Back when men were men, and drugs were legal!

Good day readers, I stumbled across a treasure of wonderful old advertisements for drugs from the olden days that I had to share with you.

Actually, most are from the old days, but some were advertised as late as the 60's and 70's!

Check this stuff out, it is amazing that most was just sold over the counter. Our grandparents never complained of pain and problems, they had the good drugs! Hell, I am impressed my grandparents could remember their names...

In the US, cocaine was sold over the counter until 1914 and was commonly found in products like toothache drops, dandruff remedies and medicinal tonics

Coca wine combined wine with cocaine, producing a compound now known as cocaethylene, which, when ingested, is nearly as powerful a stimulant as cocaine.

The marketing efforts for coca wine focused primarily on its medicinal properties, in part because it didn't taste very good and in part because the cocaethylene effects were perceived to "fortify and refresh body and brain" and "restore health and vitality."

Coke not getting the job done for you? Well fear not, we have some stronger stuff available!
From 1898 through to 1910, heroin was marketed as a cough suppressant by trusted companies like Bayer -- alongside the company's other new product, Aspirin.

Hmmm, Asprin or Heroin, Asprin or Heroin...

Not to be outdone by those bastards over at Bayer, Smith Glyco found a mixture of heroin and glycerin. "No other preparation has had its therapeutic value more thoroughly defined or better established."

You know Doc, my morphine isn't working as well as it had in the past. Well then, how about some injectable Opium? Doc asks, "You don't have any problem with using needles at home do you?"

Don't you love the little tykes holding the big bottle of magic stuff? Depending on which list of contents you reference, this cure for colds, coughs and "all diseases of the throat and lungs" contained either morphine or heroin.

I think I want some "teething pain syrup". Contained 65 mg of morphine per fluid ounce!

Because really, what could be better for Asthma than a smoke? "Not recommended for children under 6."

Before they concentrated their efforts on good old boys, beer companies marketed to nursing mothers. No wonder I love my beer so much...

Random Quackery:

A "cure for Dyspepsia, Low Spirits, Nervousness, Heartburn, Colic Pains, Wind in the Stomach or Pains in the Bowels, Headache, Drowsiness, Kidney and Liver Complaints, Melancholy, Delirium Tremens, and Intemperance."

From right out of hell itself, "A speedy & permanent cure for headache, toothache, neuralgia, catarrh and weak nerves."

Say Mary, how do I get me some of that great shit?

Let's move up to more present time.
Ah yes, but remember, it wasn't all old timey drugs and quackery. Some of this was marketed right up to the 70's!

Brand name for butabarbital. "Mabel is's 'that time' in her life. To see her through the menopause, there's gentle 'daytime sedation' in Butisol Sodium."

There's our old buddy the "lude" making it's appearance. Brand name for the now-illegal sedative methaqualone. "Now the physician has one less tired, sleepy and apprehensive patient to contend with."

Been eating too much? Try some Black Beauties...

Come in out of the dark with Meth...
Brand name for methamphetamine. "The selective cerebral action of Norodin is useful in dispelling the shadows of mild mental depression."

Brand name for dextroamphetamine. "Many of your patients -- particularly housewives -- are crushed under a load of dull, routine duties that leave them in a state of mental and emotional fatigue...Dexedrine will give them a feeling of energy and well-being, renewing their interest in life and living."

This is one of my favorites. If they are too young to swallow the harsh drugs, we have suppositories...
Brand name for pentobarbital. "When little patients balk at scary, disquieting examinations...When they need prompt sedation (and the oral route isn't feasible)...try Nembutal sodium suppositories...There is little tendency toward morning-after hangover."

When crisis demands quick-acting hypnotics." Doc! It's a crisis! I said it's a fucking CRISIS!!!

Gramps chasing you with his cane again? Keep that supply of Thorazine handy.


  1. Whattayamean? These drugs are illegal now??

  2. Anonymous11:41 AM

    Those are awesome! Catarrh. Now there's a word you don't hear anymore.

  3. NOW we know why they were called "the good ole days"

    I coulduse any number of those right now... sigh

  4. Oh wow... I've heard of a little bourbon on the gums when a munchkin is teething, but this is ridiculous! In the best way, of course.

  5. They still say catarrh in Britain. These are awesome. What kills me is that the drug companies were built on their earlier quackery and now they resent anyone else getting in on it (like herbalists) even though they've got all the really great stuff wrapped up.

  6. 'Senile agitation'. lol! Classic!

    Too bad I was born a generation (or two) too late for the good stuff!

  7. Want. Some. Nervine. Now!

  8. Anonymous5:59 PM

    I knew I was born in the wrong decade.

  9. Let's see, I'll take some of Wolcotts Instant Pain Annihilator, some Biphetamine, and some Norodin just to round it out. Now I have to go look these up on some 3rd world pharmacy website. Thanks!

  10. This is what went on before television... ::sigh::

  11. I love looking at stuff like this. I wonder what they're selling us now that people will make fun of us for in the future.

  12. LOL, I found the's now sold under the name Adderall.

  13. As your Doc, I would recommend a large persciption to all of these with many, many renewals.

    But let's face it, these have nothing on a couple of Guinness's do they?

    Contact me immediately if you need to renew your perscription even if it is "after hours".


  14. "Dexedrine will give them a feeling of energy and well-being, renewing their interest in life and living."

    Is that what "Dexy's Midnight Runners" were all about? This certainly changes the context to "C'mon Eileen."


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