Some days it's not worth chewing through the leather straps

My buddy and great finder of videos, Tim, passed this along to me the other day. My favorite scene is the guy laying on the office floor trying to hold his guts (packing peanuts) in. Check it out, makes me want to go back to working in cube-ville.

Some handy tips for the New Year, safety first people!

More questions have come in for my version of the Honest Scrap Tag that the wonderful ExPat threw my way. So without further a-dew, or-doo, whatever that phrase is, away we go... ~E wants to know "What rank did you end up in when you left the Navy? I'm only asking because I know some people in the military as well." First of all ~E, thanks a lot for making me look for that character in your name all over my keyboard! ;^) I was in for 4 years between 1975 and 1979, and during that time rose up to Petty Officer 3rd class. That is an E-4 for those with military knowledge. I came close to loosing my E-4 and busted to E-3 because I sent an aircraft I was controlling home due to my lack of sleep. I was dozing off because I had been awake too long and felt I had to stop right then. So I told the pilot to return to base and got in trouble for that. The lovely love letter writer Cora , has a really great question. She wants the personnel scoop, which is great! That...

First response to my modified meme from the ExPat . That Doc character got right after it, thanks very much sir! Lots of great questions in here, so here we go: What does Skyler weigh? I'm just curious because I was thinking about how you would have to lift him in and out of the tub, the chair, the van, etc. and I wondered if that would give you trouble with your back. And his chair has got to be a monster to lug in and out of the van. Skyler about 100 pounds, and together with his chair it is about 180 or so. Getting him around is a bit of a chore, but I have learned different techniques for moving him. The problem with moving him is that he can't help, and in some cases hinders the movement because he can't control his limbs. For example, I might pick him up out of his shair to transfer him somewhere else and all the sudden his torso and legs shoot out completely straight so it's like holding a long board. As far as questions for yourself, I think I've got a f...

A fairly new reader to my blog, That Damn Expat, has tagged me with an award. It is comprised of the following: The honorees are to: a) first list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! B) pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap." I hate to do this to you expat, but I decided that I am going to change the rules a bit here. Instead of just listing 10 honest things about myself, I am opening up the floor for questions. This is because there are quite a few more readers of my blog since I did this for my 500th post . I let anybody ask any question about Skyler and answered honestly, and agreed that nothing was off-topic. I heard from quite a few people that they enjoyed it and learned a lot about Skyler, me and my life with him, so here we go again. So have at it folks, ask the tough questions and I will do follow-up posts with answers. Want to know about his future, his past, how he...

All right, gather around all you young-uns, I'm gonna tell you about the olden days. Growin up in the mountains of Colorado we didn't have any of those fancy-pants electronics you kids are always plugged into these days... Hey! Timmy! Speakin of electronics pull the damn earbuds out and pay attention to Sky-Pappy! I'm reminiscing and unless you want a trip to the ER to get those outta your hind end you best listen up. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, the old days up in the hills. When men were men and boys was stupid... We didn't have any DVDs, video games, or electronic whatcha-callits. We played real games, like ride at each other full steam ahead with brooms like knights and see who could knock each other off their bike! That was the ticket, real honest fun, sure there were broken bones and concush.. Kuncusion... Gettin yer bell rung! But did we complain? Hell no, we were tough! I remember back a ways, before the video things on the movin picture box. That...

I have had this episode of West Wing on my TiVo forever, and tried like hell to get it into a format to share with you because I could never find it out there on the tubes. I never could convert it because of my lack of decent video tools. But now, kind of like a Christmas present to all of us, some kind soul has put it out on youtube. I loved the West Wing, considered it one of my most favorite shows ever. The writing was good, the acting was good, and the production itself was really amazing when you watched the fast action, moving between rooms, the lighting. All of it top notch. This episode needs just a bit of explaining because there are some things you need to know before watching. The presidents secretary, Mrs Landingham, had twin sons who were killed at the same time in Viet Nam on Christmas. Because of that she is down during the holidays. One of the members of the presidents staff, Toby Ziegler, is contacted by the DC police because a homeless man died on the mall and...

This is one of those stories that would make Hitler cry, make an SS officer re-think his choice of career, cause Charles Manson to switch to accordion music instead of Beatles... It would make Spock tear up for crying out loud! Maybe it's best if you just don't read it... Merry Christmas My Friend "I will never forget you," the old man said. A tear rolled down his leathery cheek. "I'm getting old. I can't take care of you anymore." With his head tilted to one side, Monsieur DuPree watched his master. "Woof woof! Woof woof!" He wagged his tail back and forth, wondering, What's he up to now? "I can't take care of myself anymore, let alone take care of you." The old man cleared his throat. He pulled a hankie from his pocket and blew his nose with a mighty blast. "Soon, I'll move to an old age home and, I'm sorry to say, you can't come along. They don't allow dogs there, you know." Bent over from age,...

I loved In Living Color. Homey was my favorite character. And if that isn't funny enough, check out this family: Christmas Morning - watch more funny videos

Clicky to makey bigey! Thanks to all of my online friends out here, I truly wish you all the best for the holiday season. My New Years resolution is to post more about Skyler, and try and use the bad words less often.

Christmas might be canceled this year if it is foggy, based on this tragic news from up north...

Tis the holiday season, for raunchy videos. You are welcome. A Holiday Gift - watch more funny videos

C-SPAN coverage of Santa Claus asking Congress for a financial bailout of the North Pole - Present Giving Industry. From National Lampoon. Santa Claus Bailout Hearings - watch more funny videos

I know I never post anything about music because I am such a nerd, but I found this version of "After The Goldrush" one of my favorite songs. Hope you like it, and sorry for butting into your arena Beckeye!

Viral for warchild. Quite the ad, very powerful. Check it out...

The one, the only, the man who needs no introduction , is running contest over at his place. Well, it seems more like a charity scam, but lets all call it a contest just to stay one step ahead of the man, shall we? Here are the details, straight from the good doctors mouth, er, blog: The That Blue Yak Crappy Gifts for Sick People Stockpile. You see, most people don't want to actually buy a gift for charity. But what if you didn't have to actually buy one? I'm proposing that we make a list of gifts that MIGHT be given to some sick people and we just send the list to a place where sick people are. Maybe, just maybe, some rich dude will see the list and buy all of the presents for the sick people. Who knows? And why waste really good things on sick people? They're probably going to just cough on it anyway or something. And it's the thought that counts right? So the crappier the gift the better. So what you do is: 1) Pick a crappy gift for the That Blue Yak Crappy Gift...

Dizzblnd over at Soggy_Doggy_Bloggy has presented me with an award! She received an award and in the time honored tradition of passing gas, er, passing along awards, nominated me. This tag says I have to list 5 addictions. Whaaa! How did this take such a nasty turn all of a sudden? One moment I am basking in the glow of my statue, now it's some sort of intervention. Still, shoulder to the wheel, stiff upper lip, off I go to my writers den in the southwestern wing of stately Sky-Dad manor. Ahh, who the hell am I kidding, there is no room, no wing, no manor. I write on a cardboard box while stealing WiFi from Starbucks... Nude... My 5 addictions are, in no particular order: 1. Starbucks. Yes, the devil has it's hooks in me, I swear the key ingredient is crack! 2. Blogging. Reading all of you fine folks has become a serious time suck to my life (not that I had a life) and I love every minute of it! 3. Exercise. I like to stay fit, especially cardio-wise. Mom and Dad le...

And you know I am always up for booze! Check out this article from Modern Drunkard Magazine, it is a little bit of wonderful... Gift Tips Whenever you open a non-liquor gift, loudly proclaim, “Oh, great, how the fuck am I supposed to drink this? ” They’ll know what to get you next year. If you’re forced to go to your employee Christmas party, always try to blackout. Because no one wants to spend their Christmas vacation knowing for sure they got fired. If you buy a bottle of liquor as a gift and accidentally drink half of it, just tell the giftee it’s a bottle and a personality test. If he says it’s half full, he’s an optimist. If he says it’s half empty, he’s a dick. If you receive three cocktail shakers every Christmas, you are a drunkard. If you receive ten, get ready for an intervention. Pine needles steeped in a bottle of vodka makes for an excellent gift. Because, trust me, you sure as hell won’t want to drink it. Don’t worry if you hate wrapping presents, becau...

Timmy writes: Dear Santa, Please send me a baby brother. Santa writes back: Sure kid, Send me your mother...

New reader of mine and awesome love letter writer Cora has tagged me with a Holiday Meme. Here is the skinny: 1. link to the person who tagged you 2. post the rules on your blog 3. list 6 random HOLIDAY things about yourself 4. tag and link 7 people at the end of your post 5. let each person know they have been tagged 6. let the tagger know when your entry is up Six random holiday things are: 1. I used to belong to a couple of different singing groups and miss going out and singing for various charities and such. From "The what's their name anyway singers" to "The last note singers", we always had strange names! But our Christmas concert was pretty damn good. 2. My most favorite Christmas moment from TV was West Wing Christmas when Tobie arranged for an honor guard for a homeless vet. I am working up a post about it, so nobody steal my idea!! 3. The best Christmas gift I ever got was a huge dump truck called Big Bruiser and it was battery operated a...

Updated this morning: New record low last night -19 with -32 wind chill. Because I don't have any on my thermometer right now, zero! Add in the wind chill and it's -18 out there. But the two pooches, Hootie and Yordi still want to go for their walk, and who am I to turn them down? Burning off some energy before walkies! What's the last thing you see in the camera right before you get two paws right in your chest?

Just a bunch of random goodness I have been collecting for awhile. Lets go see what we have, shall we? This! Is! Wet!! I'm a killer! I love this and want it posted in all work places. I don't fear your radiation, I shall simply leap over it!! Beware of squids with mutant penis heads. Just dial 3, like 3 times... I guess that is enough for today, later everyone.

From Boards Magazine: There may just be one person who can put Baby in a corner, as seen in Crew Cuts assistant editor Michael Southworth's winning entry in AICE's Camp Kuleshov trailer competition.

This is almost the same conversation I had about where do babies come from!

Do you hate those commercials about yogurt and how good it is with a white hot burning fury of a thousand suns like I do? Anybody? Ok, well maybe that is a tad bit strong, but I hate them all the same. Imagine my love of this parody on those commercials, with all of it's foul language and nastiness, which I consider to be it's more redeeming feature... Go ahead, clicky, you have been warned. Yogurt is so Good... by Rachael Harris

Johnny Yen had a wonderful post about the Our Lady of Angels Fire that I was memorized with. It was such a sad tale, but it reminded me of an event in my life that I had a little trouble tracking down some details on. being from a very small town, there weren't many events that happened of importance growing up. There were some mining tragedies in the early days, fires, and the usual number of missing people and crime. But nothing that really made the evening news so to speak. One event I remember my dad talking about as I grew up was the crash of a plane that was one of two carrying the Wichita State football team. The reason it sticks in my mind is that dad was one of the people who was first on the scene that day, and he really didn't like talking about it. Let me tell you about the crash and what led up to it. On Friday, October 2, 1970, a twin-engine Martin 404 carrying Wichita State football players, staff and fans to a game in Utah struck treetops and ...

Beth over at Cup of Coffey put up her bucket list, so I thought I would steal it and add/subtract to it! Here is Beth's list: Here’s The Bucket List of things I have or have not done throughout my life. If I haven't done it, the line is in green. I colored things that I have yet to do in Red, so if you are keeping score at home, Beth=green, Sky-Dad=Red. Some items Beth and I matched, so they are Red cause I win! Gone on a blind date Skipped school Watched someone die Been to Canada Been to Mexico Been to Florida Spent the night on three or more continents Been on a plane Skydived Did a parachute jump Deep-sea dived Been lost Been on the opposite side of the country Gone to Washington, D.C. Swam in the ocean Wasted too much time on Facebook Cried yourself to sleep Gone parking post-college Played cops and robbers Bungee-jumped Recently colored with crayons Been overseas ...

This is meant to be serious, but I just can't stop laughing. Go crazy granny, but treat that mouse like a hot potato!! See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor .

This is for my former Citrus friend who used to post about God Talk! You know who you are Captain... It makes more sense than most things I have heard.

Note: This is from last year, but I have nothing better to say about today, or more to add to this. Pearl Harbor Is there any other location on Earth that is more associated with a date on the Calendar than Pearl Harbor is? I think everyone can make the immediate association between December 7th and the attack on Pearl Harbor, even if they are just young kids in school. I was lucky enough to have been stationed there on my first ship while in the Navy. It is a special place with an amazing history, not only for the US entry into WWII, but for the shipyards there. The locals used to say it was one of the riches places for diving for shells around, and many would still sneak into the harbor to try and dive there when I was there. As an act of respect and acknowledgment, when commissioned naval ships pass each other on the water, sailors stop what they are doing, stand at attention and salute the oncoming ship. The sight is can be quite impressive, Sailors line the upper deck while stan...