Redneck Pickup Lines

One of my gym friends, Jack, sent me this lovely collection of redneck pickup lines. I can't wait to try a few out...

Did you fart?
Cuz you blew me away.

My Love fer you is like diarrhea .
I can't hold it in.

Do you have a library card?
Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

Is there a mirror in yer pants?
Cuz I can see myself in em.

If you was a tree and I was a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, We kin sleep til afternoon.

Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.


  1. I always liked the line "Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner". Mine are green, btw. I think I heard that line in a movie once.
    Nice photo, haha.

  2. Oddly enough, I like the first one best. Hee hee.

  3. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mee tooo Cora!

    Oh, and those two are dead sexy! yum!

  4. All good lines to use at the next family reunion, along with:

    Yore prettier than a fresh washed possum.

    Second cousin means country lovin'.

  5. Somehow I feel like "fat penguin" would really work on me.

  6. I can see several of my brothers using the mirror one. The women they attract would go for it too.

  7. LOL when I read them.. all I can her is Larry the Cable Guy

    Loved em

  8. Anonymous6:42 PM

    Sniff...sob...sniff. I'm sorry. Those just reminded me of my wedding day.


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