You know my dogs well.
    GKL: I will use it to beam the poop into the yard of my crummy neighbor down the street.
    Kirby: Only time works, you can only scrub so much.
    Cheer and Anon: Tune in next week when all the poop story tellers discuss their most embarrassing dog sniffing story!

  9. Hm. Why do I have the feeling that when you die, the manner will be a source of interest to the Darwin Awards?