Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps

The pastor asked if any one in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced. She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim. And the wife continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctor's say, with time, his s...

Casual Slack invited me to participate in the Crazy 8's meme, let's all see if that was a mistake! The thing about me is that there really aren't all that many things that inspire true passion in me, so let's call this things I am passionate about, or at least interested... 8 Things I’m Passionate About : - My son Skyler - Adopting animals instead of breeding - Inclusion - Good writing - Most Sports - Space program - Discovery and History channel programs - Treating others with respect and love 8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die - - See Skyler live in his own place - Go to Alaska - Fly a fighter jet (or at least get a ride) - Win the Lottery - Have a place in the mountains - Go back to Hawaii - Take a hot air balloon ride - Ride a zip line 8 Things I Say Often - - What did you say? - Fuck - Stop rolling on that! Come! - Damn it - Want to go fool around? - Shit - What time were we supposed to be at (fill in blank) - Use your words Skyler, tell me what you want 8 Books...

We haven't been able to get up and ski this year due to Skyler's back surgery. Our surgeon, Dr Chang is a volunteer at the National Sports Center for the Disabled at Winter Park, and knows we love to ski at their program. He told us please don't go up this year, he doesn't want any pounding on his fine work! But we still donate money to the program, because of what they have done for Skyler, and because if you are looking for a good charity, this one is staffed almost entirely by volunteers. They donate their time, effort, gas money and all for no pay. Just payment in smiles from someone who for just a little while, gets to be like everyone else. Here are a couple of pictures that are pretty cool, first Skyler up skiing in a sit-ski: Next is a picture I scanned in from their newsletter that I thought looked way cool: And these last are images of their posters that send a nice message:

Oh shit, I am still crying from laughing so hard! This is easily the funniest thing I have found in a long, long time! Clitter, glitter for your vagina!

Should I get a dog? Or should I have a kid?

Update on Skyler over at my other blog http://skylerspine.blogspot.com/

An alert friend of mine sent me this video I had forgotten about!

To the person who found my blog by searching for "narrow cervix", I hope you found what you were looking for. Come back and visit again some time! The Management

I have been collection stories and video for awhile of different things I see that I just don't understand. What is the fascination to live among animals that can tear you apart? Why try and think that we can alter nature, even if we have raised an animal from a baby? Doesn't the risk outweigh the "awwww" factor? Two guys raised a lion from childhood, then let it free in Africa to live with other wild lions. The men came back a year later to see how it was doing. Watch for the moment the lion recognizes them. What happens if the Lion doesn't recognize you? How about this guy who lets his sled dogs play with the Polar Bears while chained up? Hey dude, chain yourself up out there! And then there is this guy from Anchorage. There was an article in one of the newspapers about how he retired there and has been feeding the bears for 25 years in his backyard. The bears come and hang out with him and his guests, and he thinks they are his buddies. This bozo even sits...

More pearls of wisdom from dubya: "Recession means that people's incomes, at the employer level, are going down, basically, relative to costs, people are getting laid off." "The senator has got to understand if he's going to have--he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."

You know, back when I worked in cubeville, I would actually have liked this!

I saw a new home get built for this family last night on Extreme Make Over Home Edition, and was blown away by their story. This kid is a great musical talent, his dad really rocks, and it was great to see a family who really deserved a break get their new place! He marches in the band at Louisville, and ESPN did a story on him: Rick Reilly did a piece on him : Here is Patrick's webpage: http://www.patrickhenryhughes.com/index.html

From one of my old co-worker from up in Minnesota, a local lady at a comedy club. She is pretty damn good actually!

Guaranteed to make you throw up in the back of your mouth just a little, comes Geriatric Erotica. A collection of the famous limited edition erotic book series that took the central Florida retirement community by storm is now available WORLD-WIDE!

From SiliconValley.com, comes this wonderful quote: "For a computer geek like me, it's really sexy to hear Jessica talk about stable, semi-Lagrangian fluid flows." -- Duncan Brinsmead of Autodesk, one of the many winners of science and technical Oscars on Saturday who were as thrilled with presenter Jessica Alba as they were about their prize. Said Ron Fedkiw, a Stanford University associate professor and consultant to Industrial Light and Magic on fluid simulation, "They said I got 60 seconds so I might just spend the last 15 realizing I'm 10 feet away from the most beautiful woman on the planet. And no restraining order this time."

HL knows a thing or two about raising kids with special needs. So he always has these tough questions running around in his head, as do we... here's a Question for Class Discussion: LONG TERM GOALS. What do you forsee in th' future? Adulthood? Work? Relationships?? What do you want and what does he want? This is very difficult to answer, because our tactic until just recently has been to just think about the immediate future. It is a bit of a self-defense tactic of our so we don't drive ourselves nuts! Skylers future will always require a dedicated caregiver to help him with literally everything he has to do. He just doesn't have enough ability to do anything for himself. So whether or not that is going to happen living with us, or living someplace else comes down to a whole lot of factors. Money, proper setting for him to live in, trust in the other caregiver to do no harm, it is a tough nut to crack really. There are waiting lists for funding, and there are jobs ...

Hey there guys! Remember that Valentines day is just 2 days away and you know you need to get your special gal that perfect something. That's why the crack staff here at Some days its not worth chewing through the leather straps has been working around the clock to provide you, the clueless male, these wonderful gift ideas... Show your girl that you never want to be far away from her by getting yourselves matching Proximity detection shirts! They actually light up and show signal strength as they get closer to each other: Not quite Geeky enough for you? Well then give her the gift of a special poem! So maybe your special girl doesn't appreciate shirts, that's why you can show your romantic side by getting her HTTPanties! Nothing says take me big boy like a "413 requested entity too large" message... But wait Skydad, I need a little something for that ex of mine that sends a special message you say? Look no further than this delightful cutlery holder to let h...

This is great, makes me think that there are actually people who care out there! :^) Suze asks: Does Skyler have a hard time eating? Can he feed himself or does he have trouble doing it? Good eater or picky eater? Eating is tough for Skyler. I didn't know this until we got into the whole CP thing, but the reason he can't talk, has problems eating, drools, is because your mouth is the most complex muscle control group you have. Walking is a piece of cake compared to talking and swallowing because of the different muscle groups involved. You have jaw motion, tongue control, neck muscles, and finally you have to control breath. That is a lot going on! Skyler can't feed himself, he just doesn't have good enough arm control, so we have been feeding him his whole life. He has to eat easy to chew stuff like pastas, mashed potatoes, and if we give him harder to chew stuff, it always has to be cut very small. He is kind of a picky eater, but since June of last year we ha...

Hey you guys are great! Thanks for all of the thoughtful questions and comments, keep them coming! Grant mentioned he wants to hang out with Skyler and watch Robin Mead. Dude, that's my job, no horning in on the action! It is kind of fun to watch Skylers reaction to some girls, he gets all red in his face and ears when he really finds someone attractive. He reaches out to touch their hair, what a little guy... Pezda, I hope the info I sent you off list helps, you can always give me another shout if you have more questions. HL, who knows quite a bit about the world of special needs asks: Have you programmed dirty words into his Dynavox? The answer is no, just because he would use them all of the time and it would probably get us into even more trouble than we already are with the school district. You know what is funny though, he compensates in ways for lack of language. There was a unit on Geology he had in 6th grade, and we put in all of the terms he needed for the class into...

May I recommend Mandles? Just taking a moment to post some more twisted humer, keep those Skyler questions coming!

My sister Sandi, from Sandi's Zoo didn't have a question, but she knows everything that goes on with us so why should she? I love you lots sis, and hey - update that blog why don't you? Chris from Radcliffs Random Midnight Thoughts left a couple of questions, and don't worry, there are no rude questions among us friends: I'm intrigued by how Skyler communicates. How does that work? Skyler uses a communications device called a Dynavox. It is a touch screen device that has pre-programmed pages and our own pages on it with buttons that are touched for speech. Each Button you touch causes the device to say the word or the letter that the button represents. It can also learn IR commands like a universal remote control for your TV, DVD, Tivo etc... Skylers system has about 200 different pages programmed into it, we have done a lot of work on it. He is not really able to carry on a conversation like we would, because it takes him so long to spell out a word or to bui...

Hey there, thanks for playing along an asking about our life! I hope this continues. Here are the first few questions I have received: The amazing Suze from suzelsass wants to know: Is he able to walk? and What does he think of all this blogging business? He is unable to walk. He has very limited use of his left arm and hand, enough to use his communications device somewhat slowly, but effectively to play on the computer and let us know what he needs. Skylers form of CP is called Spastic Quad, meaning that all of his 4 limbs are affected, and that his muscles are spastic, or too tight. As far as this blogging stuff is concerned, if it doesn't involve looking for pictures of the hot TV personalities on the computer, he isn't interested! Next up is my old workmate/cubemate Kristi from GetKristiLove with this question: If Skyler could instantly walk tomorrow, what would be the first thing you'd do? Since Skyler has always relied on us to get him around, and generally been ...

I have tried to come up with something interesting, thought provoking, or some sage wisdom for the big 500th post event. But sadly, I just don't have the energy lately for anything other than my usual quirky humor and video posts. So I thought I might try something different. Since one of the reasons I started this blog was to let everyone in on my life with Skyler, I thought why not open it up to those of you who are curious about anything. So here is the deal: Ask me any question. Ask me a bunch of questions! No subject is off the table. You want to know my deepest feelings about raising a boy with CP, what goes on in our lives, anything at all. Just ask. Send me a list of questions if you want, or just ask in the comments section. It really doesn't matter, I will be honest with you and try and give you a little glimmer about the world we live in. So open up, let 'er rip, the balls in your court.

Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report that I weigh 135 lbs.. Due to my surprise ...

I thought this was very funny! Some of the artists from the 60's are re-releasing their hits with new lyrics to accommodate us Baby Boomers... good news, for those feeling a little older and missing those great old tunes... Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker" The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip" The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone" Ringo Starr - "I Get By With A Little Help From Depends" Marvin Gaye - "I Heard It Through The Grape Nuts" Procol Harem - "A Whiter Shade Of Hair" Johnny Nash - "I Can't See Clearly Now" Leo Sayer - "You Make Me Feel Like Napping" ABBA - "Denture Queen" Paul Simon - "Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver" Roberta Flack - "The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face" Commodores - "Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom" Rolling Stones - "You Can't Always Pee When You W...

This is out of the latest Orvis catalog, which is full of stuff to buy for your dogs...

I always enjoy reading Bruce Schneier's blog about security matters. He seems to have a good sense about him and not the far right "if you don't have anything to hide, why not let them search your things" attitude. Here is a quote from his latest: "We've been told we have to trade off security and privacy so often ... that most of us don't even question the fundamental dichotomy. But it's a false one. Security and privacy are not opposite ends of a seesaw; you don't have to accept less of one to get more of the other. ... Since 9/11, approximately three things have potentially improved airline security: reinforcing the cockpit doors, passengers realizing they have to fight back and -- possibly -- sky marshals. Everything else -- all the security measures that affect privacy -- is just security theater and a waste of effort. By the same token, many of the anti-privacy 'security' measures we're seeing -- national ID cards, warrantless e...