I never get what I want...

Why is it that even when I drop the not-so-subtle hint of leaving a catalog out with things circled, I still never get the stuff I want?  I always do that for my loved ones, but do they reciprocate?  Hell no...

Really, these are all I wanted for Christmas:

I can't help but think of the Star Trek episode called "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield" when I see this suit.


  1. I think I know why you didn't get this stuff for Christmas...

    You're not a pimp.

    Are you? ; )

    Or living in the 70's.

    I hope!

    The bottom left picture on the 2nd to last page makes it look like the guy's got granny b(.)(.)bs.

  2. You know, your blog title is kind of clunky. I propose you change it to Eleganza. Now.

  3. Chris,

    Why didn't you tell me. I can get you some of those double knit jump suits right now. They were in my granddad's closet. Your what???? 5'8"? Should work out. Sorry they are all one color. Height of fashion for the country farm just a decade or so ago.

  4. Solid, Chris. Just, solid.

    Gimme some skin.

  5. JJ: I'm not a pimp, but I play one on TV...

    BeckEye: If I ever change it, this is the first name I go with. But it needs an audio clip of Fred "the hammer" Williamson saying the name.

    Lynette: Oh darn, I am much taller than that! Too bad though, I was looking forward to those!

    Cormac: Right on brother (throws up fist).

  6. Eleganza clothes have made my life a living hell. All I do now is have sex with beautiful women who see me wearing those awesome manly clothes. I never have a 'me' time. I wish I could stop wearing Eleganza, but I can't.

  7. Holy crapola. Eleganza is sure stylin'! Those lapels. Those high waists. Those....EVERYTHING. Dude, save your pennies and get one of everything, photograph yourself in them, then post them here, we won't laugh AT ALL, honest. Of course you might have to order them direct express mail from 1973...

  8. I like the 'King Collar' and the 'Gambler's Sleeve Shirt'

    It's a pity that more men don't wear these wonderful creations!!

  9. Doctor: Combining Eleganza with your charm is almost a combustible mix.

    Veggie: The day I invent a time machine, it is already set for 1973!

    Shana: The king collar was my fav also, it doubles as an extra napkin!

  10. You should do yourself a solid and place an order right away. Then make everyone call you Shaft.

    They will fear you not because of your coolness but because you'll be wearing 65% Dacron which can repel stains and poke holes in the ozone at the same time.

    But you will throw your Jheri curled head back and laugh as you brush them off your ruffled cuff sleeves because you're wearing dashing slacks from Eleganza. And things happen when you wear Eleganza.

  11. Mmmm. I bet that really breathes when it's hot and humid out...And smells good too.

  12. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

  13. Over my Christmas break, I've been reading Dan Epstein's "Big Hair and Plastic Grass: A Funky Ride Through Baseball and America In the Swinging Seventies." Epstein goes into the hideous fashions in both baseball and America in the seventies. Never again, I suspect, will it ever be okay to wear corduroy bell-bottoms with rayon fake satin shirts with eye-boggling patterns. And that's a good thing.

  14. Anonymous1:45 PM

    You know, I think Eleganza still advertises in the back of Parade Magazine. Solid.

  15. Why do I now have the theme song from SHAFT in my head???
    Yep, something sure does happen when you wear Eleganza but it's illegal in all 50 states.

  16. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2cHkMwzOiM

  17. he he he, you guys are all such good commenters!

  18. I want that coat that frames the crotch in the 2nd ad and I want to wear it with nothing else on. Is that so wrong?

  19. Dale: It's only wrong if you have one 'nad that hangs substantially lower than the other.

  20. Only 96% acetate? That's SCIENCE at work.


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