May 26, 2008

Quick joke Monday

Since I missed last Friday for a quick joke, here is one to get you through your week:

Hypnotist at the Senior Center

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center . Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude drew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations" He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"SHIT!" said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Center ...


  1. Anonymous4:06 PM

    hahahahahahaha! You're hysterical!

  2. hardy, har, har. you tried, really you did! :)

  3. ::snort:: That was so bad it was actually funny. :)

    Hey, did you run the Bolder Boulder? Or are you still on the mend with your broken wing?

  4. You folks are all way too easily amused! That's why I like you all!

    Mom: No, I didn't run the Bolder Boulder this year. I haven't run it for awhile now, they wouldn't let me take Skyler in his big jogging stroller, so I said to heck with them and I stick to the smaller runs now. Can you believe it was 55,000 people this year?

  5. Har har.

    The hypnotist's name should've been Claude Balls. That's for a completely different joke, but it's still funny.

  6. Ewwwwwwwwww....
    They won't let you take Skyler on the run? That sounds like discrimination to me!
    I know...choose your battles...but that pisses me off.

  7. I shouldn't admit this but it took me a count of about 5 before I got this. It's the voices I tell you, they're taking over, and they're shitting in my brain!

  8. All's well that ends in poo.

  9. thank yew, thank yew. He'll be here all week, folks!!

  10. My stepdaughter is fascinated with hypnotism, and today at the library were looking for books on the subject. It was one of the great regrets of my life that, because she's only 11, I couldn't tell her this joke.

  11. Thanks for the poop joke.

  12. Poop always flies around here!